How to get over having missed the boat when you were younger?

[Good Gao]

I see many late bloomers do this and it is a common pattern I notice with guys on this site and many self-improvement forums:

1. Weren't the part of the "cool crowd" in high school
2. Weren't a part of the "in" scene in college

This meant missing out on hot p*ssy, cool friends, and always being on the outside looking in. Now an unfortunate reality is that once you become an adult who leaves college, nobody really cares as much about being a part of that "in" crowd. People have different responsibilities now, it's all about having kids, raising them, moving to the best neighborhoods, and living the "American Dream".

Yet for guys who missed out on the partying, drinking, casual sex, and being a part of the "in" scene while younger this leads to disappointment and frustration. Knowing that you missed the boat on all of that and now here you are as maybe some guy hitting his 30s at his peak who is in good shape, good career, and looked better than he ever has. The problem is, nobody is really there anymore. You aren't in the same environment you were in back in college and high school where being "the man" actually meant something. Now here you are floating in this world all alone as a 30 yr old trying to party and get laid like a college kid except nobody really wants to do that stuff anymore.

Almost everyone in your age group is fat and losing their looks (women especially) and if you go hang out with the younger crowd such as college kids, you're going to be seen as that weird guy.

How do you guys that missed the boat get over this?

 

[Tictac]

Live well now.

Worrying about what you missed out on is a waste.

 

[Good Gao]

Live well now.

Worrying about what you missed out on is a waste.

I know but at the same time it just kills so many men on the inside. In my mid 20s I had my fun partying, drinking, and hooking up with lots of girls but even then I feel that whole burn of not belong to a tribe like I did back in high school and college. It's like when you are the man in high school or college, you know you are the man. You belong to a closed tribe of people your age group and when you preside over them with your superiority, they let you know it.

Yet when graduation happens for college, you are out there, all alone, and you just never really feel that same feeling you feel like you would have felt. It's so hard to describe it but it is so obvious too to those who know what I am trying to get across.

Even now as I near 30, I know I have done better **** in my life than most of the kids I graduated with but I feel like I grew up too fast.

It's like when I was younger, I wanted to get out of the terrible city and succeed I was in but now that I am older I wish I felt that warmth of a community along with that chance to prove my worth and show to the world why I am indeed better than some guy who might have peaked earlier. It isn't just sour grapes either, it is also me wanting to compensate even more...