How to get back on the road of life

[fafo]

Hi there fellow DJ-s (as I wish I was a DJ but you will get the idea why I'm not and probably will never be one)

My story is kinda long and AFC but I will try to keep it short for the sake of your valuable time.

Intro

As long as I can remember I was not popular at all, in highschool, university or anywhere else in that matter I was this shy boy who would relax and show his true nature only to a very close group of friends(no women).

The story begins with my first girlfriend at the age of 17(yea i know) with which i had a LTR of almost 4 years She was HB6,5-7(pretty but kinda dumb, best bjs, nice sex).
At that time I was still unpopular but the girls in the griup were showing much interest in ****ing me, one time even two of them tried to make threesome with me but I refused ...(poor 16 year old me)
Anyway things were ending with my gf and by that time a friend of mine got a new gf with very nice social group in which we were included.
The gf of my friend (Lets call her N.) likes to bring people together or apart and they said there is a girl in that company(M.) with whom i will "click" naturally(HB7-8).
Time passed and by the end of the first month we were dating and I completely forgot about my ex-gf(which went suicidal and ****) and was in love with M.

Now the most dumb AFC story begins
About 3 months since we started dating everything is good untill one day out of the blue she dumps me but still wants us to be friends. I was devastated and depressed, found out that she tried with some other dude who ****s her and then throws her away. Afther that she starts to show interest in me and I take the bite hard . I got with her again and 6 months after, she has sex with her ex-bf who got back from a different country for a couple of days. Again depressed and devastated, her apologies and constant following gets me and I get back with her :nervous: (at this point Im sooo embarrassed).

Three years pass by with lots of love, plans for living together and **** when I slowly loose grip of the world and my friends.:woo: She becomes center of my world and that gets her off.
At the beginning of 2015 she dumps me again for another dude :box: .
Depressed again but i got a new job which kept me from constantly thinking about her.
By that time i find Sosuave and this great community which helps with stupidity like mine.
I start to threat myself better and go to the gym regularly(Im not fat but skinny) and she comes with me not by invite.
The guy she likes gets back with his ex and I put DJ tactics(NoContact) to M. which goes well and she declares that she wants to be with me and live together. I was thinking for a few days but decide to try it out.

So 2 months after we get back together she moves in with me. Everything is nice exept I feel that she doesent love me anymore nor do I. Two weeks living together get the wors of me and Im a emotional wreck. One day M. became cold to me and i found out the guy she likes broke with his gf. I confronted her and said it was over and to take her **** and leave. She cried alot but from the next day she forgot about me. Later I found out that N.(my friend's ex) was brainwashing her to go with the new guy because she didnt like his ex and wanted M. to take her place. This guy supplies her with a ****load of compliments and constant attention which she likes very much(oposite of what is written across SoSuave boards) and i dont get why is he successful, is it the brainwashing from N. or the compliments strategy is good one.

End

So I'm here 24 year old and I dont know how to resume my life like a normal person, I dont regret those years because i became a better version of myself but also dont have intention of getting back with her even just for sex( sex was boring, awful bjs).
I work as a programmer so i dont have lots of social interactions or a hobby to which I can give all i have.
I live alone (kinda good) and dont have a lot of friends left because i let them fade away, half of the people i have contact with were her friends at first.
I like the company in the pub she works in but her new guy know everyone there from way back and i dont know how to contact them/make friends with them.
Most of the friends I have are in relationships so i cant get out with them for pickups.

Please people, read this story and dont make the same mistakes because one day you realise you slept the last 8 years of your life.

Also any advice you can spare will be appreciated

 

[Infern0]

Yup so you made a boatload of mistakes, obvious that you are aware of that.

Problems you have

Low self esteem

Lack of knowledge on how attraction works.

The low self esteem spirals off into other problems, low confidence, tolerating disrespect, limiting belief system etc.

The lack of knowledge is pretty easy to fix.

Plan going forward. Get some counseling to find out what crap from childhood is causing the low self esteem, and start fixing it. And read DJ bible, book of pook etc to fill in the knowledge gaps.

You are 24, I was 27 when I started learning this stuff and I was worse than you, less than 6 months later I couldn't give two ****s about my AFC past, my life is 10x better.

Do the work.

 

[YAboi]

Network with your co-workers and attend events with them where you can meet even more people some of whom will become life long pals and who you can meet women through. Attend church and socialise there plus God will heal your mind there. Thank me later.

 

[fafo]

Infern0, thanks for the criticism, its very welcome in order to improve myself.
I'm reading the Bible and Pook right now and I feel how my mindset is changing
The low self esteem probably comes from my mindset of not being popular, always afraid to call people and hang out if they dont call first etc but Im trying to change that(even though Im not sure how to start contacting people without them seing me as desperate or clingy with whom I only small talked to before).

YAboi Thanks for the input!
The problem with my current co-workers is that they are mostly mid 30-s with kids and their mindset is waay different from mine, they are nice company but the gap in out way of thinking is kinda big.

Im still feeling kinda betrayed by M. for completely forgetting me overnight and going so fast to the other dude but the feeling is getting kinda numb(guess its a good thing). :yawn:

I cant help it but wonder how the thing worked between them when the guy is the nicest dude I have ever seen. Im a nice guy myself but still I get some private time now and then but this guy is all over her all the time and she is responding nicely even though this kind of behaviour is considered the worst thing to do here in the boards.
I really dont want to be with her anymore but deep down in me, there is hate that is wishing that they would fail I really wont do anything against them, even speak bad for either one of them but I cant help myself from thinking bad ****. Guess im not such a nice guy after all.

 

[fafo]

Hi guys,
just wanted to share my progress so if someone ever reads this topic it will be to the end and not midway incomplete.

So Its been more than a month since me and my ex broke up. I felt bad, I felt betrayed, I was a depressed mess. Today I feel like none of those things.
My life is better, better job(new), gym, friends, I'm feeling better than the time I was spending with her and her crap.
The good memories remain bringing you smile and the bad ones fade away as this person fades into your past.

She is now with the guy claiming to love him and he is unloading the most AFC **** I have ever seen but that doesn't bother me at all,
I'm curious though how they will progress as he is doing everything against the DJ community is suggesting to keep the attraction and the spark.

Yes I still lack some social skills and I'm still pretty much AFC but that's work in progress and its getting better as I read Top 3% of Men and DJ Bible.
I got on a date with the ex of my ex's new guy(strange but I think I'll use her for experience because on the first date I realized i suck no escalation or kino whatsoever even though I wanna bang her ),
started to talk with random people including hot chicks with less and less of stuttering and anxiety.

Anyway just wanted you to know that whenever your situation seems dark, lonely and scary there is light ahead and you should keep going, never stopping!