"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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How to play this?

hansol

Senior Don Juan
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Hey guys,

Not feeling 100% switched-on this morning when it comes to game, so wanted to defer to the experts. One of my plates I’ve been seeing hit me with this crap last night. Back story is we have been seeing each other for the last 3 months, one issue is that she likes to try and talk down to me because I’m so confident; generally I just ignore it and pat her on the head, as to me it’s like getting upset at an 8 year old. But finally the other night she said some pretty mean **** intentionally, and I finally blew up at her and put her in her place. Long story short, this went down on Wednesday and I haven’t talked to her since.

Last night she texts me from out of the blue (I genuinely wasn’t expecting to hear back from her ever.) Basically she says hi, some generic fluff talk, I said I would head over in a bit (I don’t ask to come over, I just assume an open invitation.) She says “No thanks, not tonight.” I laugh and say “You just texted me to say hi?” She says “guess so.” I respond with “It’s cool. I’m still not all that impressed with you anyway.” Then the following happens:

Girl: “Ok…” “Why?”
Me: Oh ya know
Girl: No
Me: Anyway, good talk. Have a great night.
Girl: *angry face emoticon*
Girl: I think
Girl: Lets get some space
Girl: Maybe talk in the new year
Girl: Ya?
Me: (I don’t do or say anything, just ignore it. I really don’t give a crap once the “space” speech comes up)
Girl: I’ll take that as a yes.

I go the rest of the night without replying. Woke up this morning with “Hey sorry was out last night. Sure sounds good. Have a great trip.” Again, not really expecting to hear anything back, she follows with “Or maybe that isn’t necessary at all.” Here’s where I’m unsure.

First, I think this means one of two things. Either she regrets her “space” comments, or she wants to “permanently” end it but wants me to grovel and pry it out of her. So I’m considering two things. Either just ignoring it some more until she gets in touch again, or instead replying with “Whatever you think babe” and seeing where she goes with it. (She sent this about an hour ago and I haven’t responded.)

But like I said, I’m not feeling switched-on at the moment, so figured I’d see what you gentlemen thought. Maybe there’s an angle here I’m missing or something.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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AgentSmith

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Go into no contact mode. If you don't want her back then stay in it permanantly, if you do then use it and make her miss you. I'm sure your fimiliar with how it works. If you choose this route do not break down and break the no contact after a few days or even a week. Follow it
 

hansol

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Quick update: another text "I think we can agree this isn't working."

Guess that answers my speculation haha.
 

Harry Wilmington

Master Don Juan
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So, at this point... don't respond back. Women go crazy when they send you a message and you don't hit them back. Even if it's true that she doesn't want to see you, not responding to her message will usually make her sit there for a few days and stew about whether or not she really wants to break it off.

But, more importantly, this demonstrates yet again why texting KILLS relationships. Granted, what she said to you in person wasn't helpful either, but this issue could have been handled quicker with a phone call. Furthermore, without facial expressions or vocal inflections to read had these words been spoken vs. texted, it makes the convo come across with less emotion than both of you are probably feeling.

Anyway... so yeah, leave it alone for now, and see if she reaches out to you. My guess is when she's wanting some more D, she'll come on back.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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hansol

Senior Don Juan
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Well shoot, given Harry's post it looks like I made an error. When in doubt, I usually resort to "what would Han Solo do?" and that's what I did here. Waited another couple hours and responded "Whatever you think babe. Thanks for the thrills." Her response fifteen min later: "And thanks for being so rudely flippant. Byebye." And that's where things are now.

But oh well, I'm okay with everything. Ill just leave everything be and see how it plays out. Not crossing my fingers but we all know how chicks can be when you're indifferent to them.
 

hansol

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Well guys, another update. She deleted me off bbm about 5 hours later. That has been our sole way of communicating when we weren't face to face, so I don't really have any way of contacting her or vice versa now. Well not true, I have her phone number and email and all that crap and I'll be damned if I contact her that way, but I don't think she has my details. I never really thought about it before, but I guess that would make it hard for her to contact me.

I thought I would be indifferent or impartial to all of this. I mean the girl did treat me poorly and take me for granted and the rational side of me knows this chick is bad for me. But for whatever reason I had a really adverse gut reaction to seeing her disappear from my contact list. I feel like crap. I also feel like a little ***** for whining on here, but maybe it's cathartic getting this **** out rather than keeping it all in and overanalysing.

Anyway, just weird that I'm taking her actually disappearing harder than I thought I would. Up til then, I was in good spirits and fine with seeing everything in my rearview mirror so to speak. Emotions are bull**** sometimes haha.
 

JulieWatson31

Don Juan
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Maybe just throw her a loop? Make her spin.

Text "Wow I am laughing a lot now.You are really a special girl. In fact you are one in a million. For sure! LOL"

She may take it literally and be flattered rather than udt the sarcasm.

Then you are back on track for more thrills.

It has worked well for me in the past and you have nothing to lose.
 
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