How to make new friends, girls or guys

[Ringleader41]

I don't know if I'd call myself foreveralone.
I get along with people great, don't have problems making friends.
Its just my primary group of friends can be really lame. They never wanna go out and do anything like clubs or even anything in general.


As of late, with it being summer and not in university, I'd like to party more and have fun on weekends but these guys don't often wanna do anything. I don't know what I'd do/how I'd feel going to the club by myself, but I'm at the point where I'm considering it.

My good friend lives 4 hours away and I'm starting a new job Monday, so idk how that's gonna work.

 

[Mr.SomeoneElse]

I've been in the same position countless times.
Back home, my friends are just like that, really dull, completely content with staying inside watching movies all weekend, no goals, awful.

I moved to a new city in the fall this year and had to start fresh.
At first it was rough, but its not a big deal at all!

Look at your schedule day to day and whatever free time you have and go out.
Go out and do some hobbies, like going to the gym, or sports, or whatever.
Ask someone to spot you at the gym, start up conversation.
Go to the beach, try and join a game of beach volleyball or football.
Those are all great innocent ways to meet people.
You can also do more weird things.
I joined focus groups to taste test foods and products (found them on craigslist) They pay you, sometimes $50 for a half hour of sampling stuff and you meet tons of people that way.
I also made friends by going to local events, concerts etc..

There really are tons of ways to meet people, its insane.
I used to think my social circle was really my only access but really, its as big as you want it to be.
Just getting outside and riding the subway/bus will get you a step closer.

I'd say clubs are the hardest way to make FRIENDS.
If you want to start a solid friendship, meet them in less aggressive places like the ones listed above.

 

[Ringleader41]

I think I do need to move to a different city because over here people are so cliqued up that the only way to get in their group is if you drive a nice car or are extremely good looking.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

I can't believe why topics like this one are not more common on the forum. Making friends is the first step to having ANY success with women. It is also the most effective way to meet women.

I completely understand with the friends issue. Sometimes you just get bored with your friends. Especially after school is over. I find that my friends do the same thing over and over again. They're afraid to try new things, which frustrates me to no end. They also have less money than me, so any nice trips together are out of the question. It is all beer and camping. Or a trip to another city close by....for the purposes of getting more beer, not partying.

All cities are not the same when it comes to meeting friends. Some cities are friendlier than others. Some cities do have a very clique-type atmosphere. In Toronto, there is a lot of segregation by race. Go to university here and you will see huge groups of racially divided friends. Various asian groups split up between Chinese, Vietnamese, Korean, etc. White people split up as well. Even Italians split up between two types, the "cakers" and the more "pure" Italians.

In Toronto, you are seen by what your ethnic background is to them. If you are not normally that type of person, you will become that type of person because you will have trouble meeting people outside of your own culture because people are so narrow minded here.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Guys who come to this site and learn a thing or two are likely to find themselves outgrowing their friends very quickly.

Try meetup dot com. There are lots of special interest groups in most areas of the country and they tend to welcome newcomers.

 

[Kenny Powers]

Yeah i have the exact same problem, I like hanging out with my friends and they go to bars with me, but most of them have little to no game. Sounds like we would all be good friends though haha. I really want to meet new people but its tough.

For example the other night a friend of a friend was at a bar with us and he comes over and is like i need a wingman for these girls im talkin to. So of course i happily oblige. At the end of the night I wanted to get his number so we could meet up at a bar in the future to hit on girls, but i felt awkward asking haha (gayest sentence ever).

Tilltheendoftime is right, we do need more posts like this. Its difficult, at least for me, to make new friends that i see on a regular basis. Also, a big social circle is by far the best way to meet a girl. Even if you know the girl through a friend of a friend, it gives you a much better chance of seeing her again than if your just some rando. I meet tons of girls at bars but most that i see again are ones i know through people

 

[JohnChops]

I have this issue but I'm slowly finding myself ways to make new friends. Just being more friendly and talking to everyone is a good start.also use your hobbies to meet new people. I found myself out growing some people but not all my friends.

 

[Britishballer]

Having recently moved to a new city myself I know it might seem tough at first but it's actually quite simple. I join sports clubs as a way of meeting new people. For example I've just joined a rugby club and they have 4 teams, so straight away there's about 60 new potential people with at least one shared interest. Plus sports team (especially rugby in the UK) have a really big social scene with drinks after the game and formal do's too. Also started indoor rock climbing and met some cool people there. But my new favourite is Bikram Yoga! Its amazing! Its basically yoga in a sauna, so you're surrounded by loads of hot sweaty half naked women and I just tell them I'm really inflexible and it was reccomended by a friend. Taking a girl out next week and I've only been to it twice, gold dust!

 

[FairShake]

It's much harder to find friends after the age of 25 or so. Most people have all the friends they can handle and are starting families and careers. So don't fret if it's not easy!

A couple BIG hints I've noticed...

1.) GUYS make friends by doing things together. We play basketball together, drink together, golf together, work on cars or computers together, etc. Most guys I know found their boys through mutual interests.

It really helps if you have one or more interests that other guys have. I play guitar and bass and jam with people once in awhile. I play pickup basketball and made friends there. And I'm a volunteer firefighter. They've become like family.

2.) People with a lot of friends make A LOT of plans and make A LOT of contacts. A LOT of these plans and contacts never go anywhere. But people I know with large social circles are the types to usually get another person's number and call them to hang out or just find out what's going on in their life. My girlfriend and my ex-wife are great examples of this. They are party-throwers, lunch-planners, what have you. They are pretty much the center of a social circle and make the plans. They are friendly and welcome people into their world.

Granted, it's not easy to just become that. But if you have a couple friends here and there blend them together. And never fail to tell someone you have a great conversation with that you'd like to do it again...

 

[ilikecharlene]

Find groups/activities.

I'm looking at hiking clubs, cookery, wine tasting, etc.

 

[headFirst]

My friends are the same damn way back at home (away from the university) it's so God damn annoying .. I want a whole new circle of friends. Sometimes I feel your friends can hold you back from meeting new people or fully enjoying life.

I'm always the one trying to plan something or get people to come out.. and last minute people bail or complain they have no money.. It's all mostly my old co-workers though, which is all I really knew back at home away from the university..

I lost touch with a lot of HS friends when I joined the military, not that that was a horrible thing.. Anyway yea I'm looking to start investing time in a new circle of friends. Sometimes you can only put up with so much laziness. Friends are supposed to bring fun and help you grow and learn, while growing and learning with you.. Some people I guess think they will be young forever.