Going back to an ex is going to require some internal soul searching and some time. I would suggest some retrospection into what warning signs were present early on in the so-called relationship. There are a ton of reasons why people break up, so you might want to start there. Ask yourself, what is the motivating factor behind the reason why you insist on getting back with an ex. Is it for sex, are you just bored or lonely, do u feel no one will ever treat you that great again. You should note that you there are times when you can do everything right and still not get back with an ex. This is not full-proof but just some suggestions.
If you speed seduced a woman, got her in an aroused state and closed the deal…….you should leave it at that. Problems arise when you try to sustain that post coital magical moment. Women no longer are in that aroused state, they just got swept away in that moment. The attraction fizzled, the novelty effect has passed. Men who demonstrate any type of clingy behavior, one-it is, too soon often end up wondering what the heck just happened. Here’s some typical behavior patterns.
1) LETS TALK ABOUT THIS-they just broke up with you, so immediately you want to correct this before it blows out of proportion. That’s not always a great idea as people never just flip a coin and decide to break up that minute. Fact is they have been contemplating this for some time and decided to inform you today. Resist the urge right away to work things out.
2) USING LOGIC-rationalizing, playing therapist, analyzing the person seldom works in your favor.
3) RETROSPECTING-rehashing the past, going over all the mistakes they made or the fun times you had, not sound advice to follow either.
4) IS THERE SOMEONE ELSE-accusing them of cheating, starting a new relationship is also a means to an end. Be comfortable if they have a new flavor in their lives.
5) GETTING CLOSURE-some relationships just ran their course and fizzle, some people break up via text message. Wanting closure, the why it failed answers, do not always provide you with a immediate solution, unless you’re totally clueless.
6) EMOTIONAL-getting angry, informing them you loved them, trusted them and announcing how hurt you are, is a desperate attempt to get them back. Don’t act out of desperation, stop informing them how much u miss them, love them.
7) PERSUATION TACTICS-ah yet another desperate attempt to bribe them back into your life. All the flowers, gifts, poetry, emails, guilt trips, etc ain’t going to work here. Too little too late…..sorry dude. The more a person rejects you the harder you try…….then fail.
8) I CAN CHANGE-begging, informing you will change, you never knew and will try and do better in the future may sound nice but it’s actions, past behavior that will determine your fate. ANTI-ATTRACTION at it’s best
9) CAN WE STILL BE FRIENDS-being a friend when you just broke up is not the best advice. Yes some people do get along better as friends then lovers, that doesn’t mean you will get back with them one day. Some think that just cause some time has passed and boredom has set in that a booty call will re-ignite the relationship……..this seldom lasts.
10) JEALOUSY- a very powerful emotion and very immature. This act rarely reaps anything long term. Flaunting a new love interest may not create the desired result you anticipated. Should be used cautiously, they will see right through you.
HERES THE TO DO LIST THAT WILL WORK IN YOUR FAVOR.......
1) TIME HEALS MOST WOUNDS-you don’t want to call right away, allow some time to pass…..but not too much time. Nothings worse than a guy that continues to stalk (emails, IM’s, text messages, voicemail, phone calls, un-announced visits) the chic after she called it quits. The time duration in which someone gets back with an ex varies due to contributing factors (length of time you dated, how much emotional bonding there was, type of person, new person in their life, how you broke up, etc).
2) SILENCE IS GOLDEN-I know you may have a broken heart and getting rejected/dumped not to mention the silent treatment is killing you inside but you are going to have to suck it up and return the silence…….at least for awhile. Break this rule and you may cause irreparable damage. Suppress the urge to communicate with them right away. Blatantly ignoring your recent ex is not the solution, just give it some time.
3) CHANGE-actions speak volumes, make the changes you need to make in order to better yourself not just to reunite a past flame. Find the root of the break-up and incorporate a solution for future success.
4) DATE OTHERS-this will keep you pre-occupied, build your confidence back up and may even create a little jealousy if she knows your getting on fine without her. Don’t use this as a weapon to win her back but rather to demonstrate you are in demand, confident, and ok.
If you speed seduced a woman, got her in an aroused state and closed the deal…….you should leave it at that. Problems arise when you try to sustain that post coital magical moment. Women no longer are in that aroused state, they just got swept away in that moment. The attraction fizzled, the novelty effect has passed. Men who demonstrate any type of clingy behavior, one-it is, too soon often end up wondering what the heck just happened. Here’s some typical behavior patterns.
1) LETS TALK ABOUT THIS-they just broke up with you, so immediately you want to correct this before it blows out of proportion. That’s not always a great idea as people never just flip a coin and decide to break up that minute. Fact is they have been contemplating this for some time and decided to inform you today. Resist the urge right away to work things out.
2) USING LOGIC-rationalizing, playing therapist, analyzing the person seldom works in your favor.
3) RETROSPECTING-rehashing the past, going over all the mistakes they made or the fun times you had, not sound advice to follow either.
4) IS THERE SOMEONE ELSE-accusing them of cheating, starting a new relationship is also a means to an end. Be comfortable if they have a new flavor in their lives.
5) GETTING CLOSURE-some relationships just ran their course and fizzle, some people break up via text message. Wanting closure, the why it failed answers, do not always provide you with a immediate solution, unless you’re totally clueless.
6) EMOTIONAL-getting angry, informing them you loved them, trusted them and announcing how hurt you are, is a desperate attempt to get them back. Don’t act out of desperation, stop informing them how much u miss them, love them.
7) PERSUATION TACTICS-ah yet another desperate attempt to bribe them back into your life. All the flowers, gifts, poetry, emails, guilt trips, etc ain’t going to work here. Too little too late…..sorry dude. The more a person rejects you the harder you try…….then fail.
8) I CAN CHANGE-begging, informing you will change, you never knew and will try and do better in the future may sound nice but it’s actions, past behavior that will determine your fate. ANTI-ATTRACTION at it’s best
9) CAN WE STILL BE FRIENDS-being a friend when you just broke up is not the best advice. Yes some people do get along better as friends then lovers, that doesn’t mean you will get back with them one day. Some think that just cause some time has passed and boredom has set in that a booty call will re-ignite the relationship……..this seldom lasts.
10) JEALOUSY- a very powerful emotion and very immature. This act rarely reaps anything long term. Flaunting a new love interest may not create the desired result you anticipated. Should be used cautiously, they will see right through you.
HERES THE TO DO LIST THAT WILL WORK IN YOUR FAVOR.......
1) TIME HEALS MOST WOUNDS-you don’t want to call right away, allow some time to pass…..but not too much time. Nothings worse than a guy that continues to stalk (emails, IM’s, text messages, voicemail, phone calls, un-announced visits) the chic after she called it quits. The time duration in which someone gets back with an ex varies due to contributing factors (length of time you dated, how much emotional bonding there was, type of person, new person in their life, how you broke up, etc).
2) SILENCE IS GOLDEN-I know you may have a broken heart and getting rejected/dumped not to mention the silent treatment is killing you inside but you are going to have to suck it up and return the silence…….at least for awhile. Break this rule and you may cause irreparable damage. Suppress the urge to communicate with them right away. Blatantly ignoring your recent ex is not the solution, just give it some time.
3) CHANGE-actions speak volumes, make the changes you need to make in order to better yourself not just to reunite a past flame. Find the root of the break-up and incorporate a solution for future success.
4) DATE OTHERS-this will keep you pre-occupied, build your confidence back up and may even create a little jealousy if she knows your getting on fine without her. Don’t use this as a weapon to win her back but rather to demonstrate you are in demand, confident, and ok.
