"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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How to play her?

AndyW

Don Juan
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HI,

new here...wanted to ask a bit of advice...here's some background

Known this girl for almost a year (i know what you're already thinking... "A YEAR?!?!?")

However because we have different groups of friends i only actually get to see her about once every 3 months!! The first 6
months of this time i was seeing someone, and then the 3 months after that ended, SHE was seeing someone. So there has only really been a few months where we have both been single!

Anyway we've always got on really well - a lot of banter between us (chemistry) and its fairly obvious that it's flirty.

There has always been a bit of playful kino between us - just gentle hitting and stuff whilst teasing - you know the stuff.

A few months ago we were at the pub with a group of mutual friends, and i needed someone to text me at the weekend to remind me about something...i looked to all my friends who all have my number already, but instead this girl jumps in and says "i'll do it", grabs my phone, puts her number in, and calls her phone.

I obviously take this as a good sign - she wants me to have her number.

So a few days later i test the water with a bit of C+F texting...and she seems to enjoy it, so i ask her when she is gonna be available to go out for a drink. Her reply "Whenever!!!!", which again i take as a good thing. So i specify a day, and she then says "oooh i kinda maybe already have a sort of date that day, sorry hun". I take this as a knock back, and tell her maybe some other time then, and i leave it at that.

I don't see her for 3 months, and pretty much forget about her, even tho we send a couple of texts now and then.

An example of some of these C+F texts:

me - so you coming out to the pub on Friday then?
her - im going out with my flatmates on Friday so i wont be able to make it...but il definately see you soon!
me - s'ok i didn't wanna see you anyway :p
her - me neither, you going is what put me off...can't stand your company...you're so boring (hee hee hee)
me - no seriously, i meant to send it to another girl in my phone with your name! When you took a few hours to reply i figured i'd got away with it!!
her - Oi Cheeky!!
me - You love it really...


There is plenty of good banter like this between us.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago, and i hadn't seen her for 3 months...went out into town and saw one of our mutual friends, who said she'd be down shortly. I went up to my buddies, and we sat drinking, and suddenly this girl appeared...she had come
up AS SOON as she got to the bar, leaving her friends downstairs. She didnt even have a drink yet. She came up and started the banter between us immediately, hitting me playfully and saying "ah you missed me really i know you did"

She goes back downstairs, and eventually we go to leave so i pop down to see what her plans are. Whilst talking, her friend
says to me "sorry i don't even know who you are....OOOohhhh, are YOU Andy??"

Her friend has never met me before, so i have no idea why she would know my name unless i've been talked about!

Its a tricky situation for me - i hardly ever get to see her, but when i do there is this massive chemistry between us. But the one time i have asked her for drinks, i've felt like she has knocked me back! My female friends says she was just playing it hard to get, and that its obvious she is into me!

The other signs are obviously good (the phone number thing, the friend knowing my name, the banter, etc).

I don't think i am too far into the 'friends zone' yet because i get to see her so rarely, so i think there is still the chemistry there as there was originally.

I should also add that during this time i have been out meeting and dating other women. But this one is always one who gets
me fired up when i see her. Looks - 8, personality - 9, so she is a really tough case!!

Any thoughts?

Cheers

Andy

ps - GREAT site...just found it recently and been readigng over all the interesting posts!
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Deadly_Assassin

Master Don Juan
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u wanna play her?

dont put ur emotions on the line, in other words u dont have feelings for her but u make her think that u do. You do it for your own gratification and ego. Just take her for a ride. "Never fall in love with a hoe". If you have that attitude your actions will follow and she will always see you as a challenge.
 

Deadly_Assassin

Master Don Juan
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but i am no expert btw, just my 2cents
 

romangod

Master Don Juan
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Time to make the move before getting caught in the LJBF zone by acting as an AFC afraid to make the move. Don't put too much into her not being available when you asked her out for drinks. She already had plans and she was honest about it. It wasn't a game.
 

AndyW

Don Juan
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Hi guys,

cheers for the comments.

I don't as such wanna play this girl - i'd actually like to date her (just incase its not blatantly obvious hahaha).

The problem is obviously that i dont get a chance to see her much - guess like you're suggesting, next time i DO see her i have to make a move!

I'm at least happy with myself in that i've been out chasing plenty of other women and getting action elsewhere the whole time i've been interested in her. Just that none of the others have clicked quite as well as things do with her!
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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