how to leave her feeling she lost you after she rejects your 2nd date request bluntly

[big weezy]

If you have a first date with a girl and it maybe didn't go that well but you try again for a second and she flat out rejects you via text saying something like 'i dont feel the same way.. blah blah'

what is the best response you can give to make her feel she's lost you?

I know you're suppose to be indifferent etc but how do you communicate that in text message words, like how do I in the response message act as if i'm not interested anymore and she can't have me (which is silly because 10mins before i'm asking her out for a 2nd date so it's kinda contradictary)?

I have had this happen a few times now, I just want to leave it on a note of her thinking she lost me and can't have me anymore. I always seem to leave it with her thinking she can have me whatever i say. i want to change this.

 

[#1Svedwyn]

What is better my friend? Put oil in engine and has no problem, or wait till motor explodes and ask stewpid question how to fix? GET IT!! OK! HEY!!

 

[Igetit!]

What is better my friend? Put oil in engine and has no problem, or wait till motor explodes and ask stewpid question how to fix? GET IT!! OK! HEY!!

+1 rep.


This is EXACTLY right.


You're focusing in the wrong direction Big weezy. You're trying to decide what's the best way to clean up spilt milk,to use a towel or a mop,when it'd be MUCH EASIER just to avoid spilling it in the first place.


Instead of trying to make her feel like she lost you because she rejected going out on a second date with you,why not just focus more on making sure the first date goes well?



You say that this has happened to you several times before. Then you might want to take a step back to look at how you act and behave towards these girls on the first date to see where you're screwing up at.



It's either that,or just keep UNKNOWINGLY screwing things up.


Trust me,the LAST THING you want to do is spend the next one or two years repeatedly turning girls off on dates only to find out that it was something easy you could have fixed.

 

[big_weezy]

+1 rep.


This is EXACTLY right.


You're focusing in the wrong direction Big weezy. You're trying to decide what's the best way to clean up spilt milk,to use a towel or a mop,when it'd be MUCH EASIER just to avoid spilling it in the first place.


Instead of trying to make her feel like she lost you because she rejected going out on a second date with you,why not just focus more on making sure the first date goes well?



You say that this has happened to you several times before. Then you might want to take a step back to look at how you act and behave towards these girls on the first date to see where you're screwing up at.



It's either that,or just keep UNKNOWINGLY screwing things up.


Trust me,the LAST THING you want to do is spend the next one or two years repeatedly turning girls off on dates only to find out that it was something easy you could have fixed.

I agree with you I am trying to improve on first dates but it's a trial and error process for me, what i am saying is, is there a default response I can give to a text of 'i dont feel the same way and never have done' so i can leave it that she has lost me?

I think it is just to protect my fragile ego, because I dont like the feeling of her feeling she can have me anytime she wants. I know NC is possible but it doesn't work if she has already rejected you in such a blunt way.

 

[46and2aheadofme]

I agree with you I am trying to improve on first dates but it's a trial and error process for me, what i am saying is, is there a default response I can give to a text of 'i dont feel the same way and never have done' so i can leave it that she has lost me?

I think it is just to protect my fragile ego, because I dont like the feeling of her feeling she can have me anytime she wants. I know NC is possible but it doesn't work if she has already rejected you in such a blunt way.

Why do you care?

At that point the broad is completely useless to you. There is nothing you can say in a text that will make her feel like she "lost you".

Rejection sucks, but you are playing a petty game.

If you want to piss her off say something like "HAHAHA I was KIDDING. You're (roomate, friend, mother, hamster) is who I'm REALLY after. Can you forward me their number?"

But of course that just comes off as bitter. It's a lose, lose situation. Like many situations, no response is the best response.

 

[big_weezy]

Why do you care?

At that point the broad is completely useless to you. There is nothing you can say in a text that will make her feel like she "lost you".

Rejection sucks, but you are playing a petty game.

If you want to piss her off say something like "HAHAHA I was KIDDING. You're (roomate, friend, mother, hamster) is who I'm REALLY after. Can you forward me their number?"

But of course that just comes off as bitter. It's a lose, lose situation. Like many situations, no response is the best response.

I just want to for once leave on terms where she doesn't think she has me or has lost me. I always seem to have it that i'm supplicating her and she can have me anytime. Not just her, any girl this situation arise from. Noted I don't care either way if I have her cos I know it's already done, but I just dont want her having the satisfaction of thinking she can have me whenever.

I've never been in a situation where a girl has come back and I got the opportunity to turn her down.

 

[RMM]

I've never been in a situation where a girl has come back and I got the opportunity to turn her down.

Is that it? You just want to turn a girl down?

Go to a bar/pub/whatever, and next time you make eye contact with a woman, just look past her and move on. Congratulations, you just turned her down, you're not interested.

I mean, if that's all you need, it's pretty damn easy to fix. Meanwhile, stop worrying about what the women think after it's over. Seriously, it's over, anything down to an amoeba or an angleworm will just move on when there's no profit to be had, stop overcomplicating things.

 

[big_weezy]

Is that it? You just want to turn a girl down?

Go to a bar/pub/whatever, and next time you make eye contact with a woman, just look past her and move on. Congratulations, you just turned her down, you're not interested.

I mean, if that's all you need, it's pretty damn easy to fix. Meanwhile, stop worrying about what the women think after it's over. Seriously, it's over, anything down to an amoeba or an angleworm will just move on when there's no profit to be had, stop overcomplicating things.

you dont understand, i want the girl who rejected me not to feel that she can have me anytime she wants.

i want to walk away feeling that she felt she lost something, rather than thinking she can have me anytime, do u see the difference?

otherwise every time i encounter this, i'll end up leaving her with the feeling she can have me.

if there's no actualy response to this that anyone can come up with then fine, i'll accept that. i just want a default response.

 

[NO MA'AM]

big_weezy,

I think 46and2aheadofme is absolutely correct. Sometimes, no response is the best response.

you dont understand, i want the girl who rejected me not to feel that she can have me anytime she wants.

i want to walk away feeling that she felt she lost something, rather than thinking she can have me anytime, do u see the difference?

otherwise every time i encounter this, i'll end up leaving her with the feeling she can have me.

if there's no actualy response to this that anyone can come up with then fine, i'll accept that. i just want a default response.

Since according to you, she flat out rejected you in her last text to you, I don't think your above comments are anything you should worry about What you should be more concerned over is that you are not completely over this girl, and that is EXACTLY what you have to work on. This sounds like the onset of Oneitis.

My suggestion is to move on immediately and pursue other prospects. The longer you analyze this defunct situation, the deeper you fall into the well of Oneitis, and the harder it will be for you to climb out.

Look at it this way: She doesn't have you now. SHE is now the loser. End of story. Time to move on.

 

[RMM]

you dont understand, i want the girl who rejected me not to feel that she can have me anytime she wants.

i want to walk away feeling that she felt she lost something, rather than thinking she can have me anytime, do u see the difference?

otherwise every time i encounter this, i'll end up leaving her with the feeling she can have me.

if there's no actualy response to this that anyone can come up with then fine, i'll accept that. i just want a default response.

Let me try another way.

Are you worried about her thinking she can have you anytime, or are you worried that she KNOWS she can have you anytime?

There is a difference. The first one means you just have to stop worrying about what she thinks and just move on, because it's over and no good to dwell on it. The second one is you asking how to avoid getting so much into girls that they can have you anytime.

I'm not being facetious here, think about what you're really asking. In the first case, post some detailed (detailed!) reports of how you make your approaches, how you follow up, and so on, and I'm sure you'll find good advice. In the second case, what you have to sort is your inner game, i.e., your issues and priorities.

 

[r0cky]

Ok I think i know what you're asking here, you want her to know that she has lost you and can never have you again ( even tho it seems thats what she wanted)
I think now its too late because a response this late would make her think you've been thinking too much. So next time do this tell her "Thats great because i have another girl I like and i couldnt make up my mind which of you to keep"
its a low blow, but you asked for it.
If you ask me I wouldn't give a f, and would just move along. May I advise you to work on strengthening your ego so you wont get hurt so easily and wont feel the need to resort to these options.

 

[iliketennis]

you almost definitely cannot accomplish what you're trying to do

your best chance is to say nothing at all. anything else comes across as desperate and insincere

 

[chance]

with this girl you can't make her feel like she lost you... you lost her already, you can't turn the tables on that man. try it with another girl. i've turned down many girls before and it's a good feeling, especially when they aren't used to it

 

[Huffman]

I can dress up as a girl and you can turn me down if you then feel better about yourself

 

[big_weezy]

Let me try another way.

Are you worried about her thinking she can have you anytime, or are you worried that she KNOWS she can have you anytime?

There is a difference. The first one means you just have to stop worrying about what she thinks and just move on, because it's over and no good to dwell on it. The second one is you asking how to avoid getting so much into girls that they can have you anytime.

I'm not being facetious here, think about what you're really asking. In the first case, post some detailed (detailed!) reports of how you make your approaches, how you follow up, and so on, and I'm sure you'll find good advice. In the second case, what you have to sort is your inner game, i.e., your issues and priorities.

To be honest, I think it's both. I think it's just that feeling of losing that f's me off and when they say something harsh like 'i dont feel the same way and never have done' which is a low blow I want to respond in a way which is indifferent and that she's lost me now, fair enough I accept i've lost her but at the same time I dont want her thinking or knowing she can have me anytime. i.e. ok I wanted you, you dont want me, well ok i dont want you either, tough luck you had your chance. it just seems as if i've left them with the satisfaction that they can have me even though that may not be the case anymore but they dont think that.. which is what i want them to think, but it seems it might not be possible so i have to accept that.

 

[Chromeo]

She is not into you.

shes not gonna think she lost anything, thats why she said she wasnt interested and was willing to let you go.

you went on one date?
how does she have any idea in her head that she can have you anytime? She doesnt even want you at all.

if you try and say anything to make her feel like she lost you, shes just gonna think your a weirdo.

say nothing, or the least terrible thing you can say is "oh thats cool, I was just trying to get to know you, see ya, take care"

 

[Atom Smasher]

The ONLY response that will show indifference on your part is to text back a simple "I wish you the best", even throwing a smiley or wink in there (I usually frown on smilies but this time it demonstrates that you are indifferent).

She will be taken aback because she does not expect such graciousness. This will make her wonder if she made a mistake, however this should really be irrelevant to you. It's time for you to move on, knowing that your parting shot was a display of class.