How to 'next' her without destroying future opportunity?

[Maestro Monk]

Alright all, here's the deal..have known this HB9 at work for a couple of years, during which we occasionally talked at work, or in the lunchroom. I felt that she had generated subtle hints of interest lately, by listening to what she said ("I had no one to go with"), etc.

Anywho, invited her on an action date with my buddies and your's truly. She replied with a big smile, and a "maybe", saying she had never done this before..got her digits, called her cell twice; no answer, left msg third time..no response.

She approaches me at work on weekend (day of planned date), and says she tried calling me at home, obviously with no luck. she may or may not have been BSing me; she said her cousins were coming over for the weekend. When i asked what they were doing, she replied with "we're going clubbing" (thanks for inviting me B!otch!), then she gave me the KO by saying "talk to ya later", leaving me standing there stunned. anywho, havn't talked to her since then, except for saying hi.. was wondering if i should intentionally ignore her, and avoid all conversation? Or, how can i keep any possible future opportunity open, while still playin it respectfully? Naturally, if this were to ever occur, she would have to work extremely hard to convince me she is for real..

 

[izza]

Continue being friends with her, but she's a LJBF now - she has shown many signs of low interest. Nexting her is a decision you make in your head to move on and not worry about her romantically anymore. Nexting her doesn't mean, however, that you should be bitter or stop talking altogether if you enjoy her company.

Just know that her actions make it fairly clear that she's not interested enough to be worth your precious romantic time (I know you already know, but reminders never hurt too much). You'll find better.

Izza

P.S. What do you mean by "future opportunity?" Nexting her precludes any future romantic opportunity (but not opportunity to be friends) - and indeed you should drop this girl and not think about her again except as a friend. Is that extreme? Well, you can't worry about future opportunities - you must protect your heart, as Anti-Dump says, and drop this girl right now. She has low interest. Screw future romantic opportunities, NEXT! Befriend her if you like, but do it with no hopes attached.

Izza

 

[belividere]

what was the frequency of your calls?

 

[Maestro Monk]

I'm just thinking it might be better if i break off our friendship. If we were to remain "acquaintances", I would probably seem more AFC-like over time, and become confused myself over whether or not I still want her. just some food for thought