how to handle a flake, when she is your girlfriend.

[mojo16]

title explains it all. really.

my girlfriend flakes on me. in every other area the relationship is normal and stable.

when she flakes it is always for a legitimate reason, but i think, and i hope most of you would agree that she should be jumping through hoops to see me all the time. or maybe this is too much to ask for.

anyways, my question is this. when she flakes, how should i respond?

no response?
tell her its cool and ill see her another time?

 

[thinkinblue613]

Hmm.. This is a tough one. You don't want to come off like a desperate boyfriend, but at the same time, you don't want to make her think you don't care.

I think the safest thing to do is keep yourself busy and not fret over it too much. You'll know when she is losing interest. She may be a busy girl, you should be busy, as well.

What kind of things does she flake on? When do plans ever go through?

 

[Alex DeLarge]

If you're comfortable with not seeing her too often keep her. Occupy yourself with other things or just do whatever you want. I wouldn't find this a problem at all unless you have a feeling she's fvcking around behind your back or you're not communicating enough.

 

[The_411]

Not a good sign ... It sounds like you are a place holder of sorts. Your girlfriend should be into you she can certainly say no to stuff but that should a very small amount of the time and that doesn't sound like its the case.

Wouldn't be shocked if she's cheating or going to branch swing very soon.

 

[Jay Dee]

Backoff, now. Once a week until she turns around, if at all. Heart protection mode.

 

[mojo16]

calm down guys she only flakes once every month or so. the question wasnt why does she flake.. it was how should i RESPOND.

jay dee: how does one backoff now, once a week? wut

 

[Diaforetikos]

If she has a legit reason to flake, why care? You aren't gonna get anything out of making her feel bad for her acting on her priorities. If you want to be a priority, find another woman. She obviously isn't giving you what you want.

And if she was flaking on you a lot, the answer is still the same. If you don't wannabe so drastic about it, then think to yourself that your single, and go be independent. You don't NEED her.

We are giving you these extreme answers because you asked. This is obviously a big problem for you if you feel you need to take the time out to start a thread about it. Those are our answers. Those are some options. Choose wisely and act accordingly.

 

[LE6END]

calm down guys she only flakes once every month or so. the question wasnt why does she flake.. it was how should i RESPOND.

jay dee: how does one backoff now, once a week? wut

Throwing everyone's advice back in their faces. Diaforetikos is right. Don't tell us to calm down; you're the one who's panicking because you don't know how to respond to your own girlfriend when she flakes, which, according to you, is 'once every month or so'---- something I personally don't see as a problem. Once every 3-4 weeks? Apparently, she's flaked before you created this thread, so how did you respond the previous instances?

I could be wrong, but I don't understand your concern here. If she sees you, with out fail/flaking, 3 weeks out of a month, and maybe the last week, a flake occurs, is that reason enough to make a thread about it? She couldn't see you one time. This is by your own words. As asked before, you've been dealing with this before you came here, as evidenced by "she only flakes once every month or so." Judging by the statement, she hadn't just began doing this yesterday. Clearly, then, You've had something to say to her up until now.

If, in fact, you've grown discontent with her flaking, and you want to express this to her in the proper way, (which would attach a reason of why you created this thread) then I have to tell you, I'm against it. Once every month is not reason enough to confront her. And to be frank, I think you're being unfair. Simply because you have too much time on your hands to be able to see her every single day, doesn't mean she does.

Some one above said stay busy. I recommend that as well.

 

[zekko]

For a girlfriend, I think one flake a month is a pretty large amount.
I can't recall a single time my girlfriend has flaked on me, in eight years.

What do you consider a legitimate reason for a flake? Why is she making plans with you if they are so likely to fall through so often? I think we need to know that information.

 

[ragerush]

my girl flakes on me alot she doing it this week we made plans to do what she likes doing i did it for her got it planed and then her sister like im going to Houston and then she like pause ok im going to after i had planed all this for her not 1st time she done it last one we broke up over it cause we got back together on some conditions one no more flaking on me if your say your ready actually be at ur house and if you say something actually keep your word and there nothing i hate more is people whos worlds mean **** . not to mention i dont alot more for her then she ever done for me !! so my plan is next time we do those stupied art walks that i hate going to and i always take the table to set up and sell im just going to be like no something came up when she get there not to mention last art walk was crap cause her stupid sister was saying that i look like a guy that would have sex with other women when i have never cheated on her say revenge is a dish best served cold cause she'lll never change and when i invite her place she also flake out if there far or if it a party