How to handle my security/jealousy problem

[Man Of Desire]

basically i have problems when guys come up to me while i'm with my girlfriend on a date. Now I know about amog'ing, but i always tend to come off rude when guys start to talk to me or the girl i am with. I basically come across has a prick, it works and the guys **** off, but some r just being friendly.

Today i had this tramp approach me he was asking for money, but just wanted to talk, but i acted like a total jerk and my girlfriend was like wow why were u so rude, i cudn't even believe it has i was on train it looked like i was going to beat this guy up.

In a sense with guys i should b more understanding because that was me at one point, but then again i know what guys r after. In some circumstances they will talk to u for first 30 seconds and then just give u cold shoulder and just start talking to the girl ur with. I am not really sure how to handle these situations, because in a sense i know u should b friendly so u come across confident, but shouldn't u also put ur guard up to, so these guys don't try to make a move?

I am also having problems when she talks about her guy friends a lot, on and on. Like it would b all friendly but she will keep mentioning this persons name again and again and after the first 57864487 times it starts to get annoying.

This is the barrier in my game at moment I really need help on this one guys. I know i come across has an idiot in this post, but i really want to get round this and stop it and become a better person. Thanks.

 

[Dstructor]

First off, i've had experience with being polite and then absoloutly haywire for the same reasoning so i kinda get what's going on if that's your case.

You said "This is the barrier in my game at moment"
This kinda tells me that you identify a good game with you getting along with everyone or you not feeling bad in any interaction with people. Put a pin on that one

Now, we have you being an a$$hole to people. You feel bad, you see them feeling hurt from what you told them or how you treated them and you see the other people that you were already hanging out with a bit defensive & condemning you for what you did...

Look back at a recent situation...can you find a reason or how it feels that made you want to be an a$$hole to someone who's coming to talk to you while you're with a girl ?

 

[Lexington]

These feelings of jealousy and anger stem from insecurity. You are not completely confident in your ability to keep your woman attracted to you. Even if you consciously believe yourself to be capable, subconsciously you are afraid.

If you're dating a girl, you have to assume that there's at least some attraction there for you. Is some guy really going to steal her away from you from right under your nose? It is possible, but if a girl would be that easy to win away from you, then she didn't like you very much in the first place.

You have to forcefully tell yourself that when these feelings emerge. Most of the times, guys who are your friends or people you know aren't going to just try and steal your woman from you. If they did try this, they wouldn't truly be your friends. Most people really do have better morals than that. And if people you know don't, then perhaps you shouldn't be associating yourself with them.

Feel secure in your ability to keep your woman. Hey....she CHOSE you! Some dude's pathetic pickup attempt isn't going to pry her away from you. That's especially the case when she's on a date with you and her defenses are up. If she is so easily wooed, then she wasn't the right girl for you anyway.

 

[Man Of Desire]

Thanks dstructor and lexington I know what u mean guys i have been feeling insecure, this is mainly due to my past sucess with girls who are in relationships. i been doing a lot of thinking lately on this. And if she wanted to cheat she would cheat and there is no way i can stop it. The reason i'm like this when "random" guys approach us is because when i was there i would first talk to the guy and then the girl. So i always think thats what there doing. But where do u draw the line from being friendly to getting them to stop if they start overdoing it.

 

[slaog]

Reminds me of something that happened me once a few years ago. I was with a bunch of good looking girls. I was below AFC at the time. A guy came up to me very friendly etc. I thought he was a nice friendly person. After a few minutes he started chatting up the girls.


We all went our seperate ways and I spotted him on the street with one of the girls (who was showing me interest earlier until she realised how AFC I was). I walked up to them said hi. The guy turned around looked at me and said nothing just looked away. I never felt like smacking somebody so much! lol :box:


If a guy comes up to chat to you and your girlfriend the only thing you can really do is be your DJ self. If you think he is trying to chat up your GF then ask him straight out is he looking for something? Ask him if he is a salesman and tell him you're not interested in buying anything. Take the p*ss out of him. That'll lower his value and make you higher value to your GF.

 

[Man Of Desire]

Hey slaog,i can see u know what i mean, thats the type of guys i'm always aware of (maybe a bit way to much). And the whole lowering there value is pretty much what i've been doing and getting them to piss off, but i think it just makes me come off super insecure and rude. But to b honest some of these guys need it, but then again some don't. I remember when i use to approach girls and the guy would come along, i would never overstay my welcome and just talk tiny bit more and leave.

I remember watching a dj in action though he was really good, my friend was chatting up the girl he was with and he was fine with it and then i came to distract this guy and he just ended up chatting to me nicely and actually hinted that he was dj. To be honest no guy was going to pull this chick off this guy, he had way to much energy and was leading the interaction. I can remember plenty of times where i have chatted to a girl and the guy just talks also and takes total control of the situation. How the hell do u become like that and if a guy seriously starts acting like a prick like in the slaog example do u jus lower his value and take the piss or just go "uh yeh sure...well....it was real...nice meeting u jimmy but we r heading off later". Or just something even like this "ahhh i c the whole talk to the guy and then the girl... real smooth....*whispers in girls ear loud* i think he likes u*"