"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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How to make people relax around me.

david90

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What is a good way to make people I just met feel at ease when talking to me? Compliment?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

quest

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make them laugh
 

i1t4yomindi

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I've heard that the way you act is contageous. That is, if you're enthusiatic and hyped up, your attitude will influence others in getting pumped up. So if you want people be feel relaxed around you, my suggestion would be to be relaxed yourself. Act laid-back and talk in a soft, "ahhh this is paradise" kind of a chill voice.
 

jakeyboy

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always smile and try to crack some jokes (that you know are funny) talk to everyone.. even that ugly girl whom no one notices.. say hi... dont let people know you're shallow even if you are. they'll end up thinking you aint superficial and will loosen up around you. hope this helps.
 

Titus

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When you are complety relaxed yourself, you will not have to ask that question.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Alpine

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What about mirroring body language to build rapport, then start to lead them into a more relaxed feeling?
 

JasonR

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Yeah, i think what they have all said fits about right, if you are softly spoken and confident in what you say, people will listen to you, and then adopt your mannerisms.
I dont know if the rest of the guys will agree with me on this one, but i think you could even use really light kino to connect with someone, and put them at ease. Nothing too much, but a touch on the shoulder when you tell her something important could help her feel more binded to you, and therefore more relaxed.
 
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