How to handle this issue with the ex

[cactus3178]

My ex and I share the same house for about another month until my new place becomes available, and then I'm out of here.

[history]

She keeps bringing it up, saying that she still want us to hang out and 'date' each other after I leave. Keep in mind that we were together for 3 years exclusively (still are for the most part) and we've been in limbo for 7 months now. Neither one of us have slept with/kissed/dated anybody else (yes, I'm sure) and we still have sex about 1 or 2 times a week. I know that's a big no-no, but I'm a horny bastard.

So basically, she's giving me some kind of ****ed up altimatum; she wants to see if I can make it on my own....you know, pay my own bills/rent/etc., and then she'll see if she wants to get officially get together again. On one hand I understand what she wants, and on the other, I know I shouldn't take this ****.

I admit to making mistakes in the relationship. ****ing off responsibilities, spending too much money and such. She says she loves me and wants to be with me but can't unless I change my irresponsible ways.

[/history]

Okay, that said, here's my complication: I have a 7 year od daughter from a previous relationship who I love more than anything or anyone. I have sole custody of her after taking my other ex to court (and spending many thousands of dollars). She's become very attached to my current ex and her family. I'm not sure how to deal with this, because at times I think that things could work out between me and the current ex, but I know it's likely ****ed in the long run.

Too many things that I don't like and don't want to deal with. She doesn't respect me (from her own mouth), and that's something I'm not sure can be salvaged.

If we call it quits for good (I'm still up in the air, even though it goes against everything I've learned here, that ***** ass AFC in me keeps thinking this will magically work out somehow), I don't want to see my daughter unhappy because she can't spend time with the people that she's grown close to.

Honestly, what do you do in a situation like this?

I have GOT to make a decision about this because being in between with my ex is daily torture. I don't want to see my daughter hurt, bottom line.

 

[The_Fonz]

Ive never been in situation like this but heres my 2 cents anyway.

The best thing you could do is cut all contact with your ex when you move. The fact that shes even told you that she doesnt respect you is totally fvcked. You've got to realise that staying with your ex because your daughter has grown attached is not a good enough excuse. If you do get back with her the same problem will only re-occur later on (namely the fact that she doesnt respect you). Either way its inevitable that your daughter will get hurt - however ending it now wouldnt be as nearly painful as another 3 years down the line

 

[Crank_It_Up]

sorta sounds like she doesn't want to end the relationship until she's sure you are the non responsible guy she thinks you are, that can't make it on his own. If you are that guy, then it's over.

 

[cactus3178]

I'm fine now. I have a good job and I pay my bills. She want to see if I can do it on MY money alone w/o her splitting the rent, etc with me.

I don't know, it's a valid concern on her part, but there's been a ton of other **** that just puts me off. Mainly the disrespect comment. WTF.