How to get things going with female friend of ex?

[Maxinulm]

Hi guys,

so my recent ex-gf has a girl friend. That friend of hers has always kind of shown interest in me while i was with her ex. e.g. "Wow i love your blue eyes" when i first met her... I also went out with her alone while my ex was out of town. Had the gut feeling, that there was some kind of chemistry between us. But nothing happened and i didnt want to at the time. My ex even told me that her female friend had a friends with benefits with an ex-bf of my ex-gf and even a relationshiip with another ex-bf of my ex. My ex was kind of jealous or "afraid" that something might happen.

Now after things with my ex ended, i would like to get things going with that female. I ended contact with my ex-gf maybe 2 months ago. My ex still tries to call 2 times a week and seems to have a hard time...

So whats the best way to do it? I am sure, that if i write on whatsapp or insta, she will forward the message to my ex. I think now its too early for something like that!? Best thing would maybe be to meet her just luckily "out of nowhere" somewhere by chance and start interacting with her.

Thanks

 

[bat soup]

So whats the best way to do it? I am sure, that if i write on whatsapp or insta, she will forward the message to my ex.

She won't do that unless she's a complete moron and/or not interested, in which case there's your answer and you can forget them both and move on. Since she showed interest before, there's a high chance she would respond positively.

 

[MoMoses]

My ex even told me that her female friend had a friends with benefits with an ex-bf of my ex-gf and even a relationshiip with another ex-bf of my ex. My ex was kind of jealous or "afraid" that something might happen.

This screams issues and insecurity so loud the neighbours might call it in.

It also screams accessible. I'm a pragmatic dude.

Just be bold and shoot her a message yourself. The higher the risk, the higher the reward if all goes well. If she isn't interested and tells you ex.. so what? It's not like you're still hanging out with your ex. You've got nothing to lose man.

If you text her and she says no you don't get the girl and your ex will back off.
If you don't do anything you don't get the girl and your ex keeps calling.
If you text her and she wants to meet up, you may get the girl and your ex will back off

I see three possibilities and all three of them have an upside!

But if you really don't wanna contact her.. I get it.. in a way it's better if the girl contacts you herself. This means high interest!

Do you have this girl on Facebook?

You could for instance upload a photo where you, her and someone else are on and tag her. She'll have a reason to reach out herself if she wants to..

Good luck!

 

[Maxinulm]

This screams issues and insecurity so loud the neighbours might call it in.

It also screams accessible. I'm a pragmatic dude.

Just be bold and shoot her a message yourself. The higher the risk, the higher the reward if all goes well. If she isn't interested and tells you ex.. so what? It's not like you're still hanging out with your ex. You've got nothing to lose man.

If you text her and she says no you don't get the girl and your ex will back off.
If you don't do anything you don't get the girl and your ex keeps calling.
If you text her and she wants to meet up, you may get the girl and your ex will back off

I see three possibilities and all three of them have an upside!

But if you really don't wanna contact her.. I get it.. in a way it's better if the girl contacts you herself. This means high interest!

Do you have this girl on Facebook?

You could for instance upload a photo where you, her and someone else are on and tag her. She'll have a reason to reach out herself if she wants to..

Good luck!

You are so damn right about the three possibilities. I think i might just wait another 1 or 2 months and then will do something.

Eather directly send a message or answer a story of hers on instagram in a way that "provokes" a reaction.
Best thing would really to let her come or contact. But girls are just passive or want to be conquered. And they want things "to just happen". In a way, that its not their responsibility

I think i also might have some pictures of our "night out" last year. Maybe this could be the connecting thing...

 

[Barrister]

Hi guys,

so my recent ex-gf has a girl friend. That friend of hers has always kind of shown interest in me while i was with her ex. e.g. "Wow i love your blue eyes" when i first met her... I also went out with her alone while my ex was out of town. Had the gut feeling, that there was some kind of chemistry between us. But nothing happened and i didnt want to at the time. My ex even told me that her female friend had a friends with benefits with an ex-bf of my ex-gf and even a relationshiip with another ex-bf of my ex. My ex was kind of jealous or "afraid" that something might happen.

Now after things with my ex ended, i would like to get things going with that female. I ended contact with my ex-gf maybe 2 months ago. My ex still tries to call 2 times a week and seems to have a hard time...

So whats the best way to do it? I am sure, that if i write on whatsapp or insta, she will forward the message to my ex. I think now its too early for something like that!? Best thing would maybe be to meet her just luckily "out of nowhere" somewhere by chance and start interacting with her.

Thanks

I have gone through this before. I won't say it is impossible -- but you have so much to overcome to make it happen I don't think it is going to be worth the amount of effort you expend just for an extremely small chance that something *may* happen.

If they are very good friends then don't bother. Even if she finds you attractive she isn't going to jeopardize her friendship with your ex just for you two to bang a few times.

 

[Maxinulm]

I have gone through this before. I won't say it is impossible -- but you have so much to overcome to make it happen I don't think it is going to be worth the amount of effort you expend just for an extremely small chance that something *may* happen.

If they are very good friends then don't bother. Even if she finds you attractive she isn't going to jeopardize her friendship with your ex just for you two to bang a few times.

They arent very good friends. Just normal friends.

And the other one had something with two ex-bfs of my ex-girlfriend.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

How to get things going with female friend of ex?

Best way ever to make those two girls sending nukes at each other and start world war three..

lol

If you want real serious drama in your life.. then just do it!

 

[MoMoses]

Eather directly send a message or answer a story of hers on instagram in a way that "provokes" a reaction.
Best thing would really to let her come or contact. But girls are just passive or want to be conquered. And they want things "to just happen". In a way, that its not their responsibility

Ding ding ding! Winning answer

Girls want the guy to take action. They want the guy to get the clues and be able to be a mind reader who knows when is the right time to contact them/approach them/ask them out.

That's why it's a powerful trick to make it look or feel like things are just happening as you're giving her an excuse to contact you. It'll be innocent and non-direct when she does, but it's a hint you should take it further from there.

You know how it goes down. That's for sure