How to proceed from here- part 2

[zorg198]

Hello All,

Iv'e opened a thread before about my situation but it was month ago and since then it evolved quite a bit so i want to open a new thread to explain the situation and how to proceed .


Girl - 25 years old , lives in another city , one hour apart from where i live. she study for a degree and lives there for the week and she comes on the weekend to my place , we spend the whole weekend together.

During the week we talk a lot , in the morning if i don't send her a good morning text she get upset , when she goes to school she calls me . during the day she calls me and send me text. in the night she calls me , she cant go to sleep without hearing my voice.

Don't get me wrong , im not confusing myself with all this stuff and i still keep talking to other girls and keep the interest alive , she sees i text with girls and i don't care since i don't owe her anything.

This last weekend she came to my place so tired because she didnt sleep at all , we didn't had sex like last week. we have sex a lot so it was kind of weird to me. even when i kiss her she didn't respond well. i drove her yesterday back to her town and i was a bit away from here and she noticed.
When i kissed her goodbye she huged me so tight she didnt want to let go , on my way back she sent me a text apologising on the way she acted and she explained she was very tired. she said how much i mean to her and she thinks about me all the time blah blah blah...

I noticed when the was on Whatsapp some guy she approved on facebook send her a text . should i bring it up? how to proceed from here? i mean i like her but i don't want to be the one who gets dumped here.


Tnx ,

Joe.

 

[sharkbeat]

She's vibing you. If you bring that up, she will most likely eject from the relationship. A text from a guy means nothing. Women get that all the time. Feeling insecure over a text is pretty stupid. So yes, if you bring that up, she knows you are insecure.

Are you two even exclusive of each other? Did you actually ask her out to be your exclusive GF? If not, there's nothing much to say but spin more plates and carry on.

 

[zorg198]

Hey ,
I won't bring that up , never. she sees i get text from girls and she get upset . she also got upest that i was texting with a girl . '

Exclusive- how i cant be exclusive with her ? i mean how do i get to the point we both agree i'm her boyfriend and she's my girlfriend. what do i say?

 

[GS750]

You wait for her to bring up exclusive. Never bring it up first. You are the prize.

 

[zorg198]

As i thought...
But should i be bothered by this guy? i mean i dont see her going out with anybody during the week because she's filled up with so much homework and also on her spare time she calls me and sees me.

Joe.

 

[Greasy Pig]

A lot of men - me abso-fvcking-lutely - immediately take it personally when their woman starts acting weird.
The truth is, she could be worrying about any number of things that don't involve you sweating and grunting on top of her.
Men could probably still fvck a chick at a wake for a good friend who's just died, but we're wired differently (thank God).

The fact she hugged you and apologised is a good sign. And all this depends on how serious you are about her.
If you see a future with her, you're going to have to put up with this kind of female bvllsht. But if she's just a plate, shrug your shoulders and hope she's happier next time you see her.
As for the other dude, I wouldn't react at all.

 

[zorg198]

To tell the truth she's the clingy between us , she calls me during the day. yesterday she saw i wasn't happy with this and she knew it , that's why she apologised.

I see a future with her , i just want to have the ability to read the signs before its too late.

Joe.

 

[zorg198]

Last time we hanged out i noticed her texting with her sister. i saw she approved a guy named X , i saw the name X sending her a text , how are you? its not a facebook text because it should show the full name . she gave her number to him. today i noticed she started liking his pictures. from sauterday she started acting strange. we didnt had sex because she said she was tired , when we kiss she look far away and strange. yesterday she was really pissed and wan't acting normal. should i cut my losses and move on?

 

[zorg198]

Anyone?

 

[El Suave]

Withdraw your attention a bit. Let her realize that she might lose you. Take a little longer to reply to her texts, and don't be afraid to not talk to her for a whole day. Just go cold for a whole day.

Right know, you're kinda chasing her....

 

[zorg198]

She used to call me every morning when she was on the bus , yesterday when i talked with her about sex she started to say other stuff then she used to. she changed. i know for a fact she has tooth problems and her pain is sky rocking and she getting upset a lot but i don't think this is an execuse. i will go cold whole day.

Joe.

 

[El Suave]

Go cold. It's not the toothache, it's the other guy giving her attention. If you confront her about it, you look weak and she will go for him. Withdraw attention and she will see you as high value.

If you really want, give her one of those BS excuses that they give when they don't reply. "my phone was acting up", "I only got your message now" etc

 

[zorg198]

She just called me , she told me her reactions thowards me its only because her tootchache nothing else. i don't know if i should beleive her.

Just finished talk with her on the phone , i think i am doing too much for her and giving her too much and its pisses me off. any recommandations what to do? she should come to me on the weekend .

 

[zorg198]

She stopped texting me during the day.. she would send me things , honey , how are you , i miss you and so on....

this is not the first time she acts like this- previous times she was very tired so she upsets and dosent talk to anyone but this time is different. i spoke with her this morning but since that time i didnt talked with her. she always calls me on 17:00- 18:00 when she's on the way back home in the bus. should i ignore the call? should i initiate contact at all today?

 

[Greasy Pig]

Tooth pain can do weird shyt to anyone. My family actually gave me an intervention a few years back saying they were worried about my mood swings and general short temper and aggression.
They thought I was on drugs but it was just toothache!

But still, her behaviour is concerning. Tell her to go see a fvcking dentist and lighten up.

 

[zorg198]

She will , but i don't know if the real cause for her behaviour is the tooth pain or the other guy who desire for her. she told me : I dont sleep , im very tired , i have a great tooth pain , i dont want to see anybody and don't want to talk with anybody. but this are lies.

Joe.

 

[zorg198]

Hello,
So today she will come to my house , she already told me on the phone she's dead tired so i souldn't raise my hopes we will have sex.

Should i try the oppsite? usually i would tocuh her all the time and kiss her . should i avoid any touching and see what happens?

 

[Greasy Pig]

You should definitely push for sex. If she doesn't give it up, then you can either shrug it off or confront her.
By shrugging it off, you display an aura of nonchalance which will get her hamster spinning. BUT, her hamster will only spin if she still has feelings for you. If she's done with you, she'll simply be relieved that you've stopped pressuring her.
If you confront her, you run the risk of coming off needy which will lower her libido even more.
I've gone down the confrontational path but stopped when I read Rollo's blog on "You can't negotiate desire".
Now I subscribe to the "don't act butthurt" school of thought because I think it displays maturity and that you don't let sex control you.

So when she comes over, act like nothing's wrong and put the moves on. You'll get a fairly good gauge of where she's at and be able to act accordingly or develop an exit strategy.

 

[zorg198]

I see , should i be a bit off distant.

yesterday i cut off all calls with her and also today i barly respond to her whatsapp msg.. she initiated them since she saw i didnt sent her any msg. when i respond its only fast response without any writing like i did before . like: baby , babe and so on.... as we speak she called me . lol


Joe.

 

[Frogster]

Every girl will have hormonal fluctuations that will influence her behaviour towards you.

Every girl will exhibit "Hot one day - Cold the next" behaviour.

From your description, it sounds like she's into you. Don't be pushy, and keep spinning other plates.

You don't need to "fix" anything. Give it a few days, and she'll be jumping all over you. (as long as you don't make her feel like a slvt).