How To Handle Contact With Flake @ Holiday Party?

[tincanman99]

A few months ago I was dating this woman at work. I got in way to fast. I was in control and doing well until we had a 5 hour make out session and than she turned aloof on me. I unfortunately became AFC again - being too nice, trying to please her, told her I liked her, etc....

After contacting her a few times and leaving a few messages I walked away. I cut off all contact with her.

Since than I have been getting busy, been out on dates, etc... In the last 60 days I have run into her a few times including one where she showed up at my office for no reason. Not sure why she keeps showing up other than to stroke her ego. I know women love to have hordes have male admirers.

This week my firm is having its annual holiday party. Its a pretty swank event and its formal. Its guaranteed she will be there. I have been told that its also guaranteed she will initiate contact with me as I have been ignoring her. Apparently women hate to be ignored.

Whats the best way to play this? I am not allowed to bring a date BTW.

 

[slaog]

A few months ago I was dating this woman at work. I got in way to fast. I was in control and doing well until we had a 5 hour make out session and than she turned aloof on me. I unfortunately became AFC again - being too nice, trying to please her, told her I liked her, etc....

After contacting her a few times and leaving a few messages I walked away. I cut off all contact with her.

Since than I have been getting busy, been out on dates, etc... In the last 60 days I have run into her a few times including one where she showed up at my office for no reason. Not sure why she keeps showing up other than to stroke her ego. I know women love to have hordes have male admirers.

This week my firm is having its annual holiday party. Its a pretty swank event and its formal. Its guaranteed she will be there. I have been told that its also guaranteed she will initiate contact with me as I have been ignoring her. Apparently women hate to be ignored.

Whats the best way to play this? I am not allowed to bring a date BTW.

Who told you this? A mutual friend??


Don't chase her whatever you do. The way to look at it is you gave her a chance with you and she blew it so she has alot of making up to do. Concentrate on other women at the party.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

Don't completely ignore her. I mean, if she says "Hi" be respectful and say Hi back. That's all you gotta do. Unless, she wants to make small talk. If she does talk to you. Tell her how great your life is and ect.

Just have fun at the party and mingle with everyone.

 

[tincanman99]

Who told you this? A mutual friend??


Don't chase her whatever you do. The way to look at it is you gave her a chance with you and she blew it so she has alot of making up to do. Concentrate on other women at the party.

My sister told me this. I have been telling her about the visits. I have been trying to understand how they think. My sister can be an uber bit** when she wants to be. She said its making her crazy I just cut her out of my life. I am not sure I buy it.

I had put this woman out of my mind and than she just keeps showing up in odd places with me. Last week I was in the executive conference center and when I walked out there she was. I totally ignored her like she wasnt there.

I wasnt planning on speaking to her. Her behavior was really rude even by player standards so I cut her off.

 

[Juanito]

wait a minute..

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t170758/

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t170142/

 

[tincanman99]

wait a minute..

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t170758/

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t170142/[/QUOT

It not only sounds like the same girl. I think it is the same girl. Very interesting.... This is like freakin inside information.

 

[Aragon034]

LMFAO at Loveshack!

that's classic. i'm tearing up from laughing so hard.

To OP, just be polite and respectful, show her you've moved on and aren't hung up. Or you can create an account at loveshack and yell at the bit**!!! :crackup:

 

[slaog]

Tincanman, I think it's a similar situation to the loveshack posts.

wait a minute..

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t170758/

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t170142/

This is essential viewing for everybody out there. If you want an idea of how a womans mind works then read this

I cannot believe this guy stopped calling me because I ignored a phone call, an email and some texts.

This is what she now believes. She said she has many men and no doubt they're all AFC's chasing after her but when 1 decided to ignore her (after she rudely ignored him 6 times) she "cannot believe" it.


Interesting too how she liked him, then he went all AFC, she got turned off and ignored him, he then ignores her and now she's crying about it.

 

[Juanito]

tincanman99,

are you gonna tell us what happened? lol

 

[j0n024]

Its the mans job to pursue the woman. I generally dont call back anyway.

So now what am I supposed to do?

Oh and I forgot to mention I was dating multiple men at the same time...

I love that little snippet of the women on LS.

First....she SAYS it's the mans job to pursue..

Second....She wont even go up to him and talk to him like an adult but stay back and wait for him...

Third....I love how everyone at LS totally just didnt read the part where she was Dating MULTIPLE people while trying to get with this guy...lol. If that was a guy he would be b1tched out and saying he doesnt really love anyone and something must be seriously wrong with him.

 

[tincanman99]

tincanman99,

are you gonna tell us what happened? lol

There is not really a whole lot to tell. There was no drama or fights .

She pursued me for about 6 months and I didnt bite. I had been warned by others that she was/is messed up and was a flake. Though I have to say she was cute and has a great rack. Seemed fun and perky.

I used to go flirt with her and chat her but never ask her out. I would go do this when I was bored at work. Anyway as time went on she became very aggressive towards me - ie. asking me when were we going to do lunch. I ignored it. God forbid she would schedule it. I would have to do it.

So finally I did it. Went out, had a great time. Kept it light and loose. Was fairly arrogant about it. Asked her if she was seeing someone - got an evasive answer. Filed it under red flags .

Went out with her a bunch more times till one night after work she made out with me for like 5 hours. Kept teasing me about sex but would not go home with me. I probably could have nailed her that night if I had pushed it but was trying to pace it out. ie. the infamous to much too soon.

The following week she was behaving more like a girlfriend than somebody I was just seeing. Mentioned a "platonic male hispanic friend" - filed it under more "red flags" .

Than the flaking started. She had moved that week and seemed exhausted. She became distant, etc..

I became way too nice. Total AFC. And her attitude got worse. One night I took her to dinner and a show (I already had tickets to the show). Dinner went great, show not so great.

One hour into the show she sat down and I could tell she was really tired. So being a nice guy, I asked whats wrong, do you want to go home? She said "do whatever you want". I was like ok, lets go home.

Here is when it went down hill. I said I will take you home and than go home. She said its ok, I will take a cab (we were in the city) and that was it. I got a peck on the cheek and a good night and that was it. That was the last time I spoke to her in person.

Than like a moron I txted her on the way home. Told her I wanted to see her again. No response. Sent an email telling her later I had a good time. Than nothing. I let it sit a week and than called her. No response. Finally I said "look, if you dont want to see me, just tell me". Of course no response.

So than I cut her off. I am not one of these guys that will pursue you forever, I cant be bothered with that crap. I have not spoken to her in almost 2 months now I guess. Have seen her a bunch of times but I totally ignored her. I subsequently found out she was also seeing my coworker at the same time and was lieing about it (the platonic hispanic friend).

F*** you, nobody is going to treat me like that. Granted I was a bit AFC but I did nothing bad to this girl. I treat you with respect and you act like a total c**t to me? Get a grip honey, I may be a bit AFC at times but I will not let anybody treat me like this.

Whatever, I havent spoke to her in all this time and have been on other dates including with a dancer (stripper) and a woman I met at a wine tasting event.

This woman is a bit of a flake and is unpredictable. Would I sleep with her - yep. Will I pursue her - absolutely not. As I cut off all contact, my sister said its probably making her crazy. Now that I saw those posts I would say its true.

The question is this to just stroke her ego or no? I could see this girl teasing me and than not putting out.

 

[slaog]

The question is this to just stroke her ego or no? I could see this girl teasing me and than not putting out.

She can try to tease you but you don't have to feel teased. Just be civil to her. It should not matter to you because she's nothing to you. If she wants to chase you then let her but she isn't relationship material.

 

[tincanman99]

She can try to tease you but you don't have to feel teased. Just be civil to her. It should not matter to you because she's nothing to you. If she wants to chase you then let her but she isn't relationship material.

This is true. I am interested at some level but its not what it was. I am not going to lie and say I would not nail her given the opportunity .

But as far as be involved with her in a relationship, nope. She has shown her true colors - she is a flake and has shown me disrespect :nono: .

 

[Jitterbug]

Wow, if those threads on LoveShack were really started by the same woman... she mentioned that she was sleeping with tincanman99's friend while she was flaking on him and shutting down his attempts. Only one person on that other forum picked that gem up!

I did something similar to a flake recently: completely ignoring her as if she's invisible - and we bumped into each other a lot. I wasn't being AFC and made her go flakey but she was playing way too hard to get and I couldn't be bothered. It drove her nuts that she was ignored to that extent. The final kick in the crotch was her seeing me with a new girl who's all over me.

 

[TheRealSupreme]

You handle yourself like a real man. Why be afraid of a female who missed out on you. She missed out on the best thing that ever could of happened in her miserable life.

 

[tincanman99]

I guess I am just having a bit of anxiety about seeing her again. When I cut them loose or they cut me loose I usually never hear or see them every again.

This is a very pointed lesson about messing around with coworkers.