how to get over messing up

[Giantsfan88]

There's this girl. It was going well with her. Then after me suggesting another date five days after our second date, her declining with work excuse, then me locking down another one a day later (huge mistake), a couple of a rescheduled plans (see my "rate the cringe worthiness of this text" post) and now I know she will never see me as boyfriend material now or for the rest of my lifetime because I came across as a nice little puppy dog cornball.

I'm seeing another chick on Wednesday but how much of a wussy loser this other girl sees me is running through my brain and leaving a really bad pain in my gut.

If I can't have her, I just want her respect as an alpha and not some beta. I know now it's done with her, but what can I do for myself?

 

[Tictac]

If 'it's done with her', be done with her and don't give a crap over what she thinks.

If you learned your lesson (seems like you have) just don't make the same error.

 

[LuckyStrike88]

There's this girl. It was going well with her. Then after me suggesting another date five days after our second date, her declining with work excuse, then me locking down another one a day later (huge mistake), a couple of a rescheduled plans (see my "rate the cringe worthiness of this text" post) and now I know she will never see me as boyfriend material now or for the rest of my lifetime because I came across as a nice little puppy dog cornball.

I'm seeing another chick on Wednesday but how much of a wussy loser this other girl sees me is running through my brain and leaving a really bad pain in my gut.

If I can't have her, I just want her respect as an alpha and not some beta. I know now it's done with her, but what can I do for myself?

You clearly still have some deep inner-game issues my friend. And there is no short-term fix for that, it will take some work and time. And the way you think about getting better right now will make it a hard road. To me it seems you rely too much on the approval of girls to feel happy about yourself and you are over-thinking even little details in order not to fail.

I think the first thing you gotta do it step back and find something else in your life that makes you happy, without a women. Because putting this much importance on getting the girl will screw up your chances. Set up your life so that you are happy without a woman and won't be so desperate for one or their approval. It is not until then where you can move forward and get more successful.

Wanting something too much and doing everything you can not to fail will usually result in not getting what you want.

 

[Giantsfan88]

Wanting something too much and doing everything you can not to fail will usually result in not getting what you want.

Do you think me not setting up a date right away after she asked for Friday or Saturday as a counter offer looked like obvious playing hard to get? I'm gonna call her tonight. Am I most likely wasting my time?

 

[Yewki]

Do you think me not setting up a date right away after she asked for Friday or Saturday as a counter offer looked like obvious playing hard to get? I'm gonna call her tonight. Am I most likely wasting my time?

Ok real talk. Bro, you care WAY too much about this crap. It's just a girl. Until you realize this, you will continue acting like your world revolves around getting the girl. You will keep overthinking everything. I'm not exactly following what is going on with your situation, but it sounds like she counter offered with Fri or Sat and you haven't replied for a while? Good, fine. Ok... pick one and tell her to come along with you to do something. If she asks why it took you so long to respond say you were busy.

Maybe one thing that can help is instead of focusing on trying to do everything "right," focus on being completely OK with her not liking you. If she were to text you, "You know what, actually no I can't do either of those days and I'm busy forever" ... how many f*cks would you give? Until your answer is 0, you're not there. Why do you need someone else's validation so much?