***How to go about rekindling a past relationship/love***

R.U.G.

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There's been a wave of a lot of bros who question why a past relationship (or plate) just died out and wanted to reach out and pickup where they left off. In general, this is a bad idea. As Rollo Tomassi has stated in the The Rational Male, never bring the trash back into your house. The trash, in this case, is the failed relationship. Now, I know, men are, in this case, sometimes ruled by their hearts and emotions. Statistically speaking, a woman is able to move on much faster than a man. This is because, men and women love each other differently.

So, the question is, @R.U.G., I really want to give it another shot. She was my one love (oneitis - avoid). We had something special (oneitis - avoid). I was wrong. She was wrong. We were both wrong. Whatever, it really doesn't matter. However, if you really want to get her back, there is only one way to do this somewhat successfully. I say somewhat as people do not change. Yea, she may be on her best behavior for a few months, but the old personality will come back. It's better to get another fresh woman that you do not have a previous bad experience with. It really doesn't matter if you broke it off with her, she broke it off with you, she gave you an ultimatum in order to keep her, or she even just wanted to hang out and be non-exclusive (I.E. Your a placeholder until something better comes along). Doesn't matter. For me, I wouldn't take a woman back. I've done it before, and we just break up later down the line because the same issues come back to destroy the relationship.

However, you can still give it another go if and only if she enters your frame. She has to reach out to you. You then don't just jump on her offer immediately like a rabid dog. You sit back for a few hours or a day or two and think about it. You then come back to her and say, how are you going to make it up to me? She will come back with question marks or a bit confused. You repeat, how are you going to make it up to me? She'll then say, what do you mean? You then say, come over and we can discuss over some wine and food. If she accepts, she's starting to enter your frame. You then can proceed to drink the wine, work the kino, get intimate and just repeat every time she reaches out. You DO NOT reach out to her. She'll wonder why you are not contacting her, so she'll reach out with the standard hey or hi. You just hit back and say, good to hear from you. I'd like to see you again, and set a date for her to come back to your place. After about a month, you can take her out of the dog house and then take her out to places that you want to go.

What you never ever want to do is reach out to her. That would make it appear you are entering her frame. She will have the control and she will be steering the ship so to speak. A lot of recent threads here are SS have men reaching out to old flames and questioning how to do this. Don't. Just don't. You'll have no frame and no control. You can only have frame and control if she reaches out to you.
 

princelydeeds

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Interesting... I could see this heading south quickly as soon as he gets comfortable and things get back to "normal".
 

LARaiders85

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It would have to have ended on terms other than loss of attraction, such as long distance, AND it would have to have ended on good terms without mistreatment by the one who chose to end it, AND she has to still be attractive to you.

1/8 of my exes qualify for that, it's that rare. Most women can't help but poison the well as a detachment technique when they dump, and can't help but take a lifetime resentment at you when you dump, even in the kindest manner.

Ex. 1 : Cluster B, single mom now, looks gone, dumped me BAD.
Ex. 2: I dumped for low value, no interest in reconnecting bc no chemistry.
Ex. 3: Dumped me for another guy from her past. We reconnected years later and she was such a resentful b1tch to me bc she is behind in life it's amazing lol.
Ex. 4: Lukewarm relationship, she moved for work. I'm not interested and TBH don't remember her last name and no phone # or Social media connection lol.
Ex. 5: "Soul mate" that turned into actual Sociopath, nuff said.
Ex. 6: A fling but ended well. Would absolutely marry, she is world class.
Ex. 7: If she had showed class in the way it ended I would take her back but she did not, at all(faded me out and picked fights), and at the same time exposed huge red flags. I don't blame her for ending it due to logistics though. More iffy on this than I should be.
Ex. 8: I dumped her for red flags, looks gone to hell.
 
Last edited:

DEEZEDBRAH

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There's been a wave of a lot of bros who question why a past relationship (or plate) just died out and wanted to reach out and pickup where they left off. In general, this is a bad idea. As Rollo Tomassi has stated in the The Rational Male, never bring the trash back into your house. The trash, in this case, is the failed relationship. Now, I know, men are, in this case, sometimes ruled by their hearts and emotions. Statistically speaking, a woman is able to move on much faster than a man. This is because, men and women love each other differently.

So, the question is, @R.U.G., I really want to give it another shot. She was my one love (oneitis - avoid). We had something special (oneitis - avoid). I was wrong. She was wrong. We were both wrong. Whatever, it really doesn't matter. However, if you really want to get her back, there is only one way to do this somewhat successfully. I say somewhat as people do not change. Yea, she may be on her best behavior for a few months, but the old personality will come back. It's better to get another fresh woman that you do not have a previous bad experience with. It really doesn't matter if you broke it off with her, she broke it off with you, she gave you an ultimatum in order to keep her, or she even just wanted to hang out and be non-exclusive (I.E. Your a placeholder until something better comes along). Doesn't matter. For me, I wouldn't take a woman back. I've done it before, and we just break up later down the line because the same issues come back to destroy the relationship.

However, you can still give it another go if and only if she enters your frame. She has to reach out to you. You then don't just jump on her offer immediately like a rabid dog. You sit back for a few hours or a day or two and think about it. You then come back to her and say, how are you going to make it up to me? She will come back with question marks or a bit confused. You repeat, how are you going to make it up to me? She'll then say, what do you mean? You then say, come over and we can discuss over some wine and food. If she accepts, she's starting to enter your frame. You then can proceed to drink the wine, work the kino, get intimate and just repeat every time she reaches out. You DO NOT reach out to her. She'll wonder why you are not contacting her, so she'll reach out with the standard hey or hi. You just hit back and say, good to hear from you. I'd like to see you again, and set a date for her to come back to your place. After about a month, you can take her out of the dog house and then take her out to places that you want to go.

What you never ever want to do is reach out to her. That would make it appear you are entering her frame. She will have the control and she will be steering the ship so to speak. A lot of recent threads here are SS have men reaching out to old flames and questioning how to do this. Don't. Just don't. You'll have no frame and no control. You can only have frame and control if she reaches out to you.
Never do it. On a dreadful dryspell, still don't do it.

If you must, take a throater and loser number. SrS.

Its like trash. Leave it at the curb.

It didnt workout before likely because she picked the bigge4 better prize wjen younger.

Women get worse not better with age.


#nextset
 

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daproest1

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I know you’re not supposed to, but I’ve seen many a time where the second time around the bond is stronger and ends up in a good marriage. I’m facing this dilema as we speak. Been about 5-6 months since the split. We were together 6 years. And I’ve been rattling my brain on how to get her back. Still no good ideas on how to do so. But to anyone else, I recommend preventative medicine. Don’t let it get to that point if you want to keep her.
 
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