How to not be self-concious in school.

[MrP]

I feel like I'm three people sometimes... There's the confident, partying, alpha man,, the completely boring guy who has nothing to say,, and the insecure, depressed, anxious, piece of crap...

I want to be the first one all of the time, but it seems like I'm only "on", during certain situations. When I'm with friends, I have a lot of fun, but a lot of the time, I'm lost. I have no idea what to say, my mind goes blank, and I lose all confidence temporarily. The funny thing is that this only happens in school...
Anywhere else, I'm the sh!t.

Anybody have any advice?

 

[Relations]

Sounds just like me. I try not to worry about it, I'll eventually grow out of it and so will you.

 

[eaglez1177]

Well, it probably happens to you in school because your around so many other people that your not comfortable with. Yea obviously it wont happen to you outside of school, because usually your hanging out with your friends.

In school your surrounded by the entire real world of people, not solely the select group of friends that your comfortable with. When everyone else is around, people that arent your friends, people youve never met, etc, you feel uncomfortable, which is why you're experiencing those "boring, quiet, insecure, anxious" moods (being depressed isnt really the correct word, thats very serious and requires medical help lol. And its really two different moods not three. The alpha, and not the alpha).

My advice: Its just a matter of inner change. A lot of the time, you say you are "lost", and you revert back to your "old self" (the non-alpha afc). You say your only an alpha at certain times. Well, being that "alpha" at certain times is no good. Why? Because its not who you truly are. You have to be an alpha ALL THE TIME to truly be one, not be fake and have that "alpha-cover" sometimes.

It seems your biggest problem is comfort, so lets start there. Break out of your damn comfort zone! Doing uncomfortable things more often is the only way to expand your comfort zone! Why? Because as you do them more and more you become more comfortable. Ex: As you try and get more and more numbers from chicks you dont know or talk to more and more girls you've never met, the more and more comfortable you will become with doing the previously "uncomfortable" (getting numbers from girls and talkin to girls youve never met). Get it? Hope that helps.

 

[Cockynfunny]

I had that trouble. They key for me was reading the Book of Pook, because after reading it I realised that in order to enjoy your life to fullest you have to be percieved by everyone for who you really are.

The only reason why you feel anxious, uncomfortale, stressy is because of the conflict going on in your head between you demands and capabilities.

You said yourself, you have the ****y guy, the quite guy an the anxious one.

You have fun with your friends, they like you for who you are - the fun ****y and confiedent guy.

So just give other people the gift of honesty and show them your true self instead. The funny thing is that you will please more people by not trying to please them and being trully who you are.