How to honestly not give a f*#k?

[Ol'BlueEyes]

After spending a year, turning from AFC to R-AFC...reading the DJ Bible and all the trimmings, having moderate success with women (i.e. losing my virginity to a HB6) I'm convinced that the best way to attract women is to not give a rat's behind. I'll give an example:
This past NYE I sat across a table from a couple (the guy I knew slightly). His girlfriend from FLA was smokin'--HB 8.5 to 9. She was all over him....kissing him every four or five minutes, putting her arms around his neck, etc.
He was constantly occupied, talking to friends, almost to the point of ignoring her...I could tell it was driving her nuts. He had social proof, and he wasn't fixated on HER.
My problem is that I've never been able to flip the switch, turn the attraction off when I meet a HB. Mostly I go out alone and thus, focus all my energies on women. In many respects, I'm in the same situation as this poster:
http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=44386
I'm thinking I should give women a break for a bit and recharge...but then along walks a hottie and damn!!! I wish I could stop caring so much!

 

[RawkinKaoticStyle]

i know what you mean man, i just want to not give a ****, and let go, all the prob,es and troubles and attachments, i mean i could fake it , like i dont care but ill know deep inside that i do, so its like arhh i end up caring about not wanting to care

 

[Lone_raider]

Women do get annoyed if you've built rapport with them and then ignore them. Experimented with this yesterday in fact. I went out with this girl for 2 months, she "sort of" ended it cause she couldn't figure out what she wanted, so I did her the favor of officially ending it lol. Anyway, she actually wants to see me all the time still, but half of her calls or text messages go unanswered by me now, and when we have met up, only 3 times in a month and a half now, I'm pretty harsh, or we do whatever I want to do and I never ask her what she thinks. Hard to ignore her when it's just the two of us, but yesterday my friend came along and I thought I'd try some ignoring.

Basically, I had a book and I read through that while she was talking to my friend, or even trying to talk to me. When she would say something to me I either didn't look up or just looked and nodded for second. I would talk right to my friend about whatever, but not to her. When she talked I went back to looking out the window, other women in the coffee shop, or reading lol. It got to a point where she just started saying "Lone_Raider" didn't you do that once, or did you hear me, or I need your opinion. It got to the point where she was solely focused on gaining my attention and started ignoring my friend entirely, it was quite amusing.

I continued to ignore her the whole night, went to a restaurant, I flirted with the waitress, talked to my friend about politics while she was shifting and looking frustrated. Whatever she said I barely acknowledged. She eventually started grabbing my arm, to get me to listen to her and pay attention.

Later my friend had to leave, and it was just the two of us again. Now she was talking up a storm and I was trapped lol. Near the end of her talking she asked me if I wanted to come to her house! But being in control of myself and angered at her still, I said no, I have to get to a friends New Years party, see you later and we left. She was mumbling something about the new year as we left, I just got in the car and drove away lol.

Hmmmm.....inviting me to her house, either trying to hook my attention big time, or she really meant it. Either way, I'm mad at her still so I wasn't going, other women to get to now.

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

One of my best "techniques" to feel relaxed before an evening is very easy...

I listen to alot of trance (Ok this actually gets me into partymood and get my adrenaline flowing but this is good). This gets me into hyperenergyform.

Then I proceed to masturbate, this because a male orgasm releases some kind of sedative into the body, it atleast calms me and sets my mind into a blank state.

Then I take a HOT HOT HOT shower soothing every muscle in my body, shave (+ my weevos ).

Then I slowly dress (SLOWLY taking my time feeling the soothing music) while I do this I fix my hair etc and I lightly dance and feel the groove.

All the while when doing this I drink a couple of beers, taking a sip now and then.

Now I'm ready =)) Relaxed but full of energy with one single thought on my mind, HAVING FUN! (I'm always that way though but this kind of ritual is just a habit of mine)...


I came to the realisation of how to give a fvck when I moved to a new uni and town. In this period I took a great look at life and realised how great the summer had been and I realised eh I live once, I have a fvckload of fun and whatever happens it happens. So I started to give a fvck...

I've always been pretty apathic though which is not good. I actually have troubles feeling anything negative... I remember 9/11, couldn't care less (I live in europe btw). Of course any sad movie or loss of someone will make my cry but if people tell me something bad it never gets me down.

The key I think to giving a fvck is to find something to focus on and understand that you live once. My focus was just to live and have as much fun as possible.

 

[squirrels]

Sometimes it seems like we're all asking the same question.

 

[Grey Fox]

It take practice, and its hard, I'm still working at it myself, but I've gotten a lot better. Oddly enough it was by intentionally getting burned that I learned to tone down my attitude. When I started out a girl could have me bending over backwards, it was so stressful to try to please her 100%. So eventually I would one way or another find a way to torpedo my love life so I could recharge. Of course I got horny after awhile so I would chase after cute girls who though attractive on the outside were not so attractive personality wise. So I found this site one day, don't know how I did it just glad I did, and I began to read tips and learn from others experiences and comparing them to my own and creating the lessons I needed to move forward.

-Grey Fox

 

[becker]

The way I've done this is to LJBF the girl, at least in your mind. It makes it so that your expectations of both yourself and of her are lowered and puts the ball in her court. I know it's drastic, but I'll tell you one thing, faking it will come off just as that...fake, and she'll likely see right through it anyways, which makes you look and feel like a chump. Basically, every time you feel like making a move on the girl and you don't see buying signs, tell yourself she's just a friend, and hopefully that will hold you back.

Most people here are so damn afraid of the term LJBF that they try to stay away from it as much as possible, but in the end, they get screwed because it's so difficult for them to not care about women. If you approach a girl like she's a friend, the mindset changes and you don't look like you're trying so hard to impress her or anything, because why the heck would you need to impress a friend?

I guess it's sort of like yoga or meditation. It helps you to relax, whether you believe it or not.

 

[TesuqueRed]

What you describe, kinetic[ (sorry, mispronounced it..) is a ritual that many "performers" use to prepare before going out. It's a sensuous means of preparing, of connecting, of rehearsing before the big event.

It's very effective.

In fact, even events that I truly loathed going to I've found I could change around my attitude by playing music, having a beer, taking my time getting ready, etc. beforehand.

It's like a knight before a tournament: you're donning (pun intended) your armor and turning on that personality.

You have a good point here. Some people do this as a matter of course and will think "no fvcking duh, how else would you do it?" But some of else need to be reminded of it.

 

[Austin Allegro]

I find doing some exercises - push ups, sit ups etc before going out helps. Not so much that I get tired, but just enough to give me that feeling of being laid back and relaxed and not getting stressed about things. The overall effect should be something like Kevin Spacey in American Beauty when he seduces the cheerleader.