I made it very clear to this girl that i only wanted to have sex with her when i met her, and she said she wants the same thing, and doesn't want a relationship either. But now she's starting to get clingy and calling me things like baby, honey and darling. So is there anything i can say or do to keep her from getting too attached? I don't want her to get hurt.
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How to keep a girl from getting too attached?
- Thread starter Krassus
- Start date
Just because a woman listens to you and acts interested in what you say doesn't mean she really is. She might just be acting polite, while silently wishing that the date would hurry up and end, or that you would go away... and never come back.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
Pimp-sicle
Master Don Juan
Krassus: LOL bro, I've been in your EXACT situation 3x over the last 6 months. When you are being pursued by a girl she will tell you whatever you want to hear. Girls get pretty confused when the "game" is played on them and as a result they act very AFCish!! Let me tell you what happened with each:
1st girl: Met her at a party, and noticed she'd always be at all the parties after we chatted a couple times. Finally hooked up with her and FLAT OUT told her that I was only looking to have fun!! She said yeah yeah me too, don't worry. 2 weeks later, she started a crazy cycle of calling me 3x an day, trying to set up dates etc. This one particular night she had told me she was going to a guy friend's party. I told her that was totally cool because I really didn't care. I get a phone call at 3am from her and she leaves a message saying, "Hey I'm at this party and I just want to let you know, I'm not talking to any other guys and I'm only thinking of you." Finally had to stop answering my phone to give her the message. Worst part is, she lives 2 minutes away from me.
2nd girl: Met this girl through her friend, who I'm close with. We both were making heavy EC and flirting big time. She flat out asked me for my # an hour later and wanted to go out. We ended up watching movies at her friends house. This started a week long hook up every night. She was from out of town and was only visiting her best friend. I never thought anything serious could come out of this because she lived so far away. Anyway, the night before she had to leave she calls and says suddenly she can stay for 3 more days. Earlier she had explained to me how she could not stay any longer than a week because she had to take a BIG TEST!! So the night before she's leaving I go over and she's drinking. She comes up to me rubbing my **** underneath the table and pulls me in the next room. She says, "I've never felt this way about a guy ever, and I want you to be my first!!!"
I told her I was flattered but that she didn't even know me and there's no way she could like me that much!! I quickly left the house and she called me everyday for the next 3 days!! I didn't answer
3rd girl: Same scenario, told her I just wanted to hook up and she said the same. One night at a party she started crying and telling all these girls I knew how much she liked me and how she's never liked some one so quick, so much. She told me she never calls guys either. 2 days later she started calling me 3x a day. I finally had to sit her down and tell her it ain't gonna happen like that. That same girl now tells me she never wanted a relationship with me etc.
My point is, this is the time to NEXT HER!! If you don't you'll end up hurting her more. I don't know about you but I'm all for playing the game etc but I don't like stomping on peoples feelings.
1st girl: Met her at a party, and noticed she'd always be at all the parties after we chatted a couple times. Finally hooked up with her and FLAT OUT told her that I was only looking to have fun!! She said yeah yeah me too, don't worry. 2 weeks later, she started a crazy cycle of calling me 3x an day, trying to set up dates etc. This one particular night she had told me she was going to a guy friend's party. I told her that was totally cool because I really didn't care. I get a phone call at 3am from her and she leaves a message saying, "Hey I'm at this party and I just want to let you know, I'm not talking to any other guys and I'm only thinking of you." Finally had to stop answering my phone to give her the message. Worst part is, she lives 2 minutes away from me.
2nd girl: Met this girl through her friend, who I'm close with. We both were making heavy EC and flirting big time. She flat out asked me for my # an hour later and wanted to go out. We ended up watching movies at her friends house. This started a week long hook up every night. She was from out of town and was only visiting her best friend. I never thought anything serious could come out of this because she lived so far away. Anyway, the night before she had to leave she calls and says suddenly she can stay for 3 more days. Earlier she had explained to me how she could not stay any longer than a week because she had to take a BIG TEST!! So the night before she's leaving I go over and she's drinking. She comes up to me rubbing my **** underneath the table and pulls me in the next room. She says, "I've never felt this way about a guy ever, and I want you to be my first!!!"
I told her I was flattered but that she didn't even know me and there's no way she could like me that much!! I quickly left the house and she called me everyday for the next 3 days!! I didn't answer3rd girl: Same scenario, told her I just wanted to hook up and she said the same. One night at a party she started crying and telling all these girls I knew how much she liked me and how she's never liked some one so quick, so much. She told me she never calls guys either. 2 days later she started calling me 3x a day. I finally had to sit her down and tell her it ain't gonna happen like that. That same girl now tells me she never wanted a relationship with me etc.
My point is, this is the time to NEXT HER!! If you don't you'll end up hurting her more. I don't know about you but I'm all for playing the game etc but I don't like stomping on peoples feelings.
Sexy_Malibu
Master Don Juan
Yeah, but by just dropping her like that you will probably be stomping on her feelings anyway. She's obviously already attached. I think you just need to make some subtle statements that will remind her of your original deal...
I don't know, one of my bootycall-flings said to me once how cool it was that I just called him at 2 am coming home from a bar and for exactly one reason only... because he didn't have to worry about returning my phone calls or calling me all the time... (Being the extremely disturbed individual that I am, I was happy to hear him say that... ha ha... I felt the same way). He said something about how it's nice to not have to deal with all the bull**** you get when you're in a real relationship.
You could say something like that (but most girls will not be as happy as I was to hear something like that, so please think of the nicest, least insensitive way of phrasing it).
A slightly meaner (but more effective) way of going about it is to say something about another girl you like/date/**** in front of her...
I mean, there is really no way to get around hurting her feelings because she's already attached, it's already too late... but the longer it goes on the worse it will be, so make it clear asap.
ShortyBrown
Master Don Juan
not necessairily.... it could have the opposite effect. A guy did this to me and though I definetely found it hurtful, all it did was make me realise that all he was good for was laying down with, because if you're gonna be that mean about it well then you are not worth much as a boyfriend then are ya? ( i mean that generally, not directed at anyone)
Well, sometimes the attachement thing happens in reverse!
You go in thinking, ok I',m gonna come out of this when I'm done, no attachments, no remorse. And b4 u know its boom you are hooked on her and find yourslef doing AFC things too. Then you end up getting your feeling hurt bcos shes playing her game right.
Ummm, basically what I am trying to say is, treat her the same way you would want to be treated if you were the one that caught feelings.
Basically.
You go in thinking, ok I',m gonna come out of this when I'm done, no attachments, no remorse. And b4 u know its boom you are hooked on her and find yourslef doing AFC things too. Then you end up getting your feeling hurt bcos shes playing her game right.
Ummm, basically what I am trying to say is, treat her the same way you would want to be treated if you were the one that caught feelings.
Basically.
Player_Supreme
Banned
1. be boring and predictable.
2. spend less time with her...be unavailable..do not return her calls...
3. talk about other females that you know or date.
4. have lots of girly magazines spread over your place or porn stuff.
2. spend less time with her...be unavailable..do not return her calls...
3. talk about other females that you know or date.
4. have lots of girly magazines spread over your place or porn stuff.
Player_Supreme
Banned
Her: how was your weekend
You: good, this friend of mine, susie took me to this nice resturant
Her: thinking ok I gotta take him out to spend more time with him
******
You: good, this friend of mine, susie took me to this nice resturant
Her: thinking ok I gotta take him out to spend more time with him
******
So it seems like just about everyone here likes to beat around the bush, as opposed to telling her what's bothering you. Has anyone ever tried TALKING to the girl in this situation? This isn't rocket science, she should be able to understand, right?
Interestng thread...
My girl has been getting more and more attached. I've told her a few times she needs to chill a little. She does for a few days, then it's back to calling and dropping by, late...
Recently, I've caught her a couple of times saying "you have no idea how much I'm in...how much I like you"...
Last night I told her again, we need to chill out a little. She's like "you don't want to see me any more? If not, I can find someone who does". I'm like that's not what I said...
I'm just leaving it at that and not calling her...It might be nice to just be alone for a while...
My girl has been getting more and more attached. I've told her a few times she needs to chill a little. She does for a few days, then it's back to calling and dropping by, late...
Recently, I've caught her a couple of times saying "you have no idea how much I'm in...how much I like you"...
Last night I told her again, we need to chill out a little. She's like "you don't want to see me any more? If not, I can find someone who does". I'm like that's not what I said...
I'm just leaving it at that and not calling her...It might be nice to just be alone for a while...
I think that's how I got into this...
My whole attitude with this one has been that I don't care if she comes or goes. If she goes out with other guys, what ever. I don't care.
I may have created a monster...
So, should I call her? If so, when?
Is it even possible to get her to take two steps back?
What if I start with the AFC stuff? LOL....
My whole attitude with this one has been that I don't care if she comes or goes. If she goes out with other guys, what ever. I don't care.
I may have created a monster...
So, should I call her? If so, when?
Is it even possible to get her to take two steps back?
What if I start with the AFC stuff? LOL....
Psycho`Sexual
Don Juan
Oh, he is smart
Using petnames on girls is an EXTREMELY effective DJing method. She calls you sweetie, you call her honey right back. But not only her, get into the habit of calling women pet names.(with a fun attitude)
Pet names are funny like that, people cant really decide how to deal with it, is it a joke? is it serious? is it a neghit? grrrr!
Listen to this advice, but dont take this girl too seriously.
Using petnames on girls is an EXTREMELY effective DJing method. She calls you sweetie, you call her honey right back. But not only her, get into the habit of calling women pet names.(with a fun attitude)
Pet names are funny like that, people cant really decide how to deal with it, is it a joke? is it serious? is it a neghit? grrrr!
I don't think calling you baby, honey, etc. is getting attached. Just go have sex with her and try to avoid her and see how she reacts to it. If you still believe that she is getting attached stop having sex with her and confront her about it.