How To Get Over "Online Dating Is For Losers" Belief

[TheManOfSteel]

Ok title pretty much says it all. I'm sure with the way the world is changing with online, social networking, etc... online dating is more and more common. I've always felt personally that online dating is for people who couldn't meet people "the old fashioned way." However, I find myself in a bit of a dry-spill with the ladies over the last year. On the flip-side, everything else is going great... I'm young, educated, in great shape, work is going well, I'm by no means fugly, yadda yadda... It's quite the paradox, because this site's mantra is kind of like "better yourself and the women come running" right?

I've come to realize though that between working 9 hour days, and going straight to the gym after work 5-6 days a week, by the time I have a spare minute I just want to relax for an hour and then go to bed. I work in an environment where there are quite a few young attractive girls (mostly married or with boyfriends), hell... it's where I met my last girlfriend, so my game isn't completely stale since I just flirt/joke around with them. Gaming time is really down to the weekends now though. I'm not a big bar person anymore after graduating college though, and HATE trying to talk to people when you can't hear a damn thing at the bar. I don't drink a whole lot anymore either. So I understand my lack of success has stemmed more from a lack of opportunities rather than anything lacking in myself. Can somebody give me experiences good or bad w/ online dating and how you get over that "why the hell has it come to this?" feeling

Let me hear it Suavers.

 

[backbreaker]

who says it just a belief lol? online dating is what rollo T would call a "buffer".

 

[KarmaSutra]

Online dating is for losers.
However, I'll exclude Facebook from this as I've had two girls come to my house just this week who I meet from FB.

Fvcking your own paws and saying you got a handjob from a hot dude is still gay.

So is your post.

Online dating is the way of the future. Live with it, adapt to it, do it.

It's not the only way, but it's certainly the easiest way to meet hot, available women.

The only caveat is you have to be a bit more aware of these b!tches and a little more discerning before you jump to go meet them.

The best thing about dating on them internets is, most of the work is all done.

The trick? Neg. Neg her hard, neg her fast, neg her often. She'll appreciate it.

Also, be grammatically sound. Even if she's not, it pays to give a sh!t about your own proper vernacular.

 

[runner83]

Read this:

Stop using Internet Dating as a Buffer and grow a F@ckin’ Pair

It obviously depends on which camp you are in.

If you are a busy dude and you are simply using it to gain access to the widest variety of pvssy around (I feel ya brah, I'll probably go back to it once I'm working out of town during weeks, to line up weekend action), that's fine.

But if you are using it as an excuse to avoid taking action in the real world, it can be bad.

 

[LoneWolf]

the girl i am seeing right now i met through online dating website. i don't recommend dating websites though, it's very tiring and you get a lot of rejections. even when you do get some game going on with some girls, it's still hard work with all the stupid back n forth messages once a week until you meet.

i've tried dating sites a few times, deleted the profile, got back into it and i guess out of over 100 or more girls i've contacted i got lucky with some. i had 3 dates and still had opportunity for more but the girl im with now, i'm glad i met her. she's great so far. but like i said, it's very tiring work trying to find a nice girl online. there's a lot of dumb b1thces online.

i don't drink either or go to bars/clubs like yourself, so that limits us in a way. though i don't really like drinking/partying girls anyway.

 

[handle]

It seems like it's a lot less fun than real life dating... Don't you enjoy meeting people in real life? I'm in front of a screen enough for work, etc.

I'm not saying it won't work, but it sure is a lot more boring than seeing some hot girl in real life and going up to her.

 

[Nikoli]

How do you get over the feeling? You go online and see how many hot girls are on there these days. You line something up with one of them, take em on a couple dates, and hook up at her place or yours. Then you log back on your computer and do it again with another...

That level of quality women that can be found on line has been steadily going up in leaps and bounds in the past couple years to the point now that any major city or metropolis is going to have a very big pool of quality 8-9 girls and a whole lot more 6-7's for you to choose from. As we become more computerized and plugged into our technology this is only going to rise. At the same time society has become less social outside these technological facets and people are busier and busier as econimic and social trends push people to work longer, harder, more hours well logging more time commuting.

That being said there still is a very unique set of challenges for males on this site as the top eschelon of girls receive a very large number of messages that they need to weed through. You need to be unique and find that thing that seperates you from the pack. No shirtless pics, no pics with kids. Put a few action shots on your profile, one or two recent head shots and keep your profile short ansd sweet, listing your passions and hobbies.

Once you start engaging remember to add a bit of edge to your messages. Don't go over the top with too much innuendo as girls get a lot of creeps creepin on them. Adapt a number mind set and mass message a bunch at a time that tickle your fancy. Always good to target the newbies too as they're usually new to the city and/or new to the online world and this will increase your chances tenfold.

Also another huge advantage to online is the knowledge that most of these girls are available and at a point where they are ready to meet you. So often when you meet a girl in a social setting your left guessing if she's single.

In short get on line, get some pics, start flirting, and STOP worrying you're a loser. There's thousands of beautiful ELIGIBLE girls on there waiting to meet you.

 

[LoneWolf]

there really isn't much difference meeting someone online vs offline. because when you actually do meet them for the first time it feels like you didn't even meet online. i've met plenty of girls from the internet but when you meet them in real life it's as if you never met before and are total strangers even though you have chat before. you have an advantage though, knowing a little about her before you meet. plus you probably meet them knowing she's interested in you already

 

[vatoloco]

Here.

 

[Naughty Ninja]

You can have good success with the Plenty of Fishsticks if you can talk like a regular person and control your emotions. See my inbox below...I have several give me their numbers and want to meet. I've been busy as hell the past few weeks so I'll see. It's only to be used as a suppliment to real life meeting everyday people.


44 NEW MESSAGES | SEARCH | ONLINE (188165) | HELP | MEET ME | CHEMISTRY | MY PROFILE | UPGRADE | Log Out My Matches | Will Respond | Sent Msg | New Users | Favorites | Images | Edit Profile | My City | Viewed Me

 

[TheManOfSteel]

Also another huge advantage to online is the knowledge that most of these girls are available and at a point where they are ready to meet you. So often when you meet a girl in a social setting your left guessing if she's single.

In short get on line, get some pics, start flirting, and STOP worrying you're a loser. There's thousands of beautiful ELIGIBLE girls on there waiting to meet you.

Very true, I'd say my biggest roadblock from approaching girls is because I assume if they are hot, they are not single. I guess it comes from experience. I have standards... I take care of myself, got educated, and have a pretty good job, so i expect the girl I go after to have maybe 2 of the 3. Lately the handful of girls that I've approached for numbers all have boyfriends. Fair enough, most hot girls don't stay single for long.

I'm definitely not planning on using this as a crutch, I'm a part-time investor so I guess I'll call it diversification of my dating pool. I don't have much going on through the usual avenues, so it's time to allocate some assets elsewhere to pull some ass...

If anything it helps to at least be out there with women. There are some girls within my company who are hot, have quite a bit in common with me, and give me IOIs, but have boyfriends (funny right?). I just feel like I'm losing my sex appeal because they never hear about me with other girls in the picture. One in particular I'm kind of interested in, so just getting it out there that I see people shouldn't hurt you know? Girls want what other girls want, yadda yadda...

I think I'll put up a pretty barebones profile somewhere this weekend and just give it a go. I suppose the worst that could happen is some of my friends could see it and give me crap...

 

[rum]

Online dating is for losers.
However, I'll exclude Facebook from this as I've had two girls come to my house just this week who I meet from FB.

Other than that, I'm not about to make a profile on plenty of fish and compete with a bunch of people with too much time to get fail girls.
Why can't you guys just meet people through friends? If your answer is because you don't have friends, I'd be concentrating on having friends before women...

You couldn't be more wrong. I have a nice group of friends, very happy and very lucky to have them...if I poked around and started to look for relationships through "friends of friends" it could open up a can of worms. Suppose things go badly...rumors start spreading, your reputation becomes tarnished among your close friends, your name starts being dragged through the mud etc. That's why it's best to look OUTSIDE your circle for women...if things don't work out fine, you can still go back to your inner circle with a good clean reputation, and the jilted/psycho/controlling/hysterical/suspicious/ ex isn't around to offer up her end of the story.

 

[Deadly_Ripped]

Read this:

Stop using Internet Dating as a Buffer and grow a F@ckin’ Pair

It obviously depends on which camp you are in.

According to that article I'm in camp A. I can honestly say that once a woman from the internet agrees to meet up with me, it's invariably in the bag (so far - 5/5). I'll either hit it that night and/or they've wanted to see me a 2nd time. And NO, none of those women listed 'casual sex' under "looking for" and it's not on my profile either.

I rarely go on 2nd dates with them though, because most are low quality women who misrepresent themselves online compared to their real lives. Most are heavier or far more boring than their well-planned profile would lead you to believe.

Just stay optimistic and put yourself out there. You'll get a feel pretty quickly for online dating '********.' If anything, it really reminds me how few women I meet and pay attention to throughout the day. There are thousands of women around, but most of them are so far below you in one kind of status or another that you forget how high up on the chain you're looking. The internet is a constant reminder about the ugly/nasty/stupid/reclusive/f-d up/fat/lazy women out there who don't even make the list from which you select your potential partners.

One caveat though:

DO NOT STOP SEEKING WOMEN OUT IN REAL LIFE. You will not likely find a quality woman online, but that shouldn't stop you from enjoying the experience and exposure. I've really enjoyed the practice with dating and dating ettiquette. It sharpens my game for women I care about.

 

[Poonani Maker]

For the past week, I've been working in a high-end area of the country...SICK houses. I took some pics. Would you include one of these pics in your profile and title it as, "My 2nd house..?" I'd like to see the difference, in, the # of views/msgs to my profile before and after the sick house pic. I want to experiment to see how gold-digging most girls Really are, as I suspect.

 

[SandHawk]

You don't get over it, because online dating *IS* for losers OR old people. You see, if you're over 45, busy with a job 60 hours a week and also trying to have hobbies, it can be difficult finding chicks.

But if you're under 45, online dating is just for the chumps that can't find a girl(or dude). Just go out, be open minded and meet girls. I've been on vacation the past 10 days, and I've met so many freaking girls, and banged two of em and turning one of them into a more long term venture as she lives near my house.

Just be open minded, stop being such a wuss and go out there and TALK to people. It's not that difficult, all it takes is "Hi". But you know what? You're on a dry spell because you are afraid of talking to girls. You just want to sit on your couch, with a laptop on your lap and send around emails sucking up to girls, attempting to meet their 'standards' in the vain hope they'll reply and like you. Instead of actually trying to improve yourself, you jsut want to sit in the comfort zone and do nothing new, change nothing.

And then one day, probably by when you're 55 or older, after you hit your skull insanely hard into an object, you'll be like Bob Arctor in A Scanner darkly:
"The pain, so unexpected and undeserved had for some reason cleared away the cobwebs. I realized I didn't hate the cabinet door, I hated my life... My house, my family, my backyard, my power mower. Nothing would ever change; nothing new could ever be expected. It had to end, and it did. now in the dark world where I dwell, ugly things, and surprising things, and sometimes little wondrous things, spill out in me constantly, and I can count on nothing."

Except, for you there won't be a change. For you, there will be the reminder that you f*cked up your entire life on some skank that had to go online because guys in real life realized how much of a pathethic and worthless piece of sh*t she was. And then you started dating her via an internet site.

 

[TheManOfSteel]

But you know what? You're on a dry spell because you are afraid of talking to girls. You just want to sit on your couch, with a laptop on your lap and send around emails sucking up to girls, attempting to meet their 'standards' in the vain hope they'll reply and like you. Instead of actually trying to improve yourself, you jsut want to sit in the comfort zone and do nothing new, change nothing.

Wow man, don't quit your day job and seek employment in a profession which tasks include assuming you know everybody's life details without ever meeting them. This thread is about expanding game online, not relying on it SOLELY and refusing to meet people in everyday interactions.

I have no intention of sitting on my ass sucking up to girls through emails. I don't do it in real life, so why would I do it online. High standards and not relegating myself to become somebody's ***** is part of the reason I'm single. For "not trying to improve myself" I put myself through college with no student loans, have a good paying job, and workout to the tune of 6'4'' 210 lbs @ 12% body fat and bench almost 100 lbs. more than my body weight.

Deadly ripped, I agree with a lot of what you said.

 

[MoBo]

You don't get over it, because online dating *IS* for losers OR old people. You see, if you're over 45, busy with a job 60 hours a week and also trying to have hobbies, it can be difficult finding chicks.

But if you're under 45, online dating is just for the chumps that can't find a girl(or dude). Just go out, be open minded and meet girls. I've been on vacation the past 10 days, and I've met so many freaking girls, and banged two of em and turning one of them into a more long term venture as she lives near my house.

Just be open minded, stop being such a wuss and go out there and TALK to people. It's not that difficult, all it takes is "Hi". But you know what? You're on a dry spell because you are afraid of talking to girls. You just want to sit on your couch, with a laptop on your lap and send around emails sucking up to girls, attempting to meet their 'standards' in the vain hope they'll reply and like you. Instead of actually trying to improve yourself, you jsut want to sit in the comfort zone and do nothing new, change nothing.

And then one day, probably by when you're 55 or older, after you hit your skull insanely hard into an object, you'll be like Bob Arctor in A Scanner darkly:
"The pain, so unexpected and undeserved had for some reason cleared away the cobwebs. I realized I didn't hate the cabinet door, I hated my life... My house, my family, my backyard, my power mower. Nothing would ever change; nothing new could ever be expected. It had to end, and it did. now in the dark world where I dwell, ugly things, and surprising things, and sometimes little wondrous things, spill out in me constantly, and I can count on nothing."

Except, for you there won't be a change. For you, there will be the reminder that you f*cked up your entire life on some skank that had to go online because guys in real life realized how much of a pathethic and worthless piece of sh*t she was. And then you started dating her via an internet site.

I totally agree. Life is too short and too much of it is spent behind a computer screen. This is coming from a guy that quit playing video games and went from being a 245lb fat kid when I joined to a 180lb six pack. From no social skills, to being able to keep rooms laughing and talking all night. Thanks Sosuave.

Nothing compares to being able to actually see someone when you speak to them. You can see their expressions, their eyes. You can tell what they mean and what their thinking so much better. Talking in person makes memories, good or bad conversations being remembered is worth so much more than a lifetime of emails to me.

I read this forum every once in a while but rarely post. This post caught my attention. Thanks for hitting the nail on the head Sand.

 

[LoneWolf]

I totally agree. Life is too short and too much of it is spent behind a computer screen. This is coming from a guy that quit playing video games and went from being a 245lb fat kid when I joined to a 180lb six pack. From no social skills, to being able to keep rooms laughing and talking all night. Thanks Sosuave.

Nothing compares to being able to actually see someone when you speak to them. You can see their expressions, their eyes. You can tell what they mean and what their thinking so much better. Talking in person makes memories, good or bad conversations being remembered is worth so much more than a lifetime of emails to me.

I read this forum every once in a while but rarely post. This post caught my attention. Thanks for hitting the nail on the head Sand.

it's no different when you meet an online girl then meet her in person... like the girl im with now. i see her expression and eyes all the time now. besides i only spoke to her maybe twice online, not over 5 mins the chats were. we made a date asap and now we are in a relationship. i still think you can meet nice girls online. when you meet them in person it really is like meeting them for the first time so theres no difference.