How to forget.

[Kidd]

Seriously, I need to get my **** together.

I finally asked out the girl I have a crush on who is also one of my best friends, and got rejected. I feel relieved that I finally know how she feels, no more questions.

But my feelings for her are still there. I start to forget about her, my feelings go down, and as soon as I talk to her again, they rocket back up. I got dates with 2 other girls, it did not help one bit.

I also heard that she is going to the jr. prom with some other guy she really likes. Hearing this did not make my situation better.

Basically, I dont want to have feelings for her anymore. This is ****ing pathetic. I know if I dont do something, it will hurt like hell once she moves out of state this summer.

Any help would be appreciated.

 

[penkitten]

everytime you think of her... go work out

by the time your muscles are big, you will have forgotten her and have lots more girls lookin at you.

 

[i am me]

Sorry to hear that man...it always hurts to get rejected, especially by a girl you've had a "crush" on (not some random bimbo). My advice is to not pay any attention to her at school (unless she goes up to you and starts talking or something...) so she starts wondering "why is he doing that?" Also, try to forget about her yourself. Find another hot girl (maybe a nicer one so they'll FOR SURE go with you ). Good luck man

 

[carmex]

Originally posted by redbyte
Anyone got any advise for when that happens? Just ignore her or something?

No I wouldnt like give her the cold shoulder or anything, that will make you come off as an ass, and you want to be the bigger person, and your time cant be wasted on her.

For example-

Her: Hey Redbyte, did you get problem 19 on tonights homework?
You: Nah I havent started yet. Hey Bob! *leaves to talk to Bob*

Just leave and talk to someone or do something else.

 

[Jerky Boi]

I feel ya man. And I'm going to tell you right now, this isn't going to be easy considering you've had a crush on her for a while. My best advice is to avoid her at all costs. Every time you see her, memories you've had of her will arise in your head and you're going to become an emotional wreck. More than likely, you're going to run into her a few times, but that's okay. Keep your composure. Get a hobby, maybe become more active in school, go out with your friends, get a job..the list is endless. After a while, time will reward you and your thoughts of her will be lost. It's just going to take some time.

 

[Kidd]

She doesent go to my school.

Also, I cant just ignore her. Shes a good friend of mine. This is what makes this so difficult.

 

[penkitten]

Originally posted by Kidd


Also, I cant just ignore her. Shes a good friend of mine. This is what makes this so difficult.

why are you friends if you broke up?

 

[Kidd]

We never were going out.. I let her know I was interested in being more than friends, and got rejected.

 

[Bling]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=16631

Also, you're a lucky man. Girls I know are immature, and when they find out you like them, they turn out to become *****es around you.

 

[Matty838]

Hey

I am here to say that forgetting her and rejecting her (avoiding, cold shoulder, all those things mentioned) is a BAD IDEA, think about it, a guy likes a girl and asks her out, she says no, then he avoids her at all costs or treats her like she isnt important and then just totaly changes in a bad way towards her. This can only be bad! She will talk it over with friends, make it sound bazzillions of times worse (say if u walk off she will say that u have been giving her the cold shoulder and doing heaps of things to avoid her and if u do it once she might say u have done it 5 times or something) it will get gossiped and then everyone will hear a worse story,

The best thing u can do is just think of her as a friend again and then just be pretty much the same but make yourself interested in another chick



I have once been in a similar situation, i liked some chick and then i told her i liked her, and then got rejected, blah blah blah, any way i didnt go onto the internet to find out how to stop liking her (i talked to school friends which i found out is a horrible idea if u have one-itis [i had one-itis]) anyway everyone knew about it which forced me to like her more, so then i figured that
'I will make myself like her, but for another reason'(something stupid so u can stop liking her once that is the only reason) for me i made myself like her for looks alone, (I'm the type of guy that bases it more on personality) so then once i liked her for looks alone i made myself think she was ugly/i realisesed that i liked her for that alone and it is stupid to like a girl for that only

anyway i hope that gives u info and u can ask about it and i will post back (i used to be the worst person on this whole website with chicks, now i got heaps, all my school friends said i was pathetic and stuff) so i have come a long way and know what to do in nearly every situation

Hope its helpful

 

[Kerensky]

Sup KIdd. Here is something I'm trying to deal with MY oneitis:

We're still friends and we talk and nothing has changed. I haven't told her how I feel though, but she has a boyfriend. Anyhow, everytime I sstart thinking sexually about her or like if she laughs and I start thinking, "C&F!" or "kino!" I immediately think, "STFU! We're just friends."

So think, "STFU! We're just friends." When un-friendly thoughts come in your head.

Testing in progress.

 

[Michael Chief]

Take advantage of your primal instincts!
Humans basically function like this:
We seek pleasure and anything that has to do with that pleasure and we block out sources of pain, and we naturally learn on an instinctual level to stay away from that pain.
This may seem a bit psychotic, but it should work on a deep psychological level:
Negative shock therapy...Keep a rubber band around your wrist. Whenever you think about her in ANY sort of romantic way (and i mean ANY...be anally retentive about this), pull the rubber band far up and LET GO. SNAP! This should eventually train your brain to associate HER as a SOURCE OF PAIN.

Becoming depressed when thinking about her is NOT the same as this. Depression is an emotion, and emotions are THE most addictive chemicals there are in existance. You're only going to want MORE as a twisted form of pleasure. You need something ike a rubber band that offers 100% pain and NO reward or pleasure.

Always here to offer a new and unconventional perspective,
~gRiM

 

[Matty838]

Yeah Grim is right,

I have heard this stuff before and it is sooo true,
they have done all sorts of things like this before like:

people that are 'real chocoholics' and dont want to be anymore, have gone to a seminare where they teach you to think of something u dont like when u want the chocolate (or in this case a girl) they got the chocohloics to grab chocolate and underneath or ontop was a real spider or a fake one (depending on what the person doesnt like) so then they got the chocoholics to associate the chocolate with spiders

You can do this with chicks i spose, like if u have a pic of her (i get heaps of chicks sending me photos but apparently most other guys dont) then put a spider on her photo, or maybe put something really horrible like a homosexual guy photo so u dont want to think of her in that way coz then u will think of the homosexual guy photo (i get shivers down the spine thinking about it, its that grotty) so just think of something bad to associate her with so that u can still talk to her and be friends but when a cirtain topic comes up u think of something u dont want to...


It works (trust me on that) hope it turns out for ya man

 

[Michael Chief]

spiders? lol childs play

i personally wouldnt use something abstract that you FEAR because the only way to live life is without fear. i believe that you should eradicate all your fears because it can only hold you back

The avoidence of pain isnt necessarily a FEAR like this. It's too primal of an instinct and it shouldn't be eradicated. This is why i recommend the rubber band thing (which i learned from my friend Kuo).

 

[Matty838]

ok so maybe dont use something u fear, use something u hate, in my case i would use a homosexual picture

and a word of advise... a man without fear is a fool,
everyone fears something and u would be stupid to get rid of all your fears, if u had no fears you wouldnt amount to anything, fear drives people (fear of being poor makes some rich people rich)

So dont think not to use fear as an ally
and using something u fear (a spider) will not make u fear the girl, it will only make u think not to think the thoughts u think (if everything is done correctly)

 

[Michael Chief]

Originally posted by Matty838
and a word of advise... a man without fear is a fool,
everyone fears something and u would be stupid to get rid of all your fears, if u had no fears you wouldnt amount to anything, fear drives people (fear of being poor makes some rich people rich)

I disagree.
Fear of being poor actually makes people poor. Focusing on the negative will inevitably bring the negative towards you. People who always worry about money tend to constantly have financial problems. Rich people got their status from possitive affirmations. They were not afraid to go out and do whatever it took to succeed. It was their very lack of fear that got them where they are. Confidence gets you places. The opposite is fear.

I think I heard from a Brian Tracy track that humans are born with no fear. We develop our fears only from our childhood conditioning. I'm only paraphrasing from my memory, so excuse me if my information is inaccurate.

Sure, some fears are reasonable...such as a fear of jumping into an active volcano...but reasonable doesnt always mean necessary. One does not need to FEAR the volcano. One simply must have the right mind and logic to rationalize that it would not be the best idea to jump inside one, for it will end their opportunities for success and joy. This may sound like the definition of fear, but it's different.

 

[Matty838]

ok sorry about that, i should have said smart people fearing being poor makes them rich, if they didnt have that fear they wouldnt have the will to do things that others dont

too much fear is a bad thing coz then u wont take risks and risks are what make money, so if u fear too much then its bad but fear is good when the right anmount is used

 

[Michael Chief]

Originally posted by Matty838
if they didnt have that fear they wouldnt have the will to do things that others dont

Yeah I can empathize with that.
I bet I'm not the only person here to strives to always become better with girls because of the original fear that they started out with.
Fear of rejection. Fear of negligence. Fear of being alone. Fear of not being accepted. Fear of being hated. Fear of getting shot down like a duck...all that jazz.
Good thing we can all put that behind us and get with girls without fear

 

[Matty838]

ok, so u can continue with chicks without fear,
but my point still stands, fear is a neccesity and only fools live life without it