How to overcome the barrier

[DJHoolahoop]

Hey guys,

I have a question that I'm hoping you can help answer. I had made a plan to ask this girl out, but it didn't quite work out yet as I was told I shouldn't.

It's a friend of a friend of mine and I find her to be funny and fun to hang around. Only, word is that she's been screwed around by a lot of guys and has a awful taste for relationships. They said that she isn't prepared to go through it again and has told them that she likes me a lot, but got upset cuz she don't wanna hurt me.

I didn't actually ask them why she would think that, but oh well. The question is what do I do then? Is it up to me to make the move? Is it just not worth it here? Because I don't know if I'm supposed to be making the move here or what.

On top of that I get mixed up all the time, it's like a DJ shouldn't involve himself in girls who do this sort of thing and yet most girls ARE ****ed around by lots of guys and have problems being able to trust them. So like what do I do here?

 

[dearsappho]

Do it...but be aware of the consequences should things go awry.

 

[seize_the_pattern]

DJing is not about abusing, but having zero tolerance for emotional bvllshyte.

Its also about not being attached to a particular situation women can smell this from miles away, yet you want to be focused on achievement in the grand scheme.

This requires exercising to build you a life system from the ground up.

We can help eachother and make stuff happen, and my thread on the DYD advanced series discussion is supposed to be a good example of this.

Damn, maybe I should copy this and reply this over and over again,

this is even better than saying to stop biatching, it has option in it

I RULE lol

cheers,

 

[DJHoolahoop]

I'm saying that i don't know what to do... my friend is saying i shouldn't ask her out and all that yet because she aint ready. and i'm saying that she can really NEVER be ready. she could be like that for longer than i'm willing to bother waiting for.

i'm not impatient, i just don't wanna wait around for something that aint gonna happen or that's not gonna be worth my time. but i'm not exactly sure why everyone's so EAGER to next girls so quickly.

so should i hold up for a bit? or should i try to get her to hang out with me so we can get to know each other and take it from there?

I feel it's the latter, but my friend is telling me that i should hold off from doing that for the time being.

 

[SchuhSohle]

It sounds like a bad case of oneitis ...
maybe tell more about the situation if you think that is not the case.

How many people do you know? It that your only option?
Do you talk with that girl or only about her?
Why can't she tell you directly what your friend tells you?
It doesn't sound like a situation that can get less complicated.

i'm not impatient, i just don't wanna wait around for something that aint gonna happen or that's not gonna be worth my time. but i'm not exactly sure why everyone's so EAGER to next girls so quickly.

Weird ... you said it yourself. Kinda answered your own question there.
You shouldn't be patient at all. Why do people here next girls so often?
Because that one option that you maybe have there isn't worth much.
Waiting for things to change is probably a waste of time.

How about moving on and giving her the option to join you if she wants?

Maybe don't ask for a date.
Offer to spend some time with her so she can get to know you better.
In any case you should try to find out what exactly the deal is.

 

[flexion_]

First... don't listen to rumours. Find out for yourself - go talk to her and if you like her ask her out on a date and go from there.

Its not your responsibility to try and fix her previous bad relationships - if you meet her with that attitude you will become her emotional tampon and as a result become her chump.

Don't start analyse or form up a long drawn out plan in your mind based on "what'ifs". Its sounds like you are already dating her and you haven't even asked her out.

 

[DJHoolahoop]

LOL ok guys it's all cool, but this has nothing to do with oneitis syndrome.

I'll admit that in the mean time I haven't been able to work up anything else, but that doesn't mean I'm not going for it if someone else comes along.

SchuhSohle, I like what you said and I'm gonna take that route.

I don't know bout you guys, but ever since I joined ss.net I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing right or wrong, so I ask you guys for help. Nothing to do about me sitting here thinking about the whole thing, I've done that sort of thign in the past and it's just frustrating and wasteful.