How to flirt, lol.

[Dee-Zy]

Taken from MSN.

Dear Trish,
I’m getting a reputation as a player because I'm gregarious and flirty with everybody. How can I make sure I'm not leading them on? And when I am interested, how do I make that clear?

Signed,
Flirtatious in Fort Worth

Dear Flirt,
Interestingly enough, research by the U.K.’s Social Issues Research Centre (SIRC) found that men are more likely to be misled by friendly flirting than women. The research suggests this is because men view the world in more sexual terms.

Still, you’re right to want to make sure the ladies you’re flirting with are clear about your intentions. You can’t control how people perceive your actions. However, if your intent is innocent, the chances of it being perceived incorrectly are mitigated.

When you’re engaging in purely recreational flirting, your intention is to have a little fun with no strings attached. Maybe you wink at the woman whose office is at the top of the stairs you walk daily. Or perhaps you chat up the gal who makes your latte every morning by praising her skills or admiring her smile.

These kinds of interactions are usually harmless; it’s unlikely these ladies will feel you’re seriously coming on to them. Still, it’s probably a good idea to watch their reactions to make sure your good nature isn’t making them uncomfortable or offended. That said, it’s possible that you’re making their days, raising their self-esteem and establishing a little camaraderie.

On the other hand, when you’re flirting with intent—when you really are interested—you are, hopefully, being more discriminating in your choice of audience. Working the room, flirting earnestly with every woman who’ll give you a glance is not the way to win a girl’s heart. So pick a likely prospect and throw her a change-up.

Women can tell when you’re flirting for fun or with a purpose. They’ll look for subtle signs like your body language that show this is more than just a casual interaction. For instance, a genuine smile or a nod of approval or understanding is also quite alluring. So is a brush or light touch on the arm.

But the most powerful bit of body language involves looks—both how you look and how you look at her. Holding eye contact for about a second (longer than that, and she will feel you’re staring) sends a clear signal that you’re digging her.

When Match.com surveyed singles about which body parts were most crucial when establishing physical attraction, the eyes took the top spot (40 percent). The chest was second and butt was third, but I don’t recommend establishing eye contact with either.

Speaking of body parts, research shows that people form their initial impression of others based on 55 percent on your body language and appearance and 38 percent on speaking style. In fact, Match.com research shows that 90 percent of singles surveyed say the sound of someone's voice can be a romantic deal breaker. That means what you say is only worth seven percent.

Still, that doesn’t negate the need to have a good opening line you can deliver with confidence. An inveterate flirt like you probably has several, but reserve a few really good ones for the women you actually want to get to know better.

And if you’re into using pet names, take a page from my friend Max who calls all his female friends sweetie—me, his gal pal from the office, his cousin, etc. His delivery is decidedly flirty and while it is a term of endearment, it’s not one of intimacy. He’s got a special name reserved for his girlfriend: darling. No one ever gets called darling but her and she knows it.

If you’re calling every woman “girl,” when you finally find one you want to connect with, use her name as you speak and then, if it feels comfortable, drop in an original term of endearment.

So, Flirtatious, keep working your magic. And to make sure your intentions are clear, work on those different flirtation modes. Think how much fun it will be to practice.

Then you, and the women you’re flirting with, will all be on the same page. Keep me posted on how it goes.

discuss.

 

[Dee-Zy]

thoughts???

 

[mrRuckus]

"Holding eye contact for about a second (longer than that, and she will feel you’re staring) sends a clear signal that you’re digging her."


That's retarded.

 

[cant think of a user name]

Most of the actions they listed as "flirting" can actually just be friendly interaction, depending on how each person is feeling, and their body language etc.

Also, I disagree with the whole "eye contact for 1 second only" thing. Can you imagine talking to someone and having to avert your eyes at every 1 second interval? It makes no sense.

Plus I am pretty sure the majority of males on this forum enjoy looking into a girl's eyes


EDIT: Wow, just realised you posted that last year.

 

[Craig Reeves]

I disagree with the "eye contact for 1 second only" thing as well. It's best to hold it until she breaks it.

 

[the_afc]

I also disagree with 1 sec EC.

If you keep EC more and then you smile, it not staring, does it?

 

[Royal Elite]

All these stupid rules are rules to help cowards flirt. You flirt by saying what you are thinking. If you think she is sexy say you look sexy. What the hell is she going to do beat you up. If she look her body tell her I like your body! As for eye contact Men don't bow down to women if you break eye contact at all you are a punk, and a woman knows it. Eye contact should be made the entire time you are talking to her. Chemistry is not trying to make a woman feel comfortable it's the ability to keep her off balence by making her stay uncomfortable. I dont break eye contact at all ever with Men or Women. If you are talking to me it's eye contact until the convo is over. A man is strong and dominate energy.

Machevilli stated that Fortune is like a lady and it only favors the bold.

Boys are reluctant, Men are bold. As Darwin told you "SURVIVAL OF THE FIT ONLY THE STRONG SURVIVE!"

MAN UP!

 

[djbr]

Oh well... Anti-Dump, speak!

Forget words. Take action.

End of story.