"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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How to increase your odds with little effort

everywomanshero

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I have found a way that a person can have more friends, get laid more often, and have more choices without changing hardly anything. It's called proxemity.

Living in an apartment complex gives more proxemity than living in a house (all other things being equal). Living by the staircase in an apartment yeilds more proxemity than living at the end of a hall. By the staircase people down the hall, and people from the above floor, will come into contact yeilding more *functional proxemity* even though the apartments are not physically as close.

Living in a large city yeilds many times more proxemity than living in a small town.

Going out yeilds more proxemity than sitting at home.

Going to school yeilds more proxemity than a job where you only come in contact with the same 3 people every day.

A job working with the public yeilds more proxemity than working in a closed to the public office.

Similarity is also a factor. The places you choose to go give you something in common with the people who are there. You're both students, both interested in something similar, both like a similar hobby, both like a certain type of music or vibe, etc.

Despite popular misconception, similarity breeds liking, not contempt. So a person can be unique yet similar on some level as discussed above.[Note: If someone dislikes something, similarity will not increase liking. This assumes at least a neutral initial state.]

So as we start the new year, a person will likely have a more enjoyable life (including more friends in general) by increasing proxemity. Make the move to a bigger city, move into a more populas apartment (which usually includes more amenities like a roof pool and a gym anyway), take up some new activity, go out more, etc.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Cancerian

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Proximity is definitely a problem where I live. Many chicks are fat chicks, or are just plain annoying. I can't stand it. I'd go out of town for chicks, but that could pose problems if I don't end up at a chick's place out there, and I don't like to risk drinking and driving if I have to drive for more than 5-10 minutes. A designated driver/wingman/chick-friend may be the answer to that.
 

MacAvoy

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Cancerian said:
I don't like to risk drinking and driving if I have to drive for more than 5-10 minutes.

You shouldn't be risking drinking and driving if its for 2 minutes. Vehicular manslaughter will send you away for life. Not too mention the fines / jailtime for just a regular DUI are crazy enough. Guess you don't value human life.

Where does your sister live? Maybe I'll move to her neigborhood and start drinking and driving.
 

Cancerian

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MacAvoy said:
You shouldn't be risking drinking and driving if its for 2 minutes. Vehicular manslaughter will send you away for life. Not too mention the fines / jailtime for just a regular DUI are crazy enough. Guess you don't value human life.

Where does your sister live? Maybe I'll move to her neigborhood and start drinking and driving.
Dude, chill out. I have never driven drunk, and I more than likely never will. I -have- driven after about 3-4 beers/drinks, no where near drunk or incapacitated. But if you get pulled over for anything, there is 0 tolerance to worry about. Getting pulled over 5 minutes from my destination isn't likely. But since even small amounts of alcohol can remain on one's breath, I would rather not drive 20+ minutes for a couple of drinks and some phone #'s.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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knglerxt

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Proximity only works if you can start conversations with girls just out of the blue. I've been to college for a couple years now, and I haven't met any girls. I lived in an apartment complex that had about a 50% student population. I didn't meet any girls there. I didn't stay in my apartment 24/7 either. I was out and about. But I'm not the type of person that goes around speaking to complete strangers all the time. Most people aren't.
 

Scorched

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everywomanshero said:
Going to school yeilds more proxemity than a job where you only come in contact with the same 3 people every day.
Once I finish up at this 2 year college i am going to go to a college where for ever 1 guy there are 11 girls... :up:
 
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