How to handle this situation right?

[Some Call Me Tim]

Hey guys,

There's this girl at university who I was in a LTR with a couple of years ago. We went out as seriously as we could around our studies for 8 months, and eventually she dumped me for general AFC qualities. We certainly haven't broached the subject, and now are caught in a weird limbo between friends and enemies.

Fast forward a year and I've been working out, watching what I eat, and generally trying to make more of a man of myself. Recently I've been teasing her pretty rough, just playing around and having fun, not really being malicious.

So today she pulls me aside and asks me if I hate her. She told me that she feels that maybe she hurt me and that I'm bitter and jaded, and also confessed that she lay awake last night wondering if I hate her. I tried to duck the issue until I could come up with something better, but she wouldn't leave me alone and I don't hate her, so I eventually told her so.

At this point, I don't want to appear AFC by appearing bitter, because I really believe I've killed that portion of myself, and that I'm much more comfortable with how I interact with girls now. This influence I seem to have over her though, causing her to lay awake, I wonder if there's anything to be gained there.

I know (rightly so) that sosuavers don't go back to their exes, and I'm not looking to kick off anything, but if you guys take this for a sign of attraction, she's hot... To be honest I'm quite generally confused by this situation, and seek advice on how to handle it, as well as interpretations of what's there.

Cheers :rockon:

 

[thinkinblue613]

I wouldn't start jumping to conclusions with her, she left YOU remember? Now that she's seen you becoming more of a MAN, being responsible and healthy, you have higher value in her eyes. You're no longer that AFC, but that dude may return when you start hanging out with her more often.

She may be hot and she may be worth your time, but don't get complacent. Keep focused by working out and doing what you've been doing for the last year. Continue exploring other women. If you really want her back, let her in your schedule sparingly and when its convenient for you. Don't bend over for everything.

You're a new man now, stick with your plan.

If this helps, remind yourself of how you felt when she left you in the first place. Don't forget she has done that to you before, and could do it again.

 

[n00bPimp]

Do you really like her? or do you just feel good because you've got the upper hand?
If you really do like her, then just be cool and implement some attraction routines. If you just feel good about the fact that you're in control then just be cool and go on with your life.
Most importantly, don't use her validation to identify yourself as the man, because guess what will happen when she doesn't validate you anymore?