How to keep a high IL in a girlfriend?

[WORKEROUTER]

After starting to date this chick exclusively, I am wondering the best way to keep up a high IL in me. It's happened before where the relationship starts out great, with a very high IL, but slowly spirals downward. What do you guys recommend?

Also, how often should a guy go out with his girlfriend? It's easy to want to get together almost everyday, but this seems to drain out excitement.

 

[Fenderules]

yeah some time away from each other is good. Just dont become insecure man. As soon as that happens things go down. Try to be out going. once the mystery wears off be spontanious. do little things for her and so on.

 

[Kaine]

Some brief tips for you that works for me in LTRs::


(*) Push and Pull is something I put into practice a lot. It lets me get away with a lot of things others would call wussy. By been aloof every now and then, allows a contrast which amplifies the value of the romantic things you do for her.

(*) Also in a related area, reward and punishment conditioning. Reward her with sweetness and attention for behaviour you like and act aloof and indifferent to her *****iness behaviour. Thus she does not take you for granted and stops seeing you as the prize.

(*) Be spontaneous every now and then


I highly recommend the articles in the tips section by, I think by... Master of the Universe. Those concerning raising your value and making her work for you.

Stay strong as you were when you first attracted her. Its so easier to forget where you are and come full circle to wussiness again. You need to work at it, relationships require maintenance including maintenance of yourself

If you find a hot chick with a great personality it's all worth it

Kaine

 

[DeathDealer]

Originally posted by Fenderules
yeah some time away from each other is good. Just dont become insecure man. As soon as that happens things go down. Try to be out going. once the mystery wears off be spontanious. do little things for her and so on.

good tip, i concur with this. sh1t like calling up the girl and if she picks up tell her you'll be there right away showing up with some tasty dessert or burping big time in her face after downing a beer.

not sure about the push/pull or reward/punishment kinda thing cause it sounds like games to me.

 

[Kaine]

not sure about the push/pull or reward/punishment kinda thing cause it sounds like games to me.

Yes in a way you could say these are games, you could say these are techniques as for many of the tips for picking up girls in this forum. Do girls do this? Absolutely. Relationships require work. Whether you do this naturally or not your behaviour needs to adjust if you want to maintain long and lasting relationships.


Push and pull is not new. Push means to give affection, attention. Pull means to give space, indifference. This creates contrast. For example, if you are treated well all the time, you'll probably take it for granted. That is why you DON'T act nice ALL the time. Yes pulling back means giving space as well so resist your natural tendency to see her everyday.

Reward and punishment is common sense. This works with Push and Pull. If she sh1t tests you, is a princess etc of course you DON'T give her attention, you pull back. If she is sweet and cooks for you or gives you a full body massage (my LTRs all do this for me), you reward them with affection. This means she WORKs for your affection with her good behaviour. When she works for you, you are the prize and you are more valuable to her. Not like those other supplicating schmucks out there who fall over themselves because she is so damn hot.


Jerks do this naturally, they pull back a lot such that when they give (even a little) it seems like heaven is shining from his butt. Case in point, another hot girl I know (guys flock) is going out with this guy is totally unromantic. I ask her why that is?


HB9: ... well he is just not like that.
Me: Well what's keeping you around?
HB9: Well he's not totally unromantic, he can be really sweet sometimes
Me: As in? Flowers? Walks on the beach?
HB9: Well... no. Sometimes he'll just come over and hugs me out of the blue


If he was romantic and gave affection ALL the time, would a hug be as sweet and have such impact?

You need to be able to calibrate according depending on the quality of your girl or relationship. Like I say I employ these all the time and collectively has worked very well. They also require some intelligence as with many of the theory and practice here. These work positively if employed, you can be a good guy not a jerk in this way.

Games? Girls will may also do the push and pull on you, in fact my current GF even mentioned it. They may or may not employ this along with their sh1t tests in one form or another (i.e. the pout). Again relationships require work. Maintenance of the relationship and maintenance of your behaviour.

Kaine

 

[myfriendblu]

alot of people have talked about this in the past. I have found in my life as a person who has had alot of LTR's, especially last couple of years, that one thing works the best - to have a life, a life outside of your girl/guy. Good job, school, work, hobbies, friends, other places to go and other people to see. If you got a good life and a good thing going for yourself, it is very transparent to other people, especially your LTR. She will know and understand that you are a good catch, and someone not to be taken for granted. I have really found that this is the one universal truth in LTR's. If you stay a good catch, she will stick around. You can never let up, never get too comfortable. You always gotta stay on your toes, but in a relaxed confidant way. Just have a life.

 

[Kaine]

You can never let up, never get too comfortable. You always gotta stay on your toes, but in a relaxed confidant way. Just have a life.

Absolutely! Agree 100%

I just don't want to state the obvious and prefer to focus on specific techniques anyone can employ.

I have a great job, athletic and plenty of hobbies. I assume the same for everyone and that you have some of your sh1t together. This is commonsense.

Whoops this close to getting on a soapbox....

Kaine