"The Kiss of Death Mistake"
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
how to make them look at me?
- Thread starter gasoline
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
WalkingStick
Senior Don Juan
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There are infinite ways to get them to look at you, but most of them will probably make you look crazy. You could try something basic like "Hi", though it may be awkward without eye contact. I would try opening with a question, you could try turning the question into a clever line or just leave it a normal question.
Another thing that you will constantly hear people say is not to desperately look for girls. Girls want a guy that they have to catch not one who is trying to force attention, it's the old knowledge "We chase that which retreats from us" If they think you're desperate for their attention, theyre likely ignoring you. It also might just be that "the street" is not the best place to approach women. Most of them won't exactly stop in the middle of the sidewalk to flirt.
Hope this helps, and if not, good luck.
yes i think i act too eager to make them look at me
btw if the street is not the best place what is the best place for this "eye contact" thing
WalkingStick
Senior Don Juan
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If eye contact is your goal, you should be able to get it just about anywhere. Eventually though, you'll want conversations. I don't have near enough experience to try to help you out with that.
As a side note, you could always practice non-threatening eye contact on people you aren't attracted to (elderly, relatives, kids, friends). I actually find it fun to stare down little kids, they'll hold contact for longer than you might think:crackup:
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LOL
I can maitain eye contact easily - i dont need to practice
but to start a conversation I need them to look at me first, otherwise I just cant approach the girl
and i need those hot tall fashionable girls to look at me not average chicks(i get eye contact from average looking girls more often)
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
WalkingStick
Senior Don Juan
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that's all I got.
Don't worry about eye contact. Seriously. When I was new I worried about it too. People misenterpret eye contact. Is is important WHEN YOU ARE TALKING TO HER. Beforehand it is irrelevant. Don't worry about getting her to look at you, walk up at talk to her! She will be looking at you then.
Girls don't check out guys like we check out girls. It's not in their nature. Eye contact before initiating conversation at all. She will be pleased that a cool guy (you) pops out of nowhere and starts talking to her.
Crazy Asian
Master Don Juan
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i know wut ur talking about.
i wouldn't worry bout it too much.
DarthAngel707
Don Juan
My glance sometimes falls on old men, old grandmas, young girls, babies, Does that mean I'm sexually attracted to them?
Sorry, many people have an ego boost when young girls look at them, but sometimes its really you happened to be in their view.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
uh thanks a lot your comment gave me a whole new confidence and point of viewSinJester said:No, just no. You shouldn't be asking this
Don't worry about eye contact. Seriously. When I was new I worried about it too. People misenterpret eye contact. Is is important WHEN YOU ARE TALKING TO HER. Beforehand it is irrelevant. Don't worry about getting her to look at you, walk up at talk to her! She will be looking at you then.
Girls don't check out guys like we check out girls. It's not in their nature. Eye contact before initiating conversation at all. She will be pleased that a cool guy (you) pops out of nowhere and starts talking to her.
and yes I think its thei nature to not check out guys directly
but i sometimes see them cheking out other guys and flirting with them so why i cant be one of those guys?? i feel jealouse- no problem
here is the problem: it is their nature to not look at guys like we do, and be hard to get [BUT they will be pleased that a cool guy (me) pop out of nowhere and start talking to her]
what the **** will happen if i approach them and they respond disintrested?? oh I'll die
thanks alot, I .love your post been reading it about ten times=)
yes it means, if you look at it deep down you'll understand itDarthAngel707 said:
girls go out wearing makeup and dressing nice, with the idea of getting checked out
they go out with their friends laughing and having fun with eachother
they'll get lots attention from guys that they dont need to be checked out anymore
IF you check them out and try to make eye contact with them they'll think "I am the supermodel" and will never look at you OR will immediately look away(in a bad way) AND if you dont look at them, they wont look at you
after all they wont look at you
but i dont know what do some guys do that all the girls always check them out
It's all in your head buddy. You just think you see them checking out other guys because you are looking for it. It's how our minds work. But here is something powerfull: Even if you aren't the one getting checked out, you are going to be the one getting the girl if you are doing the approaching not the other guy.
Try to stop your current line of thinking. You aren't competing with other guys. A DJ isn't worrying about other guys at all, he is too busy for that. He is confident that even if his girl is talking to other guys she is still going to come back to him. If you believe that, the girl will but into that and start to believe you as well. You need to think like that.
Haha your really worried about that? You know what you do to fix this? You keep approaching untill you get responded with disinterest enough times so that you don't care anymore! Seriously you need to get over this if you want to be successful at approaching women. It's not a big deal.
Philbert
Guest
it was a fantastic dating advice that you shared with us.
Thanks a lot!
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Craig Reeves
Master Don Juan
SinJester said:No, just no. You shouldn't be asking this
Don't worry about eye contact. Seriously. When I was new I worried about it too. People misenterpret eye contact. Is is important WHEN YOU ARE TALKING TO HER. Beforehand it is irrelevant. Don't worry about getting her to look at you, walk up at talk to her! She will be looking at you then.
Girls don't check out guys like we check out girls. It's not in their nature. Eye contact before initiating conversation at all. She will be pleased that a cool guy (you) pops out of nowhere and starts talking to her.
Amen....
Seriously though in the daytime especially wear stuff that not many guys wear.I mean I even wore this blue adidas shirt(looks like greece jersey) and it stood out alot.Its not even that bright of a colour but hell,too many guys just wear white or black these days.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.