How to go from Coffee/Bar Date to Hook-up?

[Kenny Powers]

Please only give input if you have practical advice based on experience, not theory.

Recently got out of a 3 year relationship and been crushing it on dating apps (4 this week!), but I have trouble transitioning from initial dates to a hook-up.

For 1st dates I usually get drinks at a chill bar during the week and win them over with my charm, whit and general lack of douchebagness. For 2nd and 3rd dates I'll do drinks again, dinner, or brunch, but as the title implies im not 100% sure how to transition things into hooking up.

When I was younger I would just invite them out with my friends to a bar/party, we both consume alcohol and then a make out would happen naturally.

Now I'm older, in a new city and don't live near most of the girls I meet (can't walk them home). Plus these girls usually have plans with their friends on weekends, so idk if they'd be cool making out with me in front of them.

Do I schedule a date near my house then invite them back to watch a movie? Or make a move when I walk them to their car/bus? What works for you guys?

I haven't done this since college and it feels different with older girls in a big city. I'm ok not getting any by the 2nd or even 3rd date, but by the 4th definitely need to make a move at the latest.

Keep in mind I'm trying to get long-term plates, not a relationship or one time bang. So I'm worried something too romantic sends the wrong message. Going for a classy casual thing.

 

[El Payaso]

Invite her to your home. An important thing is to give her plausible deniability. What this means is you give her a mental excuse so she doesn't feel like a slvt. It also helps to break down her ASD a little.

An example is after a date, you tell her to come check out the guitar at your house that you told her about, or some obscure painting you had or that movie you guys talked about etc. It doesn't matter what it is. As long as the girl is interested, it didn't matter what you tell her, she will agree to come.

Plausible deniability is also good because when she's thinking about that night a few days later or telling her friend about it, she can just say "He wanted me to come see his guitar and give me a few lessons. He was just so romantic. One thing led to another and..."

You get the point.

 

[dustmuffin]

Invite her to your home. An important thing is to give her plausible deniability. What this means is you give her a mental excuse so she doesn't feel like a slvt. It also helps to break down her ASD a little.

An example is after a date, you tell her to come check out the guitar at your house that you told her about, or some obscure painting you had or that movie you guys talked about etc. It doesn't matter what it is. As long as the girl is interested, it didn't matter what you tell her, she will agree to come.

Plausible deniability is also good because when she's thinking about that night a few days later or telling her friend about it, she can just say "He wanted me to come see his guitar and give me a few lessons. He was just so romantic. One thing led to another and..."

You get the point.

This.....I do coffee dates and invite home all of the time. It works.