How to pick up that cute girl at the bar.

[00Kevin]

I found this on the net.

Ok.. So you're out for the night with your buddies bar hopping. You're having a grand jolly old time right? Of course how could you not be you're all ****in' trashed! You decide to go to one last bar so you all saddle up and head out. When you get to the bar right away you notice that one girl sitting at the corner of the bar. That girl that makes your woody jump out of your pants and say "put me in her". There is one problem though. She is way out of your league... or is she not? There is a way to get any girl you want at a bar and we are going to tell you how.

I'm guessing since you're reading this you are a complete ****ing idiot with girls, so you're going to need all the help you can get. The first thing you need to do is sit down at the bar, not too close, but not too far away from the girl that you wanna take home that night. Make sure you are in direct view of her so she can see you too. Believe it or not girls like to be approached and taken charge of. Now I bet you're expecting me to say "Buy her a drink" NO! never buy any woman anything.. They don't deserve it unless you are sure they are going to put out. What you need to do is order a beer and start staring at the girl, not glancing, staring. After a while she is going to notice you staring at her and make direct eye contact with you. After this you can consider yourself good as gold and you are gonna get laid that night.

Now that she has noticed you it is time to make your attack. She has a guy with her? WHO CARES! He's probably a prick with a little **** anyway. Now when you walk up to her there are a couple things you can say or do. Now remember, there is a slight chance (most likely a big chance if you're drunk) that when you get up to the girl she's not going to be as hot as you thought she was from across the room. Don't worry! That's why brown bags were created. In the case that she isn't ugly and is hotter than all hell you need to walk up to her, say hi and throw her a compliment. One of the below might be good to use :

Hi, my name's Joe Bob, you got some really nice fun bags, and I would like to stick my penis in between them.

Hi, I noticed you staring at me from across the room. I just wanted to let you know that if you wanted to **** me tonight I'm ok with that. I like giving girls like you a chance with a guy like me once in a while.

Hi, I noticed you caught me staring at you. I just wanted to say I'm really sorry. Your tits are just way to big for me not to stare at. Think I could see them later tonight bouncing in my face?

Any of these lines can get you any girl at a bar. You think they sound offensive? You're wrong. Girls like being offended and taken advantage of, it's what they were put on this earth for.

After you give her one of these pick up lines she's pretty much already yours for the night. Although I suggest sealing the deal with a few more little tricks I know. When you're sitting by her make sure you get as many cheap feels as you can on her. This is going to let her know that all you want to do tonight is bang her brains out. It's not that you like her personality, cause god knows she's boring as ****. It's that you like her ass, and her boobs, and you want to see her naked on top of you. Also when she's talking to you make sure you don't pay any attention to her. Just say things like, Ya, Uh-huh, ok, of course. This will make her think you're paying attention and that you actually have an interest in her. The last thing you could do that will make it 100% that this girl is going home with you is this. When you are sitting next to her pull out your chubby (you know you'll have one you drunk horny ****). Grab her by the back of the head, make her look at your penis and let her know that you are ready to put it down her throat. After that she won't be able to resist you. You can then go back to your apartment, bang her for hours and then drop her off at the bus stop so she can get home. Don't give her money for the bus. You did her a favor by railing her so hard. She should be paying you for taking her to the bus stop.

I hope this helped. God knows it works for me all the time. If it doesn't work for you then you are just a complete ****in stroke and you'll never have a chance in hell of ever hooking up with a girl unless she is a fat slop piece of ****.

A girl would still have to be very attracted to you for something like this to work.

 

[*29*]

Hee hee.

I would like to meet this guy.

 

[PeeGee]

Field tested?

 

[quest]

Originally posted by 00Kevin
I found this on the net.



A girl would still have to be very attracted to you for something like this to work.

that has no chance of working on any girl with any self respect, i don't care how good looking u are..
the staring bit is a good idea. opening line, weak as hell.

 

[Trance]

This is pretty much trash. Girls like being offended/taken charge off but NEVER in an opening line for christ sake ROTFL. Had fun reading it tough.

 

[catch]

he must be a very fuuny man, with a ton of experience

 

[Paradox]

This is crap. I don't believe a word of it. This is much too aggressive, forward and sexually explicit for an opening line.

Like Trance and quest have stated no self respecting woman would jump at this approach, although we would want a woman to react to this. They just don't go for this.

 

[MrCode]

I'm about 99.99999% sure this is a joke guys.

It is funny how we will still try to analyze some crazy bullsh*t just because someone scraped it off the web somewhere.

 

[the_ajp]

I'll go field test it saturday and show you photo's of the bruises I contract

 

[00Kevin]

Hi, I noticed you caught me staring at you. I just wanted to say I'm really sorry. Your tits are just way to big for me not to stare at. Think I could see them later tonight bouncing in my face?

I think I could get away with this one, but that is it.


This guy had another post about how to get anal sex out of a girl. I would post it but there has been too many anal threads lately.

 

[Microphone Fiend]

i think a couple of em could work. The only reason you guys are rejecting it is because of your limiting beliefs. There's guys over at FS asking a girl does her fart stink and getting laid. It's not WHAT you say but HOW you say it (and deliver)

You can have the best line ever but if you studder and can't look her in the eye you aint goin nowhere. OTOH you could have something that people consider offensive or whatever but with the right mindset and delivery you can draw them into your frame. Frames are powerful. Sometimes I feel like Im talking to kindergardeners here. Do you guys understand anything Im saying?