"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

How to get back a BPD ^^

lightofhatred

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Hello there; I'm Lightofhatred

Well anyways me and this BPD were in a 4 month relationship; we broke up, I ignored her/she ignored me for a month and today I got a "i want you back ily" text. Well obviously she doesn't love me and it's because her BF just dumped her (and all her I GOT LEFT IM ALONE AND ULTRA DEPRESSED NEED SOMEONE LOL D: hormones have just been activated ^^)

What do I reply? Obviously I can't be like "OMFG I LOVE YOU I WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU FOREVER LETS GET MARRIED" so I'm thinking how do I reply to that?
"I'm sorry..."
"Cool Story bro"
"I thought you hated me?"

BTW shes not a very experienced BPD; shes very young (same with me) but I can PROMISE you shes DEFIANTLY 100% BPD.

I just want to try and control her for dating experience for later in life. I used to be able to control her by "Your just my entertainment" etc and was generally an arsehole *.* until I got feelings for her and yeah turned into mega AFC >.<''

Any ideas on how I can get this of the ground again? (I'm bored and DO need some BPD entertainment ;P)
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Darth

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I had a thing with a girl who was BPD.

I dumped her, and then a couple days later I put the pieces together and realized she was a bona-fide BPD.

For these women it's not about getting them back- it's about keeping them out.

This girl blew up my phone. Eventually I had to threaten to change my phone number.

You don't want these types in your life. They need help, and maybe it's not their fault, but you can't let them bring you down with them.
 

lightofhatred

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Darth said:
I had a thing with a girl who was BPD.

I dumped her, and then a couple days later I put the pieces together and realized she was a bona-fide BPD.

For these women it's not about getting them back- it's about keeping them out.

This girl blew up my phone. Eventually I had to threaten to change my phone number.

You don't want these types in your life. They need help, and maybe it's not their fault, but you can't let them bring you down with them.
Well shes only sent 1 text which shows a bit of dis-interest unfortunately "/
I do sir; she can be my BPD slave slut until I can be ****ed finding a girlfriend haha.

It obviously isn't her fault; but that doesn't bother me. She treated me badly so I have a right to get what I want out of her to make up for her errors. And it also looks like a fun challenge, a BPD which isn't interested in me and getting them back :D
 

AAAgent

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my bpd relationship was like the music video of Eminem's song "Love the way you lie."

somethings are broken beyond repair and most bpd relationships almost always end up that way. leave it and move on man.
 

Deadly_Ripped

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So you're insisting that you're going to try to get her back so that you can make her pay for all of the wrong that she's done you? That makes sense... except that you're forgetting she'll probably do all kinds of wrong to you in the process of trying to get her back, if she even lets you get back together with her, which would be even more humiliating than losing her in the first place.

Cut your losses and run. Run in the other direction before something worse happens. With BPD, worse can literally be terminal - for you or her.

The best revenge would be to get happy with some other non-BPD slut who will let you make her your slave. Let this BPD bask in her own misery... you won't make it better or worse.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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lightofhatred

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No man I'm not trying to get back at her; I just need something to do. Right now i'm pretty bored and lets face it, BPDs are NEVER boring. I just need her for 2-3 months until I start at a new college.

Not trying to undermine you guys; I know your trying to give me the best advise but I know I CAN handle this BPD.
I have moved on; I just want easy sex "/

But don't even know how to reply to her message? I'm thinking "Yeah I love me too ;D"?
 

theunflushables

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You don't. You run. Girls with BPD are very addictive and many of the guys on here will tell you the same thing.

This is what I think of when anyone tries to get their BPD girl back

Former Junkie: I think I'm going to start shooting heroin again.
Friend: Why?
Junkie: Dunno, I'm bored. I'll only shoot up once in a great while.

Of course the junkie gets right back into his addiction until he is forced to get clean again or he dies of an overdose.

Prior to being a part of the community I dated this girl that I worked with (first mistake) and stayed with her when I learned she was BPD (second). When we broke up she turned many of the people we worked with against me, spread rumors that I had given her Stage III HPV (just before cancerous) and that she had to have her uterus removed.

Basically she made my life hell. I ended up having to quit the job I was at and had to move back home to get back on my feet.

For your own sake, don't get back with her.
 

Swift Shadow

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Honestly listen to everyones advice because they speak the truth, i've been there done that and it's not worth it, the best revenge you can do is to live a happy life and make her regret what she missed out on, honestly.
 

Acq

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Ok here we go again, I was a BPD man, well not PD but severe traits, because it was not a personality disorder I was able to recover with therapy alone. Basically BPD's have cycles of behaviour, up, down, up, down, push, pull, push, pull.
BPD's are usually control freaks, if you play your game right, this girl can be your fb for a long time, if not for "life", appearing and disappearing occasionally, whenever YOU want.

To get her back I would ignore the message, at least for now, there is bound to be "more" from her. When she contacts you again show very low interest, pretend you are busy, and have a very active life. Given this, the BPD could start the "pull" cycle on you, if played right, the cycle can lead to the point of an unhealthy obsession.
Do not ask her to meet u, do not give her ANY power over you, once she feels she has power over you, the "push cycle" could begin, with you ending up being a loser in her eyes. Keep all the power over her to yourself.
Basically BPD's only show interest as long as they think you are stronger, better etc, when they realize they have you under control, then sh!t begins.
 

Crissco

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lightofhatred said:
Hello there; I'm Lightofhatred

Well anyways me and this BPD were in a 4 month relationship; we broke up, I ignored her/she ignored me for a month and today I got a "i want you back ily" text. Well obviously she doesn't love me and it's because her BF just dumped her (and all her I GOT LEFT IM ALONE AND ULTRA DEPRESSED NEED SOMEONE LOL D: hormones have just been activated ^^)

What do I reply? Obviously I can't be like "OMFG I LOVE YOU I WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU FOREVER LETS GET MARRIED" so I'm thinking how do I reply to that?
"I'm sorry..."
"Cool Story bro"
"I thought you hated me?"

BTW shes not a very experienced BPD; shes very young (same with me) but I can PROMISE you shes DEFIANTLY 100% BPD.

I just want to try and control her for dating experience for later in life. I used to be able to control her by "Your just my entertainment" etc and was generally an arsehole *.* until I got feelings for her and yeah turned into mega AFC >.<''

Any ideas on how I can get this of the ground again? (I'm bored and DO need some BPD entertainment ;P)
Are you aware?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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lightofhatred

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Well good thing is. I completely ruined my chances with her.
Bad thing is, no easy sex.

I ruined it by just questioning her e.g. "I love you" "i Love me too; why do you love me all of a sudden?" and having a major fit at her to "feed" of my emotions. Well I guess thats the end of that chapter in my life.

A good learning experience, I do feel a bit sorry for her but I'm not Jesus; I can't save her "/

Yeah I do say "cool story bro" to lots of girls. Why neg girls when you can troll them? ;D
 

Crissco

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lightofhatred said:
Well good thing is. I completely ruined my chances with her.
Bad thing is, no easy sex.

I ruined it by just questioning her e.g. "I love you" "i Love me too; why do you love me all of a sudden?" and having a major fit at her to "feed" of my emotions. Well I guess thats the end of that chapter in my life.

A good learning experience, I do feel a bit sorry for her but I'm not Jesus; I can't save her "/

Yeah I do say "cool story bro" to lots of girls. Why neg girls when you can troll them? ;D
LOL....BB.com Misc?
 

lightofhatred

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Okay sorry for bumping an "old" thread but its still going. Got the "pull" cycle on me and shes all "ILOVEYOU I MISS YOU" and "I wish you where still mine" etc ACQ THANK YOU :) really happy man

Unfortunately I'm only seeing her ONCE again in my life "/ so oh well time to soak up the damage and get one last round out of her.

Oh that bodybuilder.com misc? Those guys are ****ing immature little 10yr olds that CAN'T TROLL "/
 

rtrev64

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If you just want her for fvcking proposes then play along, get what you want then dump her, she will call you again..play the game.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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squirrels

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lightofhatred said:
I just want to try and control her for dating experience for later in life.
And that's why she was (and will continue to be) able to play you like a violin for whatever time you continue to know her.

Worse, if you use her for "dating experience", then when you finally meet a GOOD woman, you will start pulling out stunts that you learned dealing with nutcases and a good woman will be put off by that crap and want nothing to do with you.

The way you get the better of BPDs is LEAVE THEM THE F**K ALONE.

As A7X says:

We all have emptiness inside,
We all have answers to find....
but
YOU...CAN'T...WIN...THIS...FIGHT!
 

betheman

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Pierce said:
BPD stands for Bi-Polar Disorder... right?

No it stands for Borderline Personality Disorder
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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