How to explain this to a girl I am dating

[Furyguy]

I met an amazing girl earlier this week and we started dating. I spent the night with her last night, as well as most of today. We are getting very serious, very fast, which I am fine with because I got nothing else going on right now and she's an absolute pleasure to be around.

Problem is I am planning on moving to the other side of the country in three months. I need to tell her this soon, before things become even more serious between us. If I don't, I know I will feel like a complete piece of sh*t and not be able to look myself in the mirror, because I feel like keeping something like that from a person you are getting into a serious relationship with is simply not right.

It's not a balls problem for me, but I'm not always the most tactful type and I suck at understanding female psychology. I really want to avoid scaring her away before things get off the ground between us. I want to spend the next three months with her and take it from there. If things are going fantastic between us, she may very well be my reason for deciding to stay in this city longer than I had originally planned. I am willing to postpone my plans to spend more time with someone amazing, but not cancel them forever and not for someone who isn't extraordinary.

I don't really know how to tell her, but I'm worried she'll want to just end things now to protect herself from getting seriously hurt if she falls in love and I walk out on her. Which has happened to her before. And, realistically, could happen with me as well.

My standpoint is that I just want to squeeze as much enjoyment out of life as possible, for as long as possible, which in this case includes being with her until I leave. I know my months left in this city will be that much better with her.

What I DON'T want is for it to come across as an ultimatum: "If you don't make me happy enough, if things aren't good enough with you, if I don't think we have a future, then I will move away." It's just a decision I hope to put off until I need to make it based on circumstances at the time.

This is very long-winded and I thank anyone for who took the time to read the whole thing, as well as anyone who offers advice or insight. Just the act of sitting down and writing this all out has helped me immensely as it is.

 

[TheJazz]

Don't come at it from that angle mate. You're putting way too much pressure on yourself. Instead, think of it this way: You're rolling the dice. However they fall, it's for the best. Tell her straight up you're moving, and go from there. Nothing is life or death. ...besides life or death.

 

[sexysuave]

Why are you getting so heavily involved after only ONE WEEK, or half of a week, of meeting/seeinng someone?

One thing I can tell you bro, I would NOT change my life plans for a girl I just met. I've been in too many and have seen too many bad results come out of this.

You're only 23 man, I would HIGHLY recommend keeping things casual with this girl and dont' get so heavily involved and go on with your plans.

And as selfish as this sounds, sleep with her first before telling her anything (unless you already have). Otherwise, she might get into a hissy fissy mood and use sex withdrawal as some sort of punishment for you "seducing her and making her fall for you, knowing that you would leave soon"..

Trust me, I've been around enough and have helped enough guys that I have seen situations where a girl would get mad if I guy has to leave/move/vacation/study abroad, after he "made her fall for him", so at least make sure you are getting your sex, because if you are not, and you tell her this, it will be 5X harder for you to get it. Her anti-hoebag mechanism will be running wild and overthinking things like "what does it mean if I sleep with him knowing that this is only a short term fling" bla bla bla..

So whatever you do, sleep with her first ('cause if you don't , someone else will, someone probably more of an assh*ole than you, so don't sit here and think.. yeah, if I sleep with her without telling her, I'm an assh*le.. you are a SMALL assh*le for it, but nothing major.. keep in mind, someone is gonna be hitting it, might as well be you while you're here).. so sometime AFTER you have hit it (not immediately while in bed obviously lol, than you'd be a real prick lol), just casually mention that you might be moving away in a few months.. you dont' need to give her specific details, but this will at least put that idea in her head that this is "just for fun" and this guy may be gone any minute.. hell, this will probably even result in more fun hanging out, as everything is LOW pressure and spontaneous, as there are no huge expectations..

Don't change your plans for this girl.. you have only met her, go about your life as you planned, you cannot really get to know a person in a couple of months.. you may change your plans and this thing end up turning to be your worst nightmare.. damn Freddy Krueger chasing you in your dreams and sh*t... lol