how to get women to relax

[someperson1987]

I apologize if this has already been asked but i am unable to find any thread specifically dealing with this.

How to you get girls to relax a bit and be more sexual (may not be the best word). I find its hard for me to get any girls to relax.
Girls (there are always the more daring ones) around me are generally so uptight. Its hard getting a conversation across sometimes without alot of work.

It not cause they think im appalling because I get check out quite a bit (say im an 8-8.5 range depends on the person). I've found out alot girls liked me but it was NEVER obvious (actually, i thought about 80% HATED me). Are they just uptight about me not liking them (I'm kinda shy so that doesn't help either)? I'm working on deshying but i still got a long way.

For example, I've, in the past, try to talk to some girl and i thought that she resented me (cold body language) but later i find out she had a crush on me.

A friend of mine who is pretty close in looks but girls have no problems kissing him, hugging him and stuff other intimate stuff like that. I have no idea how he pulls it.

Any ideas?

 

[someperson1987]

anyone have some input cause this would be really helpful. I'd be good if i could overcome this.

 

[sharpshooter]

You just stated the problem out yourself man, it's your shyness. Well i'm picturing you being nervous and the girls are feeding off of your nervousness/awkward energy. It'll come with practice and time, but just try to loosen up when you're around women. Remember YOU should be the one relaxed first.

 

[dj tre]

it has somthing to do with asking like... personal kinds of questions. get her out of her comfort zone a little and things will soften up. this was mentioned somewhere in another post but im not sure where.

*searches dj bible.....*

ok i didnt find anything but the post said somthing about asking her questions that "opened up all the drawers in her mind and got her to try on clothes that she hadnt worn for a while" or somthin to that effect. not sure how to explain, can someone else help here?

 

[someperson1987]

you seem to have interesting advice........you mind to elaborate a bit

 

[someperson1987]

anyone else plz.................I thought there was alot of good advice coming

 

[ScrewIt]

compare your friend's aura/charm/personality/body language when he interacts with women compared ot you.

find out what makes him click with the ladies...find out what it is your lacking or not presenting to them.

also remember that guy's that smile often are often immediately found more attractive to women than someone that doesnt. believe me girls notice small things like these.

 

[someperson1987]

Well i wouldn't say he has anything more going for him than me.
Maybe he's just less shy.

 

[someperson1987]

my friend.....well kinda likes to openly talk about sex (on occasions) but i never really liked doing that. Do i really have to start?

 

[score]

Okay, Screwit gave you some solid advice. This may seem too global but you really do have to study what your friend (or other guys that get the results you want) is doing. It's easy to look at Brad Pitt and think "oh sure" he's got the women no prob. Harder to look at a friend and think "why the heck is he getting action, he's not more good looking, etc. etc." The key point you already brought up.

He's doing something DIFFERENT than what you are.

It may not seem like much but that can make all the difference in the world. "Maybe he's just less shy" OKAY that is huge right there. "talk openly about sex" well you may have to start...also huge, but study HOW he is doing it. Depends on your style but you may have to stretch your comfort zone.

Okay you seem to want some tactics so here goes my personal success plan. I never ask permission to touch, kiss, fondle, etc. I just do it. This slightly brazen approach seems to relax them. I stumbled upon this by accident (accompanied by a few stiff drinks) and for the g0d-d@mn life of me I don't really know why this works so well.

If you act like you just stepped out of finishing school, be chivalrous, stand on protocol and make a big deal out of ANYTHING it just tenses them up like you wouldn't believe. I never ask to take a woman home, I just head off like it's the most natural thing in the world and you'd think they were hypnotized, they just follow me right in and they're RELAXED the entire time. No big deal at all.

 

[Tha Realnezz]

Social proof, Joke around with your buddies and give her some conversational ammo..

 

[Giuseppe Notte]

People tend to reflect your own state.

If you are tensed, they will sense it and become more tense in your presence. If you are relaxed, they will feel you to be unthreatening and relax as well.

You can control people by projecting your state and presence towards them. If you project that you are shy, this is what you will get.

Now decide what you want to project and act accordingly. How about "loose confidence"?