How to overcome guilt?

[alex_sko]

Hi all,

I am in my early 20s and new to DJing in general and just got an overview of the terminology.

All in all I seem to have supreme natural game. Pretty much every girl I approach wants to go out with me. But every time I feel like it is time to go in for the kiss or make physical contact, I feel guilty. (I am a virgin and have not even kissed a girl up to this date.)

Just recently I met this stunning girl whom I'd love to have a relationship with and on our 3rd date took her to her doorstep. No kissing or close physical contact except hugging up to that point. Nevertheless she wore an extremely tiny and alluring mini skirt in the midst of the winter and asked me whether I would be able to fall asleep that night (we drank some coffee and I am highly sensitive to caffeine) and whether I had further plans for the evening.

I answered that I would be ok and that I did not have any further plans that night, gave her a hug, wished her good night and disappeared.

I do and did know that this was as massive an IOI as it gets....

Please help me overcome my guilt. It is not that I fear rejection. It is just that I want a relationship and treat her right. On a conscious level I do know that women want to have sex just as much as men (provided they fancy you). I just cannot bring my unconscious self to accept that fact. What am I supposed to do?

Thanks for any suggestions.

 

[st_99]

Hi all,

have supreme natural game.

(I am a virgin and have not even kissed a girl up to this date.)

:kick:

 

[yomismo]

Bro, you ok ? Have you read your text before submitting ?
About your DJing skills...keep reading and practicing the field, you will get sooo much better...
Oh and by the way, she was expecting something more than just a hug...

 

[AAAgent]

I was exactly like you but you will realize the longer and longer you prolong making a move the more she will likely she will cast you aside and look for someone else. Hugging is not enough unless its the first night you met her and got her number then.

I'd say minimum atleast a kiss on the lips or even on the cheek and just kick it up one notch each date.

I forced myself to make a move on this girl even though i didn't want to treat her like a slut (i used to think back then you shouldn't kiss or do anything on first date).

You won't feel like she's a slut if you progress things properly.

i did these in order

1st meeting hug (got her number)

first date walked her to her house after dropping her off and another hug (the circumstances didn't warrant me to make a move. I was seeing 2 girls before her and didn't want to come on too strong or a player).

2nd date- grabbed her hand and gave her a peck on the cheek and ran away.

3rd date- kiss & attempt to reach second base (rejected)

4th date - kiss, 2nd base

5th date - ask her out

the rest is history i think i slowly progressed it to hype it up for myself and her. she wanted it so bad by the time i gave it to her everything just fell into place. This took place over 2 weeks time and the dates were like every other or 3 day gaps. At your age you probably want to make a move each date starting with a peck on the cheek or lips on first date and by date 6 f-closing.

I did that in my teens and honestly as someone in their early 20's as well....most girls will want you to f close within first 3 dates and they definitely expect atleast a kiss on the first, minimum. Circumstances permitting you may need to take it slow but its never your job to try to make the girl not feel like a slvt its her job to prove to you she's not a slvt. The girl who makes me go about the long way of progressing step by step not only makes me more interested but it makes the relationship a lot more exciting and makes me respect her more as i can tell she respects herself.

 

[alex_sko]

@st_99
I appreciate the humor and stand corrected.
Let us just say that I have an aura of supreme confidence that girls are naturally drawn to.

@AAAgent
Thanks for the detailed advice.
>most girls will want you to f close within first 3 dates
Do you also have a corresponding progression for this?

Maybe I will meet this girl again. If so, how should I proceed?

Once again many thanks for any responses.

 

[AAAgent]

I'm not going to tell you what to do but I am going to tell you that you HAVE to make a move.

atleast a kiss at this point as i said earlier and don't wait till the end of the night if you can help it. Whenever you see a moment where there's silence and she's looking at you speechless just go in for it. If she invites you up at the end of the night then further escalate. I usually try things twice possibly 3 times depending on how bad her rejection is (I.E. her moving my hands away from her thighs twice quickly and i will stop that and try again next date, however if she lets me do it for a while then stop, i will continue and usually break through the barrier.)

She is expecting you as a man to make the move. Make the move. Keep repeating that to yourself over and over again. I used to do that and eventually it would work.

 

[backseatjuan]

Don't be afraid of new feelings and experiences. But only with women!

 

[Bible_Belt]

Please help me overcome my guilt.

Try to find the source of your guilt. Usually it is emotional abuse from parental figures during one's childhood. Guilt can also come from prior physical or sexual abuse. Sometimes a traumatic memory can be blocked out, but the guilt still remains.

Keep in mind that finding the source if the guilt, which I'm guessing is something that is not your fault at all, is in no way meant to be used as an excuse for making poor decisions and not learning from those mistakes. You can still control the choices you make.

 

[AAAgent]

I believe the OP isn't actually referring to the term guilty correctly in this instance but i may be wrong as I'm going off of my experience.

I believe the OP means that he is afraid(not guilty) of making moves on women because he probably has anxiety and also because society has probably brain washed him into giving every girl the fairy tale ending. Therefor by going for what you want which is ultimately s3x and showing it right away is making the girl feel slutty which make the op feel bad as he isn't supposed to do that. I see the OP as putting women on pedastools which he needs to stop.

I was actually still the same way but I just try a lot harder to see reality.

The first time a girl asked if I wanted to go look at her room, i was REALLY DISAPPOINTED. I really like the chase and also i keep thinking in my head, if she invited me up here on the first date how many other guys did she invite up on the first date.

I got out of my fairy tale world since then and realized girls are just human. You're first is not going to be your last and your last girl is not going to be your first. The same goes for women and men. Just go after what you want from the girl your dating but be respectful at the same time. If you sleep with her on the first two dates and don't treat her like a slvt and she doesn't feel like one, you have nothing to feel guilty about. Your there to have fun and hopefully share that fun with her. when it stops being fun that's when you two part.