how to handle the ex-gf

[WC2]

Long story short, I was in a relationship for 1 year w/ this girl. I've caught her hooking up with someone early in the relationship (2 weeks) while she was away before, took her back after a few months of gaining my trust back. She went abroad for a few weeks, and got real shady towards the last week. She took a complete 180, telling me that she no longer has feelings. She's never told me this. She was pretty nasty about it, so I didn't talk to her for the rest of the week.

She comes home tomorrow, and if I know this girl, she will call and eventually ease her way back into the relationship. She emailed me today telling me that she still has feelings, but didn't feel like the feelings were equal with me (bs). I don't know if she cheated on me, and I really don't know if I will ever find out (I have a gut feeling she has). As I said, this has happened before.

How do I go about telling her that I don't want anything to do with her, without putting the emotional baggage on myself? I feel the best way to handle this is to not contact her, wait till she contacts me and just tell her honestly that I have lost feeling for her due to her being so confused. I'm not going to get mad, but be confident and happy. From there, hopefully my feelings start to go away (they're already half way there). This is extremely tough, as we've both been through a lot and have a lot of memories.. but if I can't trust her I don't think it's worth it to be hurt again.

Is there a better way to handle this?

 

[MacAvoy]

The Art of Walking Away - a thread about walking away

I posted the art of walking away a long time ago, obviously it fell on deaf ears.

One of the most empowering things a man can do is walk away when things aren't working out. It shows that you are strong and you deserve better. In my royal AFC days (in my 20's) I tried to clamour back, win the woman, beg for mercy, etc. I was pathetic ... and guess what? It got me nowhere.

Since I've learned the art of walking away, I'm happier, and more often than not it's the woman who is trying to lure me back.

Listen to Joekerr and me and others ... walk away with then the sh-t starts hitting the fan. I'm not saying leave at the first problem, but when major things happen (like psycho chicks screaming or freaking out or cheating or being mean) just walk away. Please, do it.

* One sentence I've NEVER heard in my lifetime: "You know what, when I was dating my wife, she was a real b-tch, but since we've gotten married, she's become really great."

It's the reverse of this folks ... they don't get better, so if they're bi-ching at you NOW in the dating stage (which is supposed to be fun), it will only get worse. You can bank on that ... and all your good deeds, efforts, and kindness will NOT change her.

So walk away.

 

[WC2]

Yeah, the problem is she has the upper hand ATM..

I'll most likely just cease contact with her after telling her I'm done and just spin my plates on other ladies.. if she comes back, I'll fvck her but that's about it