How to not be standoffish/get girls to feel comfortable?

[Rhino22]

Ok, so I go to this pub last night with my brother and his friend. We sit at a table. The waitress was pretty cute, but wouldn't really even make direct eye contact when she would bring our beers. SHe was quick and short with us. I have been told that I am good lookin and that I could get pu$$y anytime I wanted. That is by my guy friends. Then I am told by a hb7 that I went on 4 dates with that I make her nervous because I am "very attractive." She tellls me had she seen me on the stree she would have noticed me but would have been way too scared to get caught looking at me or whatever. So, was this waitress intimidated or something?

I did notice later on that when she wasn't by our table but walking by the kitchen I locked eye contact, kind of smiled and did not let go. She did the same and then finally looked away and turned the corner.

Then when we left she said have a good night guys and looked at my brother and friend but walked right by me and gave a second glance. Ok, so gut feeling maybe tells me she thought I was attractive but too scared to try to talk to me? Honestly I didn't know waht to say to her either. I thought about walking up to her while we were leaving and just saying somethin like, "Hey I find you attractive, What's your number?"

 

[Iceberg]

I did notice later on that when she wasn't by our table but walking by the kitchen I locked eye contact, kind of smiled and did not let go. She did the same and then finally looked away and turned the corner.

Then when we left she said have a good night guys and looked at my brother and friend but walked right by me and gave a second glance. Ok, so gut feeling maybe tells me she thought I was attractive but too scared to try to talk to me? Honestly I didn't know waht to say to her either. I thought about walking up to her while we were leaving and just saying somethin like, "Hey I find you attractive, What's your number?"

Well, your problem seems to be that you expect women to approach you. Like, how did you envision this girl coming "to try to talk to you"? Did you think she was gonna slap you on the arse and slide her phone # in your pocket? Of course not.

If you think a woman likes you, you gotta make the approach. It doesn't matter how good looking you are, if you're an "8" in a woman's mind, then you'll go down to a "6" when you don't approach her. There's no greater turnoff than fear.

First step to getting them not to be standoffish...smile, say hello, and make some nonsense comment about your surroundings. You could have said, "Busy night?" to this waitress, and for all you know it turns into a 15 minute convo with a # close.

Stop expecting them to approach. You're attractive? Great...use it to your advantage. I'm good-looking too, so I know (assume) that women will bite on any convo that I throw at them. Nobody's perfect...so even if you're nervous, all you gotta do is say some friendly things, flash that pretty smile, and the girls will find an excuse to like you.

 

[TheCzar]

You have to learn how to exude a warm and personable, approachable persona. I'm very similar, have had women tell me over and over again that I'm eye-candy, yet couldn't figure out for the life of me why I was having a hard time making contact - then a friend of mine told me to relax and act like everyone is an old friend, once I integrated that everything changed.


TC

 

[alwayslead8821]

then a friend of mine told me to relax and act like everyone is an old friend, once I integrated that everything changed.


TC

That is good advice your friend gave you, I like it. This also applys a lot to other people to (not just girls). I always treat the bartender like an old friend and build some social value...

 

[Bobby Rio]

Hey, here is PDF with some solid advice on what to say to girls...

http://www.tsbmag.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/How-to-Keep-a-Conversation-Going.pdf

It will shed some light on what kind of conversation they find attractive and how to keep the conversation going.