imarockstar
Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 1, 2008
- Messages
- 153
- Reaction score
- 17
guys im aware of my mindset and its completely ****ed. well maybe not completely, but close. so i first found this site 2 years ago after breaking up with my LTR. this site has taught me a lot. ive done things that i wouldnt normally do just to test it out and its worked.
the beginning of this year was pretty good. i pushed myself at every social event. i took every opportunity i had to go out, if someone invited me somewhere i was there. i just feel like ive lost my motivation. in january, i was going to the gym religiously, quit smoking pot, i stopped getting distracted by stupid sh*t like tv and video games, i was going to school and really wrapped up in that, on top of that working 3-4 12 hr days a week.
anyways i kept a journal and at one point i was like "i made it, im where i wanna be and am happy with myself". since then, its gone downhill. i started getting really stressed at my job because i got a promotion with more responsibilities. soon thereafter i started smoking pot again. it was great til it started becoming an everyday thing.
i know what i must do, i need to cut all the things that make me unhappy out of my life. its like lately i dont even know who i am. i have no pride in myself, it fuc*kin sucks. the past week or so ive been trying really hard to think positive, because thats one of the most important assets. its tough though. i mean i have good friends and i go out and act like nothings wrong, but inside my head i just dont feel alive. i dont feel like im living in the moment.
i mean jesus, the last month this how my days gone: wake up, smoke weed, smoke a cig, play xbox for about 9 hours, and jack it to porn. this will be my day 3 days out of the week, the other 4 im at work or school. oh and due to my poisonous mindset and lack of motivation, i havent gotten laid in 3 months. i dont even try, its like i tell myself i dont deserve it. f*ck.
i feel fuc*kin pathetic writing this, but i guess im just lookin for support. anyone go through this? like be right on track and doing great and then all the sudden start fuc*kin up? howd you get back to where you were?
the beginning of this year was pretty good. i pushed myself at every social event. i took every opportunity i had to go out, if someone invited me somewhere i was there. i just feel like ive lost my motivation. in january, i was going to the gym religiously, quit smoking pot, i stopped getting distracted by stupid sh*t like tv and video games, i was going to school and really wrapped up in that, on top of that working 3-4 12 hr days a week.
anyways i kept a journal and at one point i was like "i made it, im where i wanna be and am happy with myself". since then, its gone downhill. i started getting really stressed at my job because i got a promotion with more responsibilities. soon thereafter i started smoking pot again. it was great til it started becoming an everyday thing.
i know what i must do, i need to cut all the things that make me unhappy out of my life. its like lately i dont even know who i am. i have no pride in myself, it fuc*kin sucks. the past week or so ive been trying really hard to think positive, because thats one of the most important assets. its tough though. i mean i have good friends and i go out and act like nothings wrong, but inside my head i just dont feel alive. i dont feel like im living in the moment.
i mean jesus, the last month this how my days gone: wake up, smoke weed, smoke a cig, play xbox for about 9 hours, and jack it to porn. this will be my day 3 days out of the week, the other 4 im at work or school. oh and due to my poisonous mindset and lack of motivation, i havent gotten laid in 3 months. i dont even try, its like i tell myself i dont deserve it. f*ck.
i feel fuc*kin pathetic writing this, but i guess im just lookin for support. anyone go through this? like be right on track and doing great and then all the sudden start fuc*kin up? howd you get back to where you were?
