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How to get the hot bartender (advanced)

evansblue

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This comes from personal experience, and has worked for me three times. We all know it's next to impossible to just waltz up to the smoking hot bartender, get the number and actually pique her interest. They've been hit on a million times, heard every line, drunk guys, sober guys, etc.

If you want to get in their pants, you have to get in their head. This requires you to have a certain amount of plates spinning, but you can kill two birds with one stone with this technique. Now these hotties work the weekends, but they're usually scheduled on a slow day or two during the week - a Monday or Tuesday.

What I did was bring a plate of mine in to the bar EVERY Monday night (around 7 or 8 o'clock) for a drink or two when the hottie was working. This is ideally the best time because it's going to be extremely slow, and there probably won't be many people in the bar (if any). When I walk in, we're usually the only two people there. I did this for about two months in a row, and this created an immense amount of social value. After a while, when I walked in with a plate, the HB 9 bartender would have this wry half smile, almost holding back laughter. She definitely was amused and this incited her curiosity.

I worked game on my plates, and on the bartender without her even knowing it. She's going to remember you, so try to keep the conversation with your plate neutral, at least when she's around. This is important for the final step.

After you do this consistently for a couple months and you know the bartender recognizes you (her facial expressions will give it away), take two months off from that particular bar and bring the plates somewhere else.

Now after two months have passed, go back to the bar where the hottie works. This time by yourself, and during the weekend when it's packed. I guarantee you she will remember you. Bartenders have a phenomenal memory. The real mind fvck here is that you're sending the impression she isn't going to remember you.

At this point, you've already established social value, mystery, and confidence. I call this "The Big 3". Now you go up to her (again, Saturday night, alone, when there's tons of people), and act like you never saw her before. Order two shots. This is implying you're with somebody. Now you go for the number. Tell her:

You are a cutie. We gotta grab a drink sometime when you're not busy. What's your number?

Now she's either going to play dumb, or say something like "Am I going to be in rotation with all those other girls you brought here?" Just smile, feign being surprised and say "Oh no, those were just my friends." Get the number, and walk off with the two shots (make sure she can't see you.) Down the two shots, and leave the bar. I repeat, leave the bar. She will be looking for you, and will think you're with someone, but won't be able to find you because you disappeared into the crowd and left. A little extra mystery for good measure.

Am I devious or what? lol
 

bigneil

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Two months?

The last 3 bartenders I picked up gave me their number on the second visit.

Just:

1) Look good.
2) Make eye contact.
3) Ask her name.
4) (Hope she asks yours and shakes your hand).
5) Return a second time and hope she remembers your name.
6) Ask her if she's single.
7) Get her number.
8) Kiss her goodbye boldly.
9) Text her.
10) Set up a date.

Even then, many will reveal they have boyfriends, etc. but you're still in the game.
 

evansblue

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The majority of that list is what 99% of other guys do, and that's why it doesn't work. And you never, ever ask if a girl is single. That's bush league.
 

bigneil

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Well it works for me approximately 3000% faster than your method (2 days versus 2 months).

I've asked every girl I've dated for the past 2 years if they were single. As if your particular words matters when they have high interest. Paraphrase if you want. It's getting to the point. You should know communication is 85% nonverbal and they are reacting (feeling attraction) with their reptilian instinctive brain early on. By the time we get to know them they are acting with their logical brain complete with a list of our flaws. We need to have escalated prior to that.

2 months after meeting is where you should be having the best sex, not getting a date.
 

Fly By Night

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I would think hanging out at her job for 2 months straight would slowly erode you of your "mystery". This also assumes that I got tons of women already throwing themselves on me. (which I am not yet there)

If anything, these hot bartenders seem more like trophy lays to the OP if he's willing to donate that much time into her.
 

SgtSplacker

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I visit the same bars all the time and i'm always friendly with the bartenders. I totally notice the ones that kinda might like me paying a little more attention if I take a date. I have to be careful what dates I take where, if it's a new plate I can assume we are not going to be all over each other so i'll take her to the "harem bar" so the bartenders see me with a new girl with some nice IL and sexual tension there. Otherwise i'll pick a better darker spot for the slobber fest. Then I make sure to hit the bar with my friends another day so I can game the bartender/server that showed the most interest last time. My friends must think i'm crazy i'm always trying to get them to go to particular bars and I never really tell them why i'm picking it. They would prolly think i'm crazy with all these elaborate schemes.
 

bigneil

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By the time you leave after meeting them for the first time they will have talked to the waitresses about you and your status has been determined. You know they like you when the random barmaids who walk by are smiling also, because they are talking about you in the back. You need to be the prize.
 

bigneil

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remotecontrol said:
your telling her right off the bat you want her..without even making her attracted to you first..this is a huge turn off...big chump move...your supposed to charm her into wanting you...not tell her you want her as soon as you ask her damn name...
By the time I ask "are you single" I've already charmed her and already know she's attracted because she:

1) Shook my hand (initiated touch).
2) Remembered my name the second time (liked me enough).
3) Showed strong body language.

I didn't say you ask her name and if she's single in the same sentence - or even same day.

I'm saying in the last 2 years I've asked 40 women "Are you single?" and 38 said yes and gave me their numbers and I dated 10 of them.

To say that saying 3 words (or the equivalent) of that nature is a chump move is absurd, and demonstrably wrong.

But go ahead and spend 2 months instead of 2 days and lose the excitement of kissing a stranger.
 

Chamber36

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Very interesting thread....

It all has to do with confidence and boldness really. And your tactic sounds pretty damn good bigneil. Bringing plates around the venue is a good tactic as well, and it could obviously work to pick up women, but not everyone has plates at their expense every monday, for 8 weeks. And spending 4 months on one girl seems more like hell difficulty than advanced. I thought the OP's style was all about going in and getting out quick, like a stealth assassin on a killing spree. This advice is the exact opposite of how he said to get a ONS.

I got to ask you a question though bigneil: When you visit the venue twice, you don't do it twice in one weekend, do you? Because I work in a bar, and if I see a girl in the club for the first time, and she returns the next day, that's a major turn-off for me. I don't know why, but I prefer if a chick comes back a whole week later.

Asking if a girl is single, once you've reached a certain confidence level, could be quite effective, I think. It lets girls know that you don't want to mess around with 'taken' women, and that you want to get straight to business with her. I imagine you need to make her chase be being scarce first though.

Personally I really hate beating around the bush, so I must say that's a good tactic.

To all the haters of bigneil's tactics: some women don't beat around the bush either. One time I had a bartender approach me, so I asked her number, and she told me her boyfriend didn't want her to cheat. I asked her if it was likely her boyfriend or a friend of his was watching, lol. She said she didn't know. Ended up not getting the number. Chickened out. Was a funny inter-action though. That's apparently how it goes in Amsterdam. But the point is: she got straight down to business. Before I could even come up with a time-bridge, she was talking about her boyfriend getting mad at her for cheating...

Plus, the idea you want a chick to be single might also sort of give her motivation to act more like a 'good girl' instead of ****-testing you at every given moment and flirting with other guys.

PLUS: It's not what you say, but how you say it that matters.
 
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DavenJuan

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My fiancee' is a bartender, and thats actually how we met.

There is no big difference between bartenders or any other woman you are TRUELY interested in.

the only distinct difference as far as APPROACH is that the bartender is more than likely ready to aggressively push you off considering they get hit on constantly at work, not to mention the frustrations of being a bartender in itself. dealing with drunk men AND women and taking orders form obnoxious patrons every now and then.

IMO, if you are truely interested in a bartender, you have to show geniune interest. alot of men approach bartenders just because they are the only woman available in that particular establishment

waiting 2 months to set up a game plan to approach seems unrealistic and unproductive.

1. Just with any other woman, VALUE needs to be demonstrated. WHY are you there in the bar? being a regular patron in there 2 or 3 times a week doesnt work in your favor. You tend to get to know the other patrons, and now catorgorized as just that, ANOTHER PATRON.

2. Let her know you are interested in getting to know more about her. that doesnt necessarly mean immediately ask her out. Take advantage of the fact that she is in fact there to keep you company. chat her up. get to know one another. Most bartenders are more interested when they know that you have other things OUTSIDE the bar going on.

3. if your social skills are in tact, and youve had the opportunity to chat with her and she has reciprocated, ASK HER OUT. there really isnt a science to this. the reality is, if she is interested, she will let you know. if she isnt, you will also know.

keep in mind, alot of people in the "industry" tend to hook up with one another quite often. be careful what you say about other workers and bartenders, because it could easily get back to them.
 
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