“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.

I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.

Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.

These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.

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How To Find A Job

ENIGMA16

Master Don Juan
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This post is for everyone that has been in the same boat as me the past couple of months/years. You see, I graduated in 2009 with a BS in Civil Engineering and have not been able to find a job. This is striking, because in a normal economy (and I say that lightly), I would have had a job lined up before I graduated. I'm hoping that this will help everyone in the same boat as me but also help me clarify some of this in my head somewhat. Also, most of this information is provided in What Color is Your Parachute? and Sweaty Palms. These are the two most essential books to read regarding your job search.

Understanding the Process - Employers and Job Seekers
The first thing you have to do is understand the differences in perspective between employers and job seekers. The way that the job searching/employment system is structured is completely backwards. What I mean is this:

(MOST) Employers will prioritize their job search in the following manner:
1. Within the company.
2. Personal/professional contacts.
3. Networking (i.e. second degree contacts obtained through personal/professional contacts), internal bulletins.
4. Misc. (this could be anything like organizational contacts or school contacts; basically, anything that is less personal than the above but more personal than below).
5. Posting on the company website.
6. Job sites, recruiters, etc...

As you can see, employers will start with areas that they feel are the most trustworthy and reliable at finding good employees, and then will work down towards the riskier options. This is just obvious; why would an employer want to start by interviewing some random people that respond to an ad on a website as opposed to asking colleagues whom they already know/trust?

(MOST) Job Seekers will prioritize their job search in the following manner:

1. Job sites, recruiters, company job postings, etc...
2. Misc. (this could be anything like organizational contacts or school contacts; basically, anything that is less personal than the above but more personal than below).
3. Personal/professional contacts.
4. Networking (i.e. second degree contacts obtained through personal/professional contacts), internal bulletins.

This is basically the opposite of how employers search for prospective employees. Most job seekers will default to #1 because it is easy and requires the least amount of interpersonal communication. They will also sometimes look within organizations or first degree personal/professional contacts (i.e. people they already know) for job leads.

However, the chances that one has of finding a job within the pool of personal/professional contacts that one already has is slim, and pursuing option #1 is only going to show you the employers that have already exhausted every other opportunity to fill their vacancies, so this is the least effective way of finding a job.

Networking
The most effective way of finding a job for a job-seeker is by networking. This means calling everyone you know and asking them if they know anyone related to your profession or could lead you in the correct direction.

What I did was set up a spreadsheet with everyone I know (and yes, I mean everyone; don't assume that someone doesn't have any useful contacts just because they have nothing to do with your profession), their contact information, a field for the last time I contacted them and a notes column. I then contacted them and asked for leads in the following manner:

1. Do you know of any contacts within this profession that has the power to hire me?
2. Do you know of any contacts within this profession?
3. Do you know of any contacts that have contact with this profession?
4. Do you know of any contacts that might know someone that could answer any of these questions positively?

Basically, what you're doing when you contact is not giving up until they give you at least one contact. It's obviously preferable for them to respond positively to the earlier questions, but even if they don't know anyone in the profession, they could have a friend/family member/coworker/employee that does know someone that could lead you to someone in the profession. This is why it is important to get at least one contact for every first degree contact you have, no matter who they are.

Also, specific circumstances provide exceptions to this rule, but generally it is better to talk to someone in person than on the phone and on the phone than through email. This is because not only is it easier to basically "force" them into giving you information but it's also more personal and they will be more inclined to empathize with your situation (plight) and help you. A good exception to this rule is that, for example, I emailed my professors instead of calling them because they are all incredibly busy, but for the most part you want to call.

One more thing: if you don't get hold of someone, leave a voice mail with your information (why you're calling and how they can get hold of you), but contact them again within a few days. The point is to (politely) bug everyone you know into giving you a contact or a lead.

Second Degree Contacts
Now this is where it gets a little more intimidating. I'm going to talk about a few things before getting into the contact itself, as these are important to have down before contact.

Resume and Cover Letter
You can find information on how to construct a good resume/cover letter all over the internet, so I'm going to keep this short. Resumes should summarize all of your important achievements/qualifications to the extent that someone looking at it should be able to get a good idea about who you are and how qualified you are within 10 seconds. Yes, 10 seconds. This is because when employers look at resumes they are not going to read them; they glance them over quickly (as they have hundreds of resumes) to determine who they are going to contact.

So in short, keep it very simple, only put the most important points on your resume, obviously keep it to one page, and tailor your resume specifically to the profession, or if you want to be really ambitious you can tailor it specifically to the job (I say really ambitious because normally you send out dozens, if not hundreds of resumes weekly, and so that would just be too much work).

As for the cover letter, do not underestimate it. I have had many friends and talked to many employers who said that they invited someone into an interview or got a job because their cover letter made them stand out from everybody else.

Elevator Speech
You can also find plenty of information about how to construct an effective elevator speech online. In getting an interview, this is the most important tool that you have. An elevator speech is a very short speech that you can give that outlines entirely who you are, what you have accomplished, and what you are looking for. I've constructed my elevator speech in the form of bullet points, as I think it flows more naturally when I tie a list into a speech. It consists of my schooling, my professional history, my organizational affiliations, my accomplishments/certifications, personal traits (hardworking, etc...) and what I am looking for. It is probably shorter than this entire paragraph.

Your cover letter should be your elevator speech tailored towards the specific job you are applying for.

The Calls
Now that I've gotten that out of the way, I want to talk about calling/emailing second degree contacts. I understand that emailing is much less intimidating than calling, but you will get much more out of a phone call than you will out of an email. Therefore, it is absolutely essential that you call if possible.

The phone call here is the same as the phone call to your first degree contacts. In fact it is nearly identical. You want them to answer the exact same questions you asked your first degree contacts. However, you also have to introduce yourself in the beginning of the call so they know who you are and where you got their number from. Here's an outline for a phone script that I use:

You: Hi, my name is JLay87. I got your name from John Smith. Could I have a minute of your time to explain why I’m calling?
Them: "Sure”
You: [Rattle off your elevator speech] Do you know anyone I could contact that could assist me in starting my career in Civil Engineering [obviously tailor this question to your situation]?
Them: “Joe Biden @ 555-5555”
You: [Ask if anyone else comes to mind, thank them] Thanks so much for your time; I really appreciate it. We all had to start somewhere and I appreciate your taking the time to help me today.
[If they say NO they don't know anyone, persist!]
You: It doesn’t have to be someone in the field of civil engineering, just an influential person that might know somebody that could be helpful to me.

Remember, your job is to simply get a contact out of them, regardless of who it is.

This should cover the majority of the work that you do in attempting to get an interview; you should also of course be searching job boards and sending out your resume, but the most important work you do is in networking.

Also, an important note: you are not asking anyone for a job. You are attempting to get into contact with the people that do the hiring, and then asking them the exact same questions. You never ask for a job to an employer unless you are replying to an inquiry that they have put out.
 

What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.

You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

ENIGMA16

Master Don Juan
Joined
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Messages
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The Interview
All of the work you have done thus far has been for one goal: to get an interview. When you do get an interview (and using the above method you are sure to), there are a few things that you have to do to be prepared.

I'm going to be writing this geared towards my specific situation, but some of it is general knowledge that can be used in any situation while some might differ depending on your profession, skill level, position applying for, etc...

I'm not going to go into specifics, either, because you can find info on that everywhere, too. Dress nice, have some questions ready at the end, be friendly and open, etc... There are a few important things that I want to stress, though.

Introductions
The level of influence your actions have on another's opinion of yourself decreases considerably as time goes on. This is why introductions are absolutely important at establishing a good image and so the interviewer will think of you right off the bat in a positive manner. This means that when you first meet them be happy, maintain eye contact and give them a good handshake. Also say something like "It's a pleasure to meet you, [name]."

How To Interview
You should have answers to all of the common interview questions solidly answered in your head (you can find them online). Remember that the best way to interview is by putting yourself in the interviewer's shoes. What are they looking for in an ideal employee? What are they looking for in terms of the position? How does that relate to the development of the company? Now these questions can all be answered differently depending on who interviews you. For example, someone that works in HR isn't going to really care about the growth of the company as much as the owner that loses sleep over it at night. Therefore, it's more important in that situation to tailor your answers.

If you're interviewing with the owner then you will want to stress that you are hardworking, reliable, that you are concerned with satisfying customers and growing the company, and that the financial compensation required is not going to empty his wallet. You need to stress that he is someone that he can rely on, that will help grow his business and that he won't have to worry about. Granted, there are many different ways of tailoring your answers and this is just one example.

I'm losing steam after writing all of this, so all I really want to say about interviewing is that the vast majority of job seekers are too "me-focused". In other words, their answers are regarding themselves and their traits, and they don't relate it to either the interviewer or the company. Every question that you answer and everything that you say should be either indirectly or directly connected to how you are planning to contribute to their organization and how you will be an asset to them.

If an interviewer asks you if you have experience in something you don't have any experience in, you don't just say "No I don't have any experience in that." You want to take that situation and spin it to satisfy what I've just said. You could say something like "I've had a lot of experience in numerous aspects of this profession throughout my career, I'm reliable and a fast learner, and I am absolutely positive that my contributions will result in growth for the organization and customer satisfaction." See how I took a "me" answer (I don't have experience) and turned it around into a "you" answer ("my contributions will result in growth for the organization and customer satisfaction)? That is the key to giving a good interview.

In Conclusion
If you've read this far then you can see a common thread in my post. The problem with the vast majority of job seekers is that they are too "me" oriented and do not even consider what the employer/interview is looking for. That is why most people will just search job boards, and will give one word answers. That is why it takes huge amounts of work and time for so many people to find jobs; because when you do it that way the ratio of work to success is much higher; you have to work much harder to land an interview, and then it takes more interviews before you're actually hired.

The approach I've written here is entirely and 100% based on taking into consideration the desires and actions of employers/interviewers. Since they control whether or not you are hired, you must go where they are going and feed them what they want to hear. You must constantly think like an employer/interviewer and strive to meet those expectations as closely as possible.

I've been out of school for about 9 months now, and have yet to find a job. However, I have been actively employing this tactic for about a month and have already had one interview and have one scheduled for tomorrow. Part of it is luck, yes, and part could be related to an upswing in the economy, but I think primarily my recent success has been my adoption of this job search method.

Once again I highly recommend the books I cited at the start of this post; they go into much more detail about this entire process and you will learn a lot. If you have yet to find a job they will definitely help.
 
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