How to proceed with this girl.

[razkay]

I may have an opportunity to start a relationship with this girl. But I'm having a hard time reading her since this would be the first real shot at having a girlfriend.

I was invited to a casino/club by a friend for his cousin's birthday party who introduced me to a girl.

We hit it off. She bought me a beer and then walked around and had the 'getting to know you' conversation. She then bought two shots, walked around some more. I bought another two shots and danced with her. She bought another two shots and we were pretty drunk and decided to go in the pool. The club had an indoor swimming pool. No one else was in the pool. We were having fun, and eventually got real close and started making out. My **** got hard and we were close enough for her to feel it. She pulled it out, pulled down her panties and guided it in her. So we're ****ing the pool with no one else in the pool and she's biting my neck telling me how good it is. I think she had an orgasm, not too sure. An hour before we leave, we mess around again in one of the hot tubs. Before we all leave, she gives me her business card.

I call her the next day and we talk for about 30 minutes. Nothing special there. We setup a date to hang out in a couple days.


So, we met today. She was ready on time and looked like she put effort into her outfit. But she didn't seem too open as I thought she would be. We had dinner which she paid half for and told me she really enjoyed it. We decided to go for dessert, which she bought and we shared a piece of cake. She expressed interest in my artwork when we met at the club, so I offered to show it to her. She responded like "is it at your place?" I said yeah, and then she said "well, can you drive me home afterward". So basically I took her to my place, showed her my artwork and we left. She asked if I lived alone and looked around my apartment.

On the drive back, she asked if I would come along later that week to help her pick out a dog/cat. Then she made a comment like I drive so I can come chill with you whenever, you don't have to pick me up. When I got to her street, she went to get out but I said "let me get a kiss" and we kissed but it wasn't long or passionate.

I don't know what to think of this situation. She was comfortable enough to see my artwork at my place, but wasn't open to doing anything but that. The whole date she seemed kinda reserved. I didn't really have the opportunity to hold her hand, but we did touch hands and I touched/smelled her hair.

Girls can seem really interested in a guy, but then turn ice cold or stop calling just like that. Is she just feeling me out now before she gets physical with me again? If we see each other again, should I take the initiative and be sexual with her (ex. putting my hand on the small of her back, giving her a random kiss on her neck?) How can I do this when a girl seems a bit stand-offish?

 

[razkay]

But she also was kinda pissed off about a business deal, so maybe she wasn't in the best of moods. I think it went well if that was the case.

 

[Julian]

Yeah man she feels kinda slutty after fking you so fast, dont put any labels on this like "relationship" "girlfriend" etc. Just go with the flow homie. The question is what do YOU want out of this? Do you want to pursue things further? Shes trying to see if you just want a cheap piece of ass or maybe develop something more.

Next time make sure you tap that ass good. Go for some drinks and bring her back to your place to show her some new "art" buahhahaha. Then hit that sh1t like there no tomorrow. If you like her and are feeling her and show her you are she will be more inclined to open herself to you again. Right now shes on the fence because shes not sure what you want. Show her you want her and I bet you she will melt faster then a ice cream cone in a texas barnyard. Maybe take her for a walk or do something where you can talk to her, conversate, get inside that head of hers...tell her the night you guys met was amazing and you wanna know she feels etc.

Honestly I think you got a good girl here, she gave that ass up quick because she was feelin you from the getgo, shes not a cheap ass gold digger, shes paid for stuff and is showing you she will take care of you (buy you things, drive etc)...all you gotta do is be a man about this dont fall hard for her dont fall for her at all, just do what i said in the previous paragraph. Show her passion and show her some love ya dig? Just dont be a sucka about it.

 

[Darwin_Child]

I think Julian's got the right answer for this. I don't really see it playing out any other way, ya know?

You two fvcked pretty quick, so it's obvious that she's accessible that way. But, she didn't blow you off afterward, so it's obvious that she's in to you, too.

Just keep your cool, don't rush things or seem to eager, and go with the flow. Let her lead for a while, I think, to see if she's genuinely interested.

 

[Igetit!]

I may have an opportunity to start a relationship with this girl. But I'm having a hard time reading her since this would be the first real shot at having a girlfriend.

I was invited to a casino/club by a friend for his cousin's birthday party who introduced me to a girl.

We hit it off. She bought me a beer and then walked around and had the 'getting to know you' conversation. She then bought two shots, walked around some more. I bought another two shots and danced with her. She bought another two shots and we were pretty drunk and decided to go in the pool. The club had an indoor swimming pool. No one else was in the pool. We were having fun, and eventually got real close and started making out. My **** got hard and we were close enough for her to feel it. She pulled it out, pulled down her panties and guided it in her. So we're ****ing the pool with no one else in the pool and she's biting my neck telling me how good it is. I think she had an orgasm, not too sure. An hour before we leave, we mess around again in one of the hot tubs. Before we all leave, she gives me her business card.

You made a classic mistake here.

You broke the model.

It's A.C.S.;Attraction COMFORT,Seduction.


You skipped the comfort phase. You went straight from the attraction a man and a woman feel when first meeting to being sexual/physical.



Once this girl had some time apart from you and the alcohol wore off,she realized she had been intimate with some guy she doesn't really know,which can make her feel like a slvt.


It's great you had sex and all,but do you even know anything about each other? It's like once the sex is over with,she looks over and see this stranger lying next to her.



And since you moved too fast,she'll probably think you think she's a slvt too.


Did you notice the surprise and apprehension she had when you told her the artwork was at your place? Plus she threw in the "Could you drive me home afterwards?" remark as a way of letting you know she wouldn't be spending the night.



It's not that she doesn't want sex,she just doesn't want to be view as a slvt by anyone,including YOU.

On the drive back, she asked if I would come along later that week to help her pick out a dog/cat.

Seems to me she's still interested in you,she just trying to do things the right way. She's already attracted to you,and you two have already had sex,so she's trying to get to know you and feel comfortable with you.


Or in other words,she's trying to get the "C" in the A.C.S. model.


If you were to take her out somewhere,walk,talk and spent time together while doing slight kino instead of trying to hop on her again,she might open back up.

I don't know what to think of this situation. She was comfortable enough to see my artwork at my place, but wasn't open to doing anything but that.

Easy dude,she wants to be viewed as a person,not as just some place for you to put your....umm...well,you know.



You might say,"Well,why did she have sex with me in the pool the first day I met her if she wants to take it slow and get to know each other?"



Simple. Women are emotional. You turned her on,you two were alone,you both were drunk,you do the math.



It's not the norm,but it does happen.

Edit:Aww,great. You beat me to it Julian. Guess I need to learn to type faster,lol.

 

[razkay]

Should I let her contact me, or am I still in the phase where the guy needs to make all the moves.

 

[razkay]

Thanks for the advice by the way. I don't think I moved too fast. We spent a good while talking in the club. But she really made all the moves. I think if a girl pulls out your member, 9/10 times you won't back off.

 

[starplayer]

This could be due to:
-she doesn't want to feel slvtty (like the other guys said). buyer's remorse
or
-low interest level


The reason i say low interest level is because i had a similar situation a few months ago. I slept with a girl the first night, then again a few nights later - she was all over me, seemed to be getting emotionally attached afterwards. "Awesome", i thought, "a new fvck buddy". Went out a third time which she was eager to do, and she was friendly enough but a bit cold, didn't even get a kiss (though didn't try). So i decided not to contact her again to see what she would do (ie. find out how much she wanted me) - well, never heard from her again so deleted her number and moved on to other girls.

Point is, girls change their mind in a matter of minutes (literally). This may not be what's happening in your case, but i'd make sure not to show too much interest and don't be too eager.

 

[Byezbozhniy]

I definitely don't think it's low interest level as 'starplayer' suggests it might be. I would excel in this situation.

Essentially she feels like a slut and is embarrassed about what happened. This is what I would do:

I'd build rapport with the girl and get her feeling comfortable.

I'd bring up what happened and empathise (i.e. lie and make out like you're having similar feelings). You have to be very subtle with your choice of language here, and your body language should still be screaming 'I want to **** you.' Non verbal communication is essential, but words are useful for hindsight. She can go home and think about these words and convince herself that you're on her level.

After empathising, I would have a semi philosophical / semi humourous talk about how attractions work in animals and how humans are no different in some ways. It's better if you're educated and can give insightful (and sometimes funny) examples of some other animals. If you do it right, she'll feel more justified. Comforting kino should also be added, to flavour.

It's all about gaining trust and then steering.

Girls fall in love with me all the time at this very stage of relationships.