How to not cheat on girls!

[Beethoven]

Well I'm in a bit of a dilemma, and I'm possibly going to be 'cheating' on some girls, but I don't really want to. Let me explain that...

Probably the first thing to note is that I'm British, and over in the UK, I generally find girls don't tend to want to 'date' non-exclusively, they just want to go out with boyfriends. I'm not into ONS's, I like to build up some friendship with the girls I'm with.

But I don't actually want to go out exclusively with a girl at the moment, I'd rather just have fun with different girls that come along for a while. I've spent time with a few girls, but as soon as they find out I don't wanna be their boyfriend, they disappear real quick. That's not what I want, I want them to hang around, just to not be exclusive.

The only way I can see to get this to happen is if I pretend to be exclusive with them, and just don't tell them about any other girls I'm seeing. But I would feel bad about that, and it's dangerous as well.

Can anyone offer some insight into what I should do to get what I want, without having to hide multiple 'girlfriends' from each other? I guess I could move to America so I can pick up your non-exclusive dating girls, but that's a bit drastic. All advice appreciated!!

 

[A.J. Stanson]

If they're interest level is high enough, they'll keep going out with you regardless of whether you're seeing other women. The best way is to just be open about the fact that you see other women, but also say that you'd like settle down one day. Make her want to be the one to settle you down.

I personally think this applies in the U.S. and U.K.

 

[Beethoven]

Yeah, I get what you say about them having high enough IL, and they won't care. Trouble is, I think a lot of the IL comes from them thinking they'll have a great boyfriend, and as soon as they find out that I'm just another guy who won't be theirs and theirs alone, that'll cause the IL to plunge straight away.

The thing is, there's three girls just now who I've been working on for ages to build up the IL, and now it's high in each case. It seems like such a waste just to have to throw two thirds of that work away...

I guess I'm just selfish... Typical human attitude.

 

[ryanvalmont]

I hear ya beethoven,i just pretend to be falling for them to get what i want from them.

but if it happens i like em...well that's another story!

 

[Beethoven]

Maybe I just need to change the way I tell them. I told the last few girls 'I don't want a relationship, but I enjoy doing the physical stuff', which sounds kinda bad.

Maybe next time I should put it in their terms and say 'I told you I'm not looking for a serious relationship [I did do that!], so I don't mind if you date other guys as well', and that would be more subtle...

Yeah, I guess I'll probably try that. Has anyone had any experience with this kind of thing?

 

[Beethoven]

Update

Well I met up with one of them for the first time last night. Damn, she was was gorgeous. But combining the fact I felt bad about what I was doing, plus the fact that I'm still not entirely confident round gorgeous chicks, I was way too tense to relax and chat/smile properly. So basically I screwed it up somewhat.

Damn.

Come on guys, I really need some help here... Questions like:

1) You guys who mess loads of women around, lie to them etc without any conscience problem at all, how do you do that?!
2) Is it unfair of them for them to expect me to be exclusive before they're willing to go on? They just assume they WILL be exclusive, so for me to explicitly say they won't turns them off.

Aggh. I'm just pissed off at myself. Ah well, I suppose the bright side is that I'm becoming DJ enough that I have multiple women to worry about, in the past I didn't have enough women to give me this problem.

Come on you DJs, you posted loads of replies to that girl's 'sex fanstasies' thread, I bet you're smart enough to help me solve this problem! Even if you just say 'date one at a time'.