how to get yourself out there...

[dodgekills]

What's up guys, I'm new to the forums. I've read a lot of post and stuff form the dj bible area. So I've been learning a lot here.

I was hoping some of you could help me out. I've been single for a year and half now. I'm pretty much a late bloomer by all aspects of women. It was my first LTR and it was really a great thing for me since it was the first time I'd been getting laid. lol After I broke up I thought it was going to be easy to start going out and dating all sorts of women. Because that was why I broke up in the first place, I wanted to experience more women before I settled down. More out of life, ya know.

Well time flies, Its been 1.5 years and I haven't gotten laid since. I think I've been making some ok progress this summer, but I realized how lucky I must of been to have gotten into my last relationship.

so basically, I've got a lot of good things going for me now. I've done very well in my line of work, I own my own place, etc, etc. But the thing that kills me the most is I can't the women. I don't really flaunt my money or nothing, but It amazes me how bad I'm failing at women. I live downtown, tons of women around me and I can't even get a freaken nice looking girl. Its my own fault, but I just want to change things.

I can talk and hold conversations, but I'm a big p*ssy and never engage women during the day. My friends never want to go out during the week days, so I feel like I'm on my own. Weekends are to few so I can rely on that crap anymore and most numbers I get turn into nothing anyways.

How do I meet people by myself? There is so much to do in a large like Chi-town, but Its hard for me to grasp the concept of going out by myself to "pick up" girls. How do some of you guys do it? I feel lost and I'm wasting my life not doing this stuff. I don't deserve to go unnoticed. Its BS because I have so much awesome opportunity right now its not even funny. I need help.

this is obviously a bit long of a post and I'm hoping to develop it further. I'll stop here for now.

thanks!

 

[ebracer05]

Find something you like to do... and do it.

And not something you're doing now. If you've got the time to wander around aimlessly looking for women to "pick-up", you can put better use to your time than roaming around the city by yourself.

Get involved in something and meet some people. Something you're interested in. Develop a group of friends and start going out places with them. You will meet a ton of people just through that.

For a personal example:

I was struggling through a similar situation last Christmas time. You can read some of my earlier posts if you want an idea of exactly how pathetic I was. I knew the "pick-up" material from being lazy and watching videos on my computer, but head knowledge does very little for you. You have to get out there and experience what it's like to put those concepts in to practice and make them your own. Actually interacting with people is a totally different experience than reading about it or watching it.

So that spring, I joined the competitive ballroom dance team at the school I go to. That was a big step for me, because I literally knew no one affiliated with the group. By the end of the semester, I was tight with at least 20 people. It was awkward at first. Horribly uncomfortable at first. But I did it. And I kept doing it. And eventually, I got through it. I met one of my best friends through that team, and because of the connections I've made especially with him, but everyone else too, I've at least trippled that number now. And because I've got these friends, some of them are girls, and many of them are very attractive, and when you can go out with your friends and have 2 or 3 very attractive females on your arm, it raises your status exponentially. Ballroom dancing is also an excellent remedy for the shy, approach anxious, a great exercise, and teaches your how to present yourself with excellent posture and develop a strong presence.

If you aren't interested in ballroom dancing, don't do it. But find something you're interested in and get involved in it. If you decide you don't like it or don't like the people, go somewhere else. You say you live in a big city. You've got huge opportunity. Work on yourself and make yourself a happy and fulfilled person with an exciting life. Then, you will be ready to meet women who will be able to accent that happiness (notice, I didn't say make you happy - I said accent what is already there).

If you do something like that I did and can't find at least one person you could be interested in, you either aren't trying or need to find a new thing to do.

 

[dodgekills]

thanks ebracer05. I'm not in college anymore, I just turned 30! But I get the idea. I've tried and been through that before and I can't come up with much. I suppose I need to take more risks in finding something new. I'm just tired of relying on bars. I shy away from going out late during the weeknights cause I hate working hungover the next day. I know someone who goes out alone during weekdays. The guy is total weirdo.

what are some things you others get yourself involved in during "normal hours" to meet people?