How to increase social energy?

[AlphaNoob]

So growing up I did not talk much, I preferred to stay in my room and play video games
My parents divorced and I was separated from my father. I couldn't talk to my mom about my father so I just kept to myself. She really drilled in the idea that we did not have much, since we are immigrants. And this really impacted my mentality that I need to work harder than other people. As a result, I try to better myself rather than befriending a lot of people. When I speak to people, I really don't have much to say. All I can focus on is getting into medical school. It kind of amazes me how some people can talk non-stop. I used to find them annoying when they tried to speak with me, but now I realize that they were trying to make sure I did not feel alone because they feel down when they don't talk to people.

So how can I fix this? I do want to be someone that can talk more and interact with more people. I don't like the feeling of having nothing to contribute to conversations and feeling like I don't have a presence.

 

[btownbuck2012]

It's great that you're focusing on medical school and the hard work you're putting into that will pay off in the future. But, you're right, you also need to get more comfortable speaking with other people, both men and women. This will also benefit you tremendously in both your personal and professional relationships.

There's no quick fix to this. It's like learning to ride a bike or playing golf. You've got to do a-lot of it to get good at it. When you first start doing this you cannot be afraid of looking stupid, saying something stupid or embarassing yourself because you'll never grow that way. Initiate conversations with people. Ask them questions about themselves. Start with something simple. Make it a goal to ask 10 new strangers a week for directions around campus. The following week you can make a goal for yourself to ask 10 people on campus directions and find something out about something interesting about them, too.

It wouldn't hurt to join groups, too. Intramurals, book clubs, cooking clubs, go take an improv class, etc. Get a roommate, grow your social circle that way, etc. The bottom line is you've just got to start opening your mouth and talking to people. Once you've done this for a while, a few months, you can come back and get some really solid advice here on the challenges you'll be having because you'll have solid data and experience you can discuss with people on SS.