How to have TOTAL CONTROL of your girlfriend

[reset]

when you feel the slightest disrespect, DO A COMPLETE 180 and go apeshyt on her and destroy her (verbally) for whatever little thing she did wrong.

You have no clue what this site is about. Stick around and learn from the men.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

The OP is Skip.

He always posts the same crap about going off on her when she does womething wrong.

 

[Total Control]

You have no clue what this site is about. Stick around and learn from the men.

when is the last time YOU were even in a position that you had a girl?

 

[ChrizZ]

We are men. Women are born to serve US and not the other way around. As DJs we deserve a woman like that and not some ho that gives us additional drama in our lives. Women are the highest form of pets one can have!!!

Listen to the OP.

 

[reset]

You're right... verbally abuse the girl, ASAP.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

when is the last time YOU were even in a position that you had a girl?

Why do you keep changing your username, Skip? What are you ashamed of? That's an AFC move.

 

[Latinoman]

2) when you feel the slightest disrespect, DO A COMPLETE 180 and go apeshyt on her and destroy her (verbally) for whatever little thing she did wrong........this WILL re-inforce in her mind that she needs to behave, because after all, she really wants to see the amazing side of you, not the p1ssed off side of you.........show her how bad you can get, and she wont ever act in a way that will bring that side out

Since when is creating FEAR a way to have control over the relationship? It is the oposite. It means you lost control of everything and MUST rely on fear.

Fear is NOT respect.

And showing anger is an indication a LOSING control on yourself. How can your "control" a relationship if you cannot even control your temper?

Of course...keeping in mind that the woman you are trying to scare might have a brother or a father or somebody that can bring FEAR to you. There is always somebody tougher out there. Always remember that.

 

[reset]

Seems like the best thing to do is get bored and withdraw attention, at least from my experience. Withdrawing attention will kill the chick inside. If it's really bad, calmly, and directly, state what is or is not acceptable behavior, and mean it. That's much more powerful than bouncing all over the walls.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Seems like the best thing to do is get bored and withdraw attention, at least from my experience..

When is the best time to do this? Forget about her disrespecting you, what if you have just gone out a couple times and are trying to hit it.

And say you usually talk once a day, but you aren't sure if she is going to let you hit it.

Start getting scarce or keep chasing?

 

[reset]

Interceptor in another thread basically summed it all up:

Her: "Ill call you later."

You; "Great."

Two or three days pass.

Her; "Why havent you called me?":cuss:

This is like a zen riddle.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Interceptor in another thread basically summed it all up:



This is like a zen riddle.

Yeah, I already tried that a few days ago. I told her I'll call her later but I still haven't called.

But, I keep getting bored and seeing her in chat and having contact that way.

Today, I stayed out of it and had no contact at all. Was thinking she may call or text, but didn't happen.

But I did have a message from her this morning. Who the hell knows.

 

[reset]

No in the example, she says she'll call. Obviously, she probably won't... she'll wait to see if you call first and act needy. You won't, it will tick her off that she doesn't have control, then she'll call to see if you still like her. And all you did was "expect" her to call you (even though you probably figured, she's not going to call even though she said she would. Let me wait this out.)

You may be talking to her too much. I thought the idea was use communication only to set up meetings.

Be honest--- you're not getting bored. You want to talk to her. Which is normal.

Don't waste your time texting and calling. How can she miss you and fantasize when she's getting daily contact in the first stages?

 

[My Name is Nobody]

No in the example, she says she'll call. Obviously, she probably won't... she'll wait to see if you call first and act needy. You won't, it will tick her off that she doesn't have control, then she'll call to see if you still like her. And all you did was "expect" her to call you (even though you probably figured, she's not going to call even though she said she would. Let me wait this out.)

You may be talking to her too much. I thought the idea was use communication only to set up meetings.

Be honest--- you're not getting bored. You want to talk to her. Which is normal.

Don't waste your time texting and calling. How can she miss you and fantasize when she's getting daily contact in the first stages?

Well, she can barely speak English so I doubt she's going to say "I'll call you soon".. LOL.. so that's out the window.

I don't know if I should treat chasing her differently due to the language barrier. Need to hit it ASAP before some guy who speaks her language takes her off my hands.

But my gut is telling me to back off and let her chase me now.

 

[reset]

More devils advocate...

How can he take her off your hands? She's not your gf. She can do what she wants. And since you haven't screwed her you shouldn't have much emotional investment.

I don't care what country she's from, she's a chick. She "gets it", guy+girl=sex.

No chasing. Give her opportunities to pursue you.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

More devils advocate...

How can he take her off your hands? She's not your gf. She can do what she wants. And since you haven't screwed her you shouldn't have much emotional investment.

I don't care what country she's from, she's a chick. She "gets it", guy+girl=sex.

No chasing. Give her opportunities to pursue you.

I meant take her off my hands as in her losing interest completely.

Yeah, you agree with my gut to back off and dissappear for awhile.

I can't control myself going on that damn MSN chat sometimes, she's always online using it.

 

[reset]

Only she can lose interest in you... another guy can't make her do that. Girls date around just like guys do.

That's scarcity. "I have to prove to her I'm worthy otherwise she'll get snatched up."


She's not a precious resource that needs to be hoarded.

But YOU'RE the one who doesn't want to get snatched up.

You need to lay off the chat and calls. Even with the chicks at work I told you about, I always made sure that when they CALLED ME, it was as brief as possible. You want them physically next to you. Not separated by phones and chats.

 

[iqqi]

MNIN - if you said you were going to call... then call. A man should keep his word.

To the OP and to comment on the OP, the only time someone feels the need to control another, is when they can't control themselves.

To you, and anyone who resonated with your advice, I'd suggest you start within.

Start here.

 

[guru1000]

CONTROL is a DEEP word. Some misconstrue it as POLITICALLY INCORRECT.
As Robert Greene says it is the feeling of helplessness and loss of power that creates unhappiness. No one wants less power; everyone wants more.

You need to CLARIFY what is being CONTROLLED as well as describe how should FEAR correctly be expressed.

You SHOULD not ever put FEAR of threats or violence onto another. You are not such a tough guy if I was her brother and put a bullet between your teeth. You cannot THREATEN and then expect no consequence.

The only FEAR you should be instilling is the FEAR of WALKING AWAY. Her actions have to merit your attention and be respectful OR you will WALK AWAY.

This is a HEALTHY and CORRECT fear to portray. In other words, you will not tolerate anything less than what you ask.

CONTROL is not healthy in regards to another entity. However, CONTROLLING the FRAME is key. Either you or her at any given point in the relationship CONTROLS the frame. The more often you CONTROL the frame, the more power you have in the relationship.

As the CARDINAL RULE, the one who holds the most power is the one who needs the other the least. Your ability to play by your rules of RESPECT keeps you in control of the frame.

But it is ultimately your CHARACTER as a MAN that will maintain control of this FRAME. You cannot repeatedly walk away. Inevitably it is your INTEGRITY and MASCULINITY that will shine that will LET the girl know she has to step up to the plate and bat 100%.

Your head is in the right place. Perception is key.

 

[reset]

The only FEAR you should be instilling is the FEAR of WALKING AWAY.

Perfect.

 

[penkitten]

good god guru, that was a great post!
such integrity