"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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How To Game Shy Girls?

total_afc

Don Juan
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I am working on my day game now. I want to meet girls who will warm to me gradually. I like night game of course, and I still go out (but not tonight, where I am laid up playing keyboard jockey), but I want to diversify a bit. I have two candidates. How do you deal with shy girls?

The first girl is a gorgeous petite blonde I see at this store I go to all the time. I see her staring at me all the time. Yesterday when I was there, she kept staring at me over and over, over her shoulder. She would not look me in the eye. She just kept looking in my direction repeatedly. She eyed me coyly, and oddly she lifted her shirt up revealing her belly button while pouting and staring at me.

However, when I spoke to her, she seemed very nervous. She kept hesitating when speaking, and she basically talked to me like a guy talking to a guy. "Cool dude, yeah." I was completely confused by the sexual body language and the very standoff-ish verbal talk.

The second girl is a girl working next to my office. She FREEZES up hardcore whenever she sees me. I've seen her peeking a look at me. She'll stick her head out the door and check me out, and then pull her head back in if I catch her. If I run into her in the hallway, she stops instantly, turns bright red, has a big smile and says absolutely nothing. My efforts to get her to talk are met with further embarrassment on her part.

How do I get these girls to chill out so I can talk to them?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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speakeasy

Master Don Juan
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I was recently talking to a girl like this that I had met on myspace. She would act very uptight and nervous the several times I saw her. It made things uncomfortable and she didn't seem to be loosening up much with time. I just moved on. A girl like that is just not going to be much fun if she can't relax.
 

Prof

Don Juan
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I've read Larry King's book "How to talk to anyone, anytime, anywhere" and, from that book, I'd say you got to figure out what they love to talk about: themselves. Most people (all of the sane ones, basically) LOVE talking about themselves. Whether it's their hobby, their pet, their kid, their work, their schooling, or their vagina - they love to talk about it. All you've really got to do is surf the dialog topics a bit with them. Ask them what they do for fun. Or, ask 'em what they think of something you're big on (shared interests rock, though you have to watch to make sure you don't become a lecturer...)

The point is to get to the 'interview' stage. All you've really got to do is find something they're passionate about and talk to them about it. Then, after a somewhat decent discussion over some one topic ask for their number and SPLIT! (Oh, introduce yourself somewhere in there...I need to work on that bit myself.)

Just keep talking until you see the passion in their eyes and body language. That's when you know you've struck gold.

(With the one girl the really obvious thing to talk about is the piercing she showed you. ****, I'd ask to see it, touch it, and work some kino in with the conversation.)
 

total_afc

Don Juan
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Good tips. I am finding that girls get progressively more nervous around me, the more I talk to them rather than vice versa. I'm not going to give up however.
 

Play the Game

Master Don Juan
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Have you considered asking them out... sometimes it's just that simple.
 
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"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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