How to know if you can really trust your girl

[otr4]

I just recently got into a relationship with a girl. She's cool and I really like her. One thing, however, that has been difficult to deal with, is the fact that this girl has A LOT of guy-friends. I mean, A LOT. And she hangs out with them all the time. She claims that these guys are only her friends and they don't like her as more than a friend either. I think she's a bit naieve about these guys--I'm certain that more than a few like her more than a friend, or at least just want to f*** her.
I have never showed jealousy about these guys and I've always been cool with her hanging out with them. Everyone I've talked to about this "situation" has said that I just have to trust her if I'm going to be in a relationship with her. I think this is true, but do you guys have any advice/experience on how to really know if you can trust a girl--maybe based on her actions or words, or anything you can think of??
I really appreciate your help.

 

[Julian]

You can never truly trust anyone, let alone a b1tch.

 

[CLOONEY]

Man, what these people are telling you is the HONEST truth. You are just gonna have to trust her. I had a girlfriend like this, man it was annoying, all these guys constantly ringing her up trying to hang out with her, but they were "just friends". Until over a period of 2 months three of them confessed their love to her. hahaaha, AFC chumps. She hardly talked to them again after that. But instead found a whole heap of new guy friends
Its hard, but chances are they are only FRIENDS.

If she starts acting cold towards you, her interest level jumps from high to low etc then she is a waste of time, as she is emotionally unstable anyways and will only create more trouble than good for you in the LR. Sometimes these girls genuinely get along better with guys, other times it is simply for an ego trip. Hopefully you got the first of the two.

And always remember the MOST IMPORTANT THING................

ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS, if this girl starts talking about them, dont worry, but if she starts to act the way I stated above, cold, IL jumping around etc, GET RID OF HER QUICK!

Good luck, and take it easy.

 

[otr4]

Thanks Clooney. It sounds like you have experience.
Does anyone have anything else to add about signs of "things to come"--body language, things a girl might say etc., in relation to the trust issue.
Also , this girl is 18. I'm not sure if that means anything, but just throwing it out there.

 

[Omega]

Originally posted by otr4
Thanks Clooney. It sounds like you have experience.
Does anyone have anything else to add about signs of "things to come"--body language, things a girl might say etc., in relation to the trust issue.
Also , this girl is 18. I'm not sure if that means anything, but just throwing it out there.

Shes 18? Once you start seeing her in porn flicks you'll know...


Kidding.

Less AFC qualitys from her means a lack of intrest.

 

[Blurred Elevens]

RIIIGGGHHHTTTTT.

She's not naive dude, she's just another attention ***** that you need to be aware of. Any girl that hangs with a bunch of dudes is trouble. If you hung with a bunch of chicks, you'd be trying to nail them unless you're a chump. It's no different.
She doesn't hang with girls cause girls don't want anything from here and see her for who she is....

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

BS... I hang with ALOT of girls, and mostly all of them are very attractive... Many of them I never consider fvcking and alot of them i've already done something with so I've gotten them out of my system... Which means I hang with them 100% platonically.

 

[Blurred Elevens]

Your quote::: Alot of them I've already done something with::::


LOL-pretty much proves my point.

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

Well yes and no because NOW they are platonic.... That girl might have done alot of stuff with her guys but maybe in thepast before they met?

and generally no I trust noone, especially not girls. Only very very close friends.

 

[Mr. Delicious]

You cant trust her. Sorry i am just pissed at shady women right now. Seriously though she probably has to be in like the top 10% to be trusted with all those guys. Most women are extremely shady.

 

[Stripes]

Remember this

So it sounds like you might think that you actually started to beleive that you like her.... And although you've never showed jealousy it's more than likely starting to show....
Remember the first time you might have thought that you actually started to beleive you liked a girl? Crushed weren't you but in the end what did it all boil down to?
Ya of course you might have thought that you actually beleived they had good qualities...
but what good are those qualities when you'd probably be alot more aware of how this could affect someone in a relationship with you... Would you, if you liked her, do what she's doing to you


Look, your the prize to be one
back to remembering the first time... the girl who now doesn't deserve for what she did. And think about all the nice things you did, how they were just thrown right back in your face. How does it feel, Look at what she did to you. And while you begin to look
at what your new one's doing to you now as you've done so much for reasons you probably forgot and really think about it
Has she really won you or have you only beginning getting all the things you desire?




All my Stripes come from putting in work

 

[Stripes]

hey Kineti[C]harm

I don't even know about trusting the very very very close friends..
trust is a feeling for me....
I dunno how I'd explain it
kinda like how fingers talks about looking for happiness outside of oneself
(here) http://wmspdf.free-host.com/weaponsofmassseduction.pdf

 

[dietzcoi]

After 43 years I still do not understand the "girl with many male friends (supplicants)" situation. I have seen it many times and it is always f#cked up. Always.....

Do not trust her. Even if she does not want any of them, they want her. It is just nothing you want to be involved with. Do you want a GF talking to other men about you and complaining about you? (To which they will show her great sympathy and make you look like an azzhole, just to build themselves up)

I would not trust her and I would not trust a man with close female "friends" instead of male friends.

Sorry to those of you who think otherwise, no offense intended.

Dietzcoi

 

[AmgineEX]

I'll chip in my .02

From my experiences, women seems to be blind as to whether guys are genuinely her platonic friends or they have hidden ulterior motives. She might be genuinely honest that she believes they are 100% platonic. If that's the case, then i see no problem with her. She might be using them as social proof to put herself a leg up from the other women jus as we use women as social proof to seem more desirable. Personal example, my EX thought a guy was just her "friend." The day after we broke up, the guy confessed his undying love (his undying infatuation's more like it). During the whole 3 months she knew him, she thought he was just a platonic friend with no interest in her. I saw through that layer of bullshyt veil in an instant.

One good way to judge the guy's interest in the female is by the way the guy handles himself. Most men are AFCs, so if you see that he calls her like it's an routine (ie: daily), then he more than likely has the hots for her.

 

[b's nuts]

go with her to hang out with these guys consistently for a while. The guys won't be trying to talk you down and get after her while you are there. After a while of that, you should be able to weed out the ones that are her "friends" and the ones that want in her pants.

 

[Reto]

Originally posted by Julian
You can never truly trust anyone, let alone a b1tch.

TRUE...

But you've got to. Just keep in mind what was said above. If she starts acting cold, she has a higher IL in someone else. It's the first step before "I've found someone else"...

The AFC's of the world are their own worst enemy. I've learned not to worry about them...

 

[NewMan]

My 2 cents....

All this is great and good - but it really boils down to a couple of things...

CAN YOU HANDLE IT?

Can you handle her having lot's of guy friends? because the fact that your posting suggests that it's bothering you. Maybe you need to take a look at yourself - and if it's not something you want - next her.

But remember - should you do this, She will play the guilt card on you - and probably tell you that your acting like an azz because she's just friends with these guys - that they mean nothing to her. But at the end of the day it's about what YOU want - not what she wants. Guys tend to forget about this because they are getting the puss and are ruled by the puss.

Next thing -

SHE'S TO YOUNG TO BE IN AN LTR

Yeah - she's 18. How old are you? you should be out there with lots of chick friends playing the field. It sounds like your both to young and immature (she's is anyway) to be in an LTR.

Is she's hanging out with other guys all the time - thats a problem.

Next thing

IT'S BS THAT ALL OF THESE GUYS ARE JUST FRIENDS

Sure, they are just friends because that all SHE wants from them right now. But should they get the chance, these guys (or the majority) would not think twice about banging your girl.

TRUST IS NOT THE MAIN ISSUE

It's not a case of trust necessarilly - it's more of respect. Does she respect you? she's putting herself into situations with other guys - maybe she feels that they are just friends and she can handle it - but it's not very respectfull to you is it? Sure the guys maybe AFC, maybe not. Is there flirting going on? Yeah more than likely. How many girls have you hung out with that you don't flirt with? come on to? tease? Kino? play fight with?


End of the day all that matters is what you want out of it.

 

[DJSask]

Wow alot of you guys are certainly jaded when it comes to women... I mean women aren't the devil boys....

Dude you issue is simple... you don't trust yourself enough to be think she'll be interested just in you with all these dudes around...

Until you have something to worry about don't do it.... BELIEVE ME... I'm the worst person in the world for conjuring up all types of drama when in reality there is none.... just enjoy your time together... if she is going to stray she will.. but why fear what isn't happening

 

[Reto]

Use your gut feeling...if you feel somethig's up, something's up...Women are better liars than you think...

 

[InLawsHateMe]

If you have a history of jealousy....

....or a history of picking up ppl who creep on you.... then maybe you should ask yourself 'why me? what am I doing wrong?'

Some ppl do it for the sheer excitement... the thought of having the forbidden fruit.... but not all ppl are like that. Some are truly honest about one on one. If this is what you want, and she's not down with that, move on, you can find other women who are. *shrugs*

Trust, is a lot easier to handle when you know that you are the sh*t, and if someone wants to creep on YOU, then they don't know what a good thing is.