How to handle overanalyzing? (help!)

[LittleBigOne]

As not native English speaker it's hard to describe my problem but i will give it a try.
I've been here for already a long time and it sure helped me to approach girls. I am more confident and have less anxious feelings when i approach. But...

This happens to me all the time:
I approach a girl and i make her laugh but the convo keeps short. And then the troubles starts...
I start to overanalyse my behavour and what happened.
- Was i acting only funny?
- Why i could not keep up the conversation?
- Was i not calm enough?
- Why she keeps up a convo longer with another 'cool' looking guy?
- etc.
In a few words, i always have the idea i screw things up after a (might be) good start.
How to handle my overanalyzing, keep a positive mindset and keep things rolling with a girl without being needy?

LittleBigOne

 

[Lion]

If you go into the approach thinking bad things, those bad things will happen!
It's hard to help you without knowing some more... it could be your body language, the things you say, how you say those things.

 

[Deep Dish]

There is no such thing as overanalysis. Allow me to repeat, there is no such thing as thinking too much. It's not the quantity of thought but rather the quality of thought wherein things matter. You need to concentrate your focus. People used to frequently tell me I overanalyze everything but now nobody ever says that and I analyze just as much as ever! I realized there are only two times when you can rightly be said to be thinking too much: your analysis is wrong or when thinking impedes action.

Excerpt from Dark Dream's "The Holy Grail of Dating:"

Hunting Scenario: An Excellent Looking Prey is Spotted.

Prey looks very good.

AFC: Yes, a prey! I hope I don't screw up with this one. I should be extra cautious, no wait extra bold. I hope my spear is in good order. I did sharpen it, didn't I? [This continues].

Powerful Male: Prey appears to be worth the effort to hunt it. It is in a good position to strike.

Emotional fear is experienced.

AFC: My god, I don't know if I can do this. This is way too difficult for me. It's probably too much hassle anyway. Maybe in a minute I'll gather enough courage. [looks at spear]

Powerful Male: Is this fear warranted? I am not in a position where I can be harmed. The fear is unwarranted. [tosses spear]

AFC Result: In hesitation, the prey runs away and he looses his chance.

I suggest you read the whole essay (which I'm too lazy to link right now). It's a classic which I have never forgotten.

 

[Jeffst1980]

I 2nd Deep Dish's post. You MUST analyze the situation first if you want to achieve a specific outcome; don't fight your head, work with it.

It sounds like much of the difficulty stems from the language problem--I'd suggest you try to improve on that as much as possible, b/c that is a bit of a handicap on cold approaches.

Ideally, you want to come across as a natural when making a pickup. Naturals still analyze things, but they are so socially in tune that they are able to process more things simultaneously. The way to get there is to keep making approaches and jump at any opportunity to be social. I'd also recommend you check out Mehow's material; his approach is mostly to talk in high value sound bites, so it may be easier for you.

Good luck!