hey guys, thought i'd take a moment to list some of the key things you should be doing if you want to land chics.
feel free to add...
1. create opportunities
this sounds complicated by its really not. instead of going through the drive through at the bank. park your car and go in and use the atm inside the bank. you aren't going to bump into a woman 'sitting in your car'.
instead of getting your groceries on sunday morning, go tuesday - thursday during the evening when more single people are shopping. heck, instead of getting your groceries all at one store, split it up between 3 different stores. get 1/3 of your groceries at each store. you never know who you will bump into.
make a commitment to yourself to stop in to the book store once a week. you don't have to buy anything. you can just go in, see what books they have, and leave after 30 minutes.
when you're at the local mall park at the far end of the mall, so that you have to walk all the way through the mall to get to the store you want.
small things like this create opportunities. sure, most of the time nothing will come from them. but every once in a while lightening might strike.
2. be around women.
this sounds silly but try to take up activities that involve women. so if you are looking to get in shape maybe take a kick boxing course or a yoga class, etc.. join a gym. take a cooking class or a wine tasting class. etc. you aren't going to meet women playing video games.
3. flirt ALL the time using eye contact
most of the problems guys on here have is they are terrible flirts. this is one of my problems as well - im prone to just zipping through a store not looking at anyone and just getting what i need and rushing out. but you have to make an effort to look the women around you in the eye. just a glance, not a stare down. if you are attracted to them smile afterwards (trust me, they are watching).
flirt with women at work, waitresses, cashiers, etc. the more you do it the easier it will get.
eye contact is half the game. if you're able to muster up the courage to tell her you like her shirt, or hairstyle, or the glasses she's wearing, etc. then you've closed the circle. eye contact + compliment = 100% flirting. pretty simple really.
4. be ready to close
closing is NOT complicated. sure, some guys run game and make it a big complicated process. but really, closing is as simple as "hey, listen, i've got to run. but what do you say we continue this coversation over coffee sometime?"
5. Focus on the process, NOT the outcome
approaching women and dating has to be seen as entertainment. too many guys focus on the outcome - ie. they approach and date solely to get laid. all they can think about is getting laid (which is the fastest way not to get laid). focus on flirting, approaching, the give and take with another human being, etc. - don't worry about when the one for you will show up. just enjoy the process. most of the guys who never get women HATE the process. the guys who land women a lot LOVE the process. they don't rush it. they flirt, they show interest, they don't rush things, they aren't 'needy'.
6. Be yourself
not everyone will agree with this, but its my view. there's no need to hide who you are. heck, you could tell a woman your a recently recovering cocain addict and she will still be interested in you PROVIDED you have a positive, mature attitude towards your life now.
so you don't have to hide who you are to score women. but you MUST show confidence and a sense of being at peace with yourself as well as a man who has a purpose in life. even if you aren't successful now, you have to exhibit that you have the intention to be successful one day.
7. always look your best when out in public
i'm not saying you have to put on a suit. but when you're out and about try to look your best. no wrinkled shirts and ratty shoes kind of thing.
8. don't be afraid of letting a woman know you like her
so many guys don't want to let a woman know they like her via flirting until they first get the sense that the woman likes them. come on guys, this ain't going to work! you can't wait for a woman to basically give you the green light before flirting - you have to flirt first. and you can't worry about flirting and a woman then reacting oddly to you.
i've been shot down in the past (on cold approaches). and i gotta tell ya, i've never had a bad experience being shot down. basically every single time it has happened the woman was polite and actually appreciated that i asked her out.
a woman is not going to freak out on you just becuase you show a little interest. the only time they might do that is if you are really creepy looking and you scare them. otherwise they will enjoy the attention, and if they aren't interested they will steer the conversation in directions that make it very hard for you to ask them out. for example,
you: hey thats a nice shirt
her: oh thank you so much. my boyfriend gave it to me for christmas. (she's politely shutting you down).
you: he's got good tastes (you politely acknowledge that and move on).
9. let people know you are single and looking
a lot of single guys don't want to talk about being single. its like a nasty little secret they hide from people. someone asks them 'so are you dating anyone?" and they reply "sort of. its not serious yet.'
no no no. OWN who you are. reply with "yep. still looking for miss right. not easy to find now a days."
you'd be surprised how many people will immediately, or perhaps even a week or two later, start suggesting 'oh well i know this woman, she's just great. let me give you her number."
anyway guys, just though id list some basics that i think are helpful in upping the women you meet and date.
add to the list if you think ive missed anything.
feel free to add...
1. create opportunities
this sounds complicated by its really not. instead of going through the drive through at the bank. park your car and go in and use the atm inside the bank. you aren't going to bump into a woman 'sitting in your car'.
instead of getting your groceries on sunday morning, go tuesday - thursday during the evening when more single people are shopping. heck, instead of getting your groceries all at one store, split it up between 3 different stores. get 1/3 of your groceries at each store. you never know who you will bump into.
make a commitment to yourself to stop in to the book store once a week. you don't have to buy anything. you can just go in, see what books they have, and leave after 30 minutes.
when you're at the local mall park at the far end of the mall, so that you have to walk all the way through the mall to get to the store you want.
small things like this create opportunities. sure, most of the time nothing will come from them. but every once in a while lightening might strike.
2. be around women.
this sounds silly but try to take up activities that involve women. so if you are looking to get in shape maybe take a kick boxing course or a yoga class, etc.. join a gym. take a cooking class or a wine tasting class. etc. you aren't going to meet women playing video games.
3. flirt ALL the time using eye contact
most of the problems guys on here have is they are terrible flirts. this is one of my problems as well - im prone to just zipping through a store not looking at anyone and just getting what i need and rushing out. but you have to make an effort to look the women around you in the eye. just a glance, not a stare down. if you are attracted to them smile afterwards (trust me, they are watching).
flirt with women at work, waitresses, cashiers, etc. the more you do it the easier it will get.
eye contact is half the game. if you're able to muster up the courage to tell her you like her shirt, or hairstyle, or the glasses she's wearing, etc. then you've closed the circle. eye contact + compliment = 100% flirting. pretty simple really.
4. be ready to close
closing is NOT complicated. sure, some guys run game and make it a big complicated process. but really, closing is as simple as "hey, listen, i've got to run. but what do you say we continue this coversation over coffee sometime?"
5. Focus on the process, NOT the outcome
approaching women and dating has to be seen as entertainment. too many guys focus on the outcome - ie. they approach and date solely to get laid. all they can think about is getting laid (which is the fastest way not to get laid). focus on flirting, approaching, the give and take with another human being, etc. - don't worry about when the one for you will show up. just enjoy the process. most of the guys who never get women HATE the process. the guys who land women a lot LOVE the process. they don't rush it. they flirt, they show interest, they don't rush things, they aren't 'needy'.
6. Be yourself
not everyone will agree with this, but its my view. there's no need to hide who you are. heck, you could tell a woman your a recently recovering cocain addict and she will still be interested in you PROVIDED you have a positive, mature attitude towards your life now.
so you don't have to hide who you are to score women. but you MUST show confidence and a sense of being at peace with yourself as well as a man who has a purpose in life. even if you aren't successful now, you have to exhibit that you have the intention to be successful one day.
7. always look your best when out in public
i'm not saying you have to put on a suit. but when you're out and about try to look your best. no wrinkled shirts and ratty shoes kind of thing.
8. don't be afraid of letting a woman know you like her
so many guys don't want to let a woman know they like her via flirting until they first get the sense that the woman likes them. come on guys, this ain't going to work! you can't wait for a woman to basically give you the green light before flirting - you have to flirt first. and you can't worry about flirting and a woman then reacting oddly to you.
i've been shot down in the past (on cold approaches). and i gotta tell ya, i've never had a bad experience being shot down. basically every single time it has happened the woman was polite and actually appreciated that i asked her out.
a woman is not going to freak out on you just becuase you show a little interest. the only time they might do that is if you are really creepy looking and you scare them. otherwise they will enjoy the attention, and if they aren't interested they will steer the conversation in directions that make it very hard for you to ask them out. for example,
you: hey thats a nice shirt
her: oh thank you so much. my boyfriend gave it to me for christmas. (she's politely shutting you down).
you: he's got good tastes (you politely acknowledge that and move on).
9. let people know you are single and looking
a lot of single guys don't want to talk about being single. its like a nasty little secret they hide from people. someone asks them 'so are you dating anyone?" and they reply "sort of. its not serious yet.'
no no no. OWN who you are. reply with "yep. still looking for miss right. not easy to find now a days."
you'd be surprised how many people will immediately, or perhaps even a week or two later, start suggesting 'oh well i know this woman, she's just great. let me give you her number."
anyway guys, just though id list some basics that i think are helpful in upping the women you meet and date.
add to the list if you think ive missed anything.
