How to lower her Interest Level?

[Oscar Wilde]

I've had a couple of seperate situations recently where I've wanted to lower some girls IL, without having her think I'm an assh0le.

It's actually pretty hard to do without coming off like a complete loser. The problem is that if you go too AFC that can make her believe you're really into the relationship and she'll ignore her lowered IL, and you're in a worse situation that when you started.

But if you want to stay friends, well it's tough! Any ideas? I don't mind being good friends, or being "friends with benefits" with this girl.

Oscar.

 

[Clint Eastwood]

I can't believe I'm answering this. I think most of us are concerned with raising her IL, but since I was in a similar situation, I'll share what I did. I'm not totally sure of what worked and what didn't, but overall she lowered her IL. This made it possible for me to break up with a psycho and not have to worry about having a stalker on my hands. Or ending up like John Bobbit. OUCH!

Spend a lot of time with her. I mean just hang around her all the time, even when you know she wants you to go away. Don't keep any of your possessions at her place. Don't ever initiate kissing, hugging or sex. Always say you're too tired to have sex. Act really cold and uncaring when you do kiss or hug her. Say a lot of stupid, negative things. Whine and complain a lot about everything. Just be really negative. That way, you don't have to be an a$$, but you're sure of lowering her interest level.

I once asked Doc Love how to keep a girl's Interest Level high. He said, every time you open your mouth, think... "Is this going to raise or lower her IL?"

In your case, say the things that will lower her IL. Make her your momma, share your feelings, (mostly the negative ones). Give her a little time. She'll definitely lower her Interest Level.

 

[Clint Eastwood]

To add to that. I just don't get why you would want to stay friends with a chick. To me, the only relationships I want with most women are the ones I'm f*cking. There are a few exceptions, but all you have to do is L J B F them. You're not being an a$$hole by doing this, and you don't have to worry about her Interest Level.

 

[xblitz44x]

You can't lower interest level with actions, just like you can't increase it. If you could, then you'd have no problems doing it simply by "reversing" things. That should be proof enough. But I will be opposed by guys who are still caught up in this dream world that we can dictate attraction by our actions. Doesn't happen. The more you try to act AFC to a girl that is into you, the more it won't matter, and she'll put more into it because she'll feel you want the same.

-Blitz

 

[Oscar Wilde]

Originally posted by Clint Eastwood
I just don't get why you would want to stay friends with a chick. To me, the only relationships I want with most women are the ones I'm f*cking.

This chick is really cool, but I'm not looking for a relationship. If I was, she'd definitely be a contender. But I'd love to stay hanging out with her every so often, cos she's a great person - a'ight?

Originally posted by Clint Eastwood

There are a few exceptions, but all you have to do is L J B F them. You're not being an a$$hole by doing this, and you don't have to worry about her Interest Level.

ok, you think I don't need to worry about IL in this situation? Why not? I'm thinking this (LJBF) is the way to go but I don't want to hurt her (I think she make have her hopes up).

Thanks for the good info so far!
Oscar.

 

[MDgood]

I've lowered a girls IL before successfully

Granted, this is only one girl I've done this to. Usually I can get a pretty good bead on a girl as to whether or not she's interested early enough such that if I'm disinterested I can keep away from her enough for her IL to lower on it's own.

What I did this one time is take the girl on a date to see a really, really non-chick depressing movie. In this case it was "Saving Private Ryan". Don't get me wrong, one of the best films ever made about guys with balls so big, the rest of us suffer from testicle envy. But not the sort of film you take a girl to see. At the end of it I had this attitude of not being affected by the movie (even though I was), and it kind of made her see me as being a bit insensitive. She made a few moves toward me afterwards, but nothing big.

 

[GirlCrazy]

I just don't get why you would want to stay friends with a chick.

I agree with this reasoning, but I had a friend who had this "system" where he was friends with all these circles of friends. He would wiggle his way into a circle of girlfriends and he'd sleep with 2 or 3 out of that circle (LJBF'ing them) until he wore out his welcome. He'd find another circle and repeat the process. Always seemed like a big hassle to me, but this guy scored like a mofo.

Staying friends with a chick is a good idea if she has a lot of friends that you want to sleep with.

As far as lowering a woman's interest level, my theory is that it has to be raised before it can be lowered. Just ignore her. Ignoring her will raise her IL in the short term but eventually she will get the hint and her IL will decline.

If you're dead set on keeping her as a friend just give her the old LJBF speach. I won't go into the exact wording of the speech cause every guy on earth knows from painful experience how it's done. Again, this will probably raise her IL in the short term as she tries to work her way out the friends zone. Once she realizes you're serious, her IL will decline, but you have to stand firm.

Friends with benefits is much harder to pull off. Only way I've ever pulled this off is with women who had a high IL and started in my friends zone from day one. I've seen my master DJ friends flop on this one more often than not. Might be worth a try but the bottom line is most women need an emotional connection to rationalize having sex with a guy.

 

[FlyGuy]

Why not just be honest with her? I know I prefer it if a chick comes right out and says whats up instead of playing games (though this rarely happens...)