Magnatolia
Don Juan
Hi Guys,
I have a problem when it comes to communicating with strangers. I usually clam up and don't say anything when I'm passing them by. Or I read way too deep into things and get the wrong idea. My biggest problem seems to be the fact that if people don't talk to me first or wave at me first, then I automatically assume that they don't want to know me.
I had some pretty big problems with people in my earlier school years where nobody wanted to know me and I was bullied a lot.
Lately though I've passed a few guys from high school who say hello and we chat for a bit. It's made me realise that I probably could have had more friends at school if I had moved that particular mental barrier out of the way. I seem to jump at the conclusion that they don't want to know me or are just being polite if they say hello and I usually end up not creating any conversation. And a few of these guys I've talked to of late are people who I never even thought would want anything to do with me.
I think this realisation has helped me on my path because I seem a little more comfortable now.
I do this a lot - a couple of months ago I was on a bus tour and I sat near this person who I didn't get any 'obvious' signs that she wanted to talk to me or have anything to do with me so I didn't say anything at all. A few hours later she talked to me for a few minutes and I realised, too late, that I had jumped at the wrong conclusion.
what would you recommend I do to get over this? I've been working on it and I've made some minor progress, nothing at the level I want to be though.
Also, what should I do to make woman I like notice me without me having to actually say hello or wave. You know, so they actually initiate a conversation with me. This is something that really bothers me, and it's slowing my progress. By this I mean my 'natural appeal'. Like, for instance, a few guys on here write about women giving them a hint by looking them in the eyes and showing their mobile phone.
I 'occasionally' get something like this. Today I was looking at this girl sitting in her parked car as I walked towards the car. When I walked past I had another quick look through the side window. She smiled and gave me a sort-of quick wave. More like raised her hand in acknowledgement. Would you class that as an interest signal?
I look forward to your responses.
Thanks
J
I have a problem when it comes to communicating with strangers. I usually clam up and don't say anything when I'm passing them by. Or I read way too deep into things and get the wrong idea. My biggest problem seems to be the fact that if people don't talk to me first or wave at me first, then I automatically assume that they don't want to know me.
I had some pretty big problems with people in my earlier school years where nobody wanted to know me and I was bullied a lot.
Lately though I've passed a few guys from high school who say hello and we chat for a bit. It's made me realise that I probably could have had more friends at school if I had moved that particular mental barrier out of the way. I seem to jump at the conclusion that they don't want to know me or are just being polite if they say hello and I usually end up not creating any conversation. And a few of these guys I've talked to of late are people who I never even thought would want anything to do with me.
I think this realisation has helped me on my path because I seem a little more comfortable now.
I do this a lot - a couple of months ago I was on a bus tour and I sat near this person who I didn't get any 'obvious' signs that she wanted to talk to me or have anything to do with me so I didn't say anything at all. A few hours later she talked to me for a few minutes and I realised, too late, that I had jumped at the wrong conclusion.
what would you recommend I do to get over this? I've been working on it and I've made some minor progress, nothing at the level I want to be though.
Also, what should I do to make woman I like notice me without me having to actually say hello or wave. You know, so they actually initiate a conversation with me. This is something that really bothers me, and it's slowing my progress. By this I mean my 'natural appeal'. Like, for instance, a few guys on here write about women giving them a hint by looking them in the eyes and showing their mobile phone.
I 'occasionally' get something like this. Today I was looking at this girl sitting in her parked car as I walked towards the car. When I walked past I had another quick look through the side window. She smiled and gave me a sort-of quick wave. More like raised her hand in acknowledgement. Would you class that as an interest signal?
I look forward to your responses.
Thanks
J